Page 64 of Love Story
Forever.
Andi took a step closer. “That’s how I want you to leave this time. Like the Adele song.” Her eyes had never looked more sad. “It matters how this ends. Just in case... I never love this way again.”
No!The word screamed through Cody’s mind. This was crazy! He had to stop her. But there was nothing more he could say, no argument that remained. She was still coming to him, still drawing nearer. “Hold me, Cody... like we’re more than just friends.” Her voice broke and the tears ran down her face. “One more time.”
The song played in Cody’s heart while he took Andi into his arms. This was their last goodbye. He could feel it. She was sobbing now. Not loud or uncontrollably, but with quiet tears. She pressed her hands into his back, as if she never wanted to let go. Same as him.
When she stepped away, her eyes were puffy. “I love you, Cody. Please... let me have my life.”
He had thought for weeks about what he would say if he was given this moment, how they would work through his issues together, and if she still struggled to trust him, they would work through hers.
But now, she had made it clear she didn’t want his excuses. However valid they might be. His eyes filled with tears, too. His sorrow made it hard to talk. But there was still one thing he had to say. “I’ll wait for you, Andi. If you can ever find it in your heart to trust me again, I’ll be there. One call and I’ll be on the next plane.”
After all she’d told him that morning, Cody expected her to reiterate the impossibility of that ever happening. But she didn’t. She stood there and watched him. Just looked deep into his eyes as if she were memorizing him.
One last time.
He walked with her toward the street then, and hugged her a final time. Cody hated that this was happening. He hadn’t come here to tell her goodbye. “I love you.” He wanted to kiss her, but he didn’t. There was no point. “I always will.”
“Me, too.” Again she looked at him for a long moment, and then she crossed the street toward the animal shelter.
His only choice now was to leave. Get in his car and drive away. But he wouldn’t do it, he couldn’t. Not as long as he could still see her. She glanced over her shoulder. Then, with a last look she turned away and disappeared into the tent.
Only then did Cody walk to his car and drive back to his hotel. He packed his things and headed to the airport. His heart was still beating, but he had died the minute she left. If he had nightmares on the flight home, they wouldn’t be about Afghanistan. They would be about something else. A blond, blue-eyed girl he would always love, walking out of his life.
For the last time.
•••
ANDI DIDN’T REMEMBERto breathe until she was inside the animal shelter and Cody Coleman was completely out of sight. The ache in her heart was so great she physically hurt.
Only then did she remember she still had to return to the hotel and pick up her puppy. She was grateful for the distraction. She cried the whole way. On the shuttle to the hotel and on the way back to the shelter. It took that long to stop her tears. All last night she had wrestled with God, asking Him whether she should get back with Cody or cut things off for good.
In the end, she felt the Lord leading her to say goodbye. But as the day played out, as she worked in the shelter and kept her distance from Caleb—who was more chatty than usual—Andi wasn’t so sure.
Telling herself that she was fine alone, that all she needed was her faith in God, sounded good. Altruistic, even. She was better off like this, living life where no one could break her heart.
But was it true?
She thought about Cody’s last words. If her heart ached for him before, this was a new gut-wrenching level, one she wasn’t familiar with. If he loved her... if he wouldn’t move on until she stopped being afraid of him... then what was she afraid of?
It was a question that haunted her the rest of the day. Was she wrong to let him go? After watching him help those children? Andi wrestled with her thoughts. Were her fears the only thing keeping her from a happily ever after with Cody Coleman? That night when Andi and her puppy reached their hotel, she wasn’t sure what to do. By now Cody had no doubt flown back to California. After all, she had made it clear she didn’t want to be with him.
Doubts collected in her heart like bits of debris on the local roadside. She read her Bible—1 Timothy this time. It was full of warning. But there near the end was a verse that gave Andi the most beautiful hope. Especially tonight.
But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it... if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.
Yes, Andi would be content with just that. Food and clothing and a life of serving the Lord. That would be enough. Andi remembered how it felt to be in Cody’s arms. She’d never feel that way again. Which would be okay, because God’s Word promised it would be. Food and clothing. She needed nothing else.
Or did she?
Andi looked at another verse, in Song of Solomon. One part stuck out to her:I found the one my heart loves.She read the words again.The one my heart loves.Yes, she had already found him. But no matter what he said, no matter how many times he promised her otherwise, the truth was he had always ended up hurting her. If he wasn’t leaving her, he was leaving her alone.
Either way was more than Andi could take.
She’d never been more confused. Alone in the hotel room with her puppy, Andi wondered if she was crazy. Cody loved her still. She believed that. So why was she too afraid to take him back again? Then she remembered the single mom and her children and suddenly the answer was clear once more.
She didn’t want to be that woman. Didn’t want to someday be alone and desperate in a house that was falling apart with three children and floodwaters rising. No, she couldn’t take the chance that Cody would leave her again. Better to be alone.
