Page 41 of Love Story
“I am.” She blinked back tears and for a long time said nothing. She studied his face, his expression. Memorizing the way it felt to sit beside him, to be his fiancée. One last time. Finally she drew a slow breath. “Cody... it isn’t working.”
His cheeks grew a shade paler and alarm colored his expression. “Andi.” He shook his head. “What are you talking about?”
“Us. You and me.” She looked at her left hand, at the diamond solitaire on her finger. Then she lifted her eyes to his. “Lately... it’s like you don’t see me, Cody. You’re distracted. You look past me.” She hesitated. “Sometimes you and I are at dinner and you look out the window, like you’re seeing other worlds, other... I don’t know.”
“That isn’t true.” Cody took her hands. “I love you with everything I am, Andi.”
Even then Andi had believed him. “I know you do.” She savored the feel of his touch. “But you’re not excited. You’re not anxious to marry me. At least I don’t feel it.”
“But I do want to marry you... I think about it all the time.”
“You’re thinking about something else.” She paused. “Or someone else.”
Cody stood and paced a few feet. He looked shocked. “There’s no one else. This is crazy, Andi.”
“It’s not crazy. My parents see it, too.” She waited a few seconds. No way she was going to bring up Bailey. But she couldn’t help but think of her. Andi’s best friend had been Cody’s love for years. Sure, Bailey was happily married. But Andi still wondered if Bailey was the reason her fiancé had been distracted. The doubts in her heart wouldn’t go away.
One of Andi’s favorite movies wasScrooge,the musical. The one with Albert Finney. In that old film Abigail comes to visit Scrooge in his countinghouse. Scrooge barely looks up as Abigail explains that he has replaced her with his love for money. Her words to him replayed in Andi’s mind.And so I release you with a full heart, for the love of him, who you once were.
That’s how Andi had felt that day at the football field with Cody. With her heart breaking in half, Andi worked her hands free from his grasp. She removed her engagement ring and handed it back to Cody. “I can’t marry you.” She kissed his cheek and stood. “I’m sorry. You’re not who you were, Cody. I don’t know what happened but... I can’t marry you.”
That day, standing there with the engagement ring tucked in his hand, Cody said only a few words. “I’m sorry, Andi. I love you still. I always will.”
Then Cody had done something that stayed with Andi to this day. Something that reminded her not to dare answer the phone when he called. Not ever.
He let her walk away. Just watched her go.
Something he never would’ve done if he cared.
Andi let the memory break apart. She opened her journal again and once more read what she’d written.Cody, I still pray for you. I still miss you. I still love you. And one of these days I’ll stop writing you these letters.
That’s when I’ll know that I’m over you.
Her cell phone rang and she answered it on the first ring without checking callerID. “Hello?”
“Andi, it’s Randolph.” The director of the disaster relief organization.
She hadn’t talked to him since she was hired. “Yes, sir?”
“I wanted to thank you myself.” He sounded very satisfied. “Your friends Bailey and Brandon Paul made a significant donation today. I thought you should know.” He went on, explaining how the group would now continue serving hundreds of displaced citizens. Even buying Bibles for people homeless and hurting.
When the call was over, Andi sat on the hotel floor next to the sleeping puppy. She had barely mentioned the organization’s financial struggles to Bailey. And now this. Back in college, Andi had often been jealous of Bailey. Not only of Bailey’s ability to live out her faith but mostly of the way Cody looked at her. Cody, the only boy Andi had ever loved.
Andi looked out the window again. The clouds were gone.If Cody loves Bailey after all this time, would you set him free, Father? Please... Bailey’s married and that’s just... it’s wrong. Please, God.
Possibly she was mistaken. But Andi doubted it. The good news was that over time she and Bailey had become more than former roommates. They were real best friends. They talked on the phone all the time and they prayed for each other every day. Besides her parents, no one knew Andi better. She loved Bailey Flanigan Paul with all her heart.
Even if maybe Cody still did, too.
13
Cole had been quiet, and Ashley didn’t want to think about the reason. As the days passed, she blamed it on the depth of the story her dad was telling them, the way he and her mom had made small choices that led to actions neither of them ever intended.
But that Wednesday, Cole found her outside working in the rose garden and he confirmed her fears. He stood a few feet away and waited until Ashley looked up. “Mom...”
“Yes, Cole?” Ashley wiped the back of her hand across her forehead. Her knees trembled a little, but she hid it. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, except...” He narrowed his eyes, like he’d never been more confused. “Why are you avoiding me?”
