Page 71 of To the Moon and Back
He tried to find a lighthearted smile. But it wasn’t possible. “It’s what I do.”
She nodded, never breaking eye contact. Then she managed a little wave and mouthed her next words. “See you.”
Brady wanted to scream. Why did they have to end the day now? Like this? She could’ve come to his apartment and they could’ve watched a movie or played backgammon. He wouldn’t push things physically, if that’s what she was worried about. They could’ve sat at the table and talked for all he cared. Anything but spend the evening alone when she was right here.
When it was still summer.
But she was already walking toward the house. He sighed, frustration taking jabs at him. “See you, Jenna.”
She was too far away to hear his words. She waved once more before she went inside, and with no choice left, he drove home. He could feel her pulling away. Like some dream, destined to end too quickly, their time together was almost over.
Sure, she could tell him why tomorrow. They could work out the details and come to an understanding. But that wouldn’t change the fact.
Jenna was leaving.
She was going back to Ohio and that would be that. When he was home, he stretched out on his bed and stared at the ceiling. That whole talking to God and his symptoms going away was nothing. Brady was strong. His body was fit. He would’ve gotten better with or without his challenge to God.
If God were real, this wouldn’t be happening. He never would’ve allowed them to find each other, only to take Jenna away again.
Brady blinked back tears. Once Jenna was gone, he would fall back into his same routine. He could already see it: working and volunteering and trying to make his way past April 19, 1995, 9:02 A.M. But this time missing her and longing for her wouldn’t last eleven years. Brady was sure.
It would last the rest of his life.
21
J enna was grateful Allison had her Bible study that night. She couldn’t have stayed up chatting, pretending everything was okay. Not when her heart was breaking. Allison would’ve seen through her façade and asked her about it.
And Jenna wouldn’t have known what to say. She was still processing the answers herself.
But by the next morning when Brady picked her up she couldn’t run from the truth anymore. She had the answers, and they weren’t good. She wore the key necklace today, the one she’d had engraved years ago. The one she would give to Brady, no matter how much her heart was breaking.
If only he shared her faith. If only he had found his way back to Jesus. Every day Jenna had tried to gauge Brady’s interest in God. She would talk about something being a blessing or she would refer to how the Lord was working in her life. Every mention of anything spiritual only irritated him. Confused him.
Jenna could tell. His eyes gave him away. Since yesterday’s storm, Jenna had replayed over and over the promise she’d made to God. The promise she’d made to herself. Brady was nothing like Dan, but the fact remained: Brady was determined to spend his life far from the Lord. He had alluded to that just before the tornado.
Which meant one thing.
She had to keep her word. Even if walking away from Brady Bradshaw was the hardest thing she’d ever have to do.
From the moment Brady picked her up, his steps were sure, his face alive with energy. Not the broken guy from yesterday’s storm experience, for sure. As she climbed into his truck, she ran her fingers over the engraved numbers on the key. She had no idea how he would take the news. She would have to tell him sometime today. Later. So they’d have at least a few good hours.
He smiled at her. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Her heart hurt. The subtle smell of his cologne mixed with the leather from the seats. She returned the smile, but the whole time she could feel the sadness coming.
If only he didn’t take her breath away every time they were together. She stared at her hands for a moment. God, change his mind about You. Please, get his attention.
Before he pulled away from the curb, he glanced at her necklace. “I like that. A key.” He seemed so much stronger today. “It’s different.”
“Thanks.” She looked out her passenger window. Different . The word lodged in her soul. That was the problem now. As much as they had in common, when it came to what mattered most they were different.
Their plan today had been set since the beginning of the week. They had decided to go to the memorial. Brady wanted to see about getting a sapling from the Survivor Tree for Amy, Ashley’s niece. And Jenna needed to see her parents’ memorial boxes. The way they looked with the photos and items she’d brought from home.
Still, the whole day seemed like a last-ditch attempt to Jenna, on both their parts. Maybe if they spent a day at the place where they had met they would figure out a way past their differences, a way around the logistics.
And they’d never have to say goodbye.
Before they reached the memorial Brady stopped at the coffee shop, the one they’d visited together all those years earlier. On the way in, he put his hand ever so lightly at the small of her back. The feeling was electric. One thing was sure. No matter what happened after today, Jenna would never forget him.
