Page 76 of To the Moon and Back
WHEN THEY REACHED Allison’s house, Brady came around to her side of the truck and helped her out. It seemed his physical strength had remained today, no matter how much the conversation had destroyed him.
Both of them.
This was it, the goodbye Jenna had known would happen. The one she had dreaded more than any in all her life. Brady closed the passenger door and leaned against the truck.
When he took hold of both her hands, she didn’t resist. Instead she came closer, inches from him. “I hate this.”
For a few seconds, determination flashed in his eyes. Like he might beg her to change her mind or let go of her promise to God. But the look was gone almost as soon as it came. “So that’s it? You leave tomorrow . . . and don’t look back?”
All she wanted was to be in his arms. Something hopeful. Think of something hopeful. “You know how to reach me.”
“Why?” His eyes were dry now, marked by futility. “Jenna, you’ve made up your mind. You need to keep your promise.” He released her hands and slid his into the pockets of his jeans. “This is it.” He paused. “Right?”
Jenna stepped forward. “I don’t want it to be.” She felt herself melting, falling into him. The space between them closed and she put her arms around his neck. “I love you, Brady.”
That was all it took. He placed his hands on either sides of her face, his fingers up in her hair, and like that his lips were on hers. The kiss was slow and unforgettable. A dizzy mix of longing and desperation and finality.
She could’ve stayed there forever, but one kiss became another and another. And a minute later, Jenna knew it was time. If she didn’t step away from Brady Bradshaw now, she never would.
Her breathing was jagged, her lips still hungry for his, but she did the thing she could never have done in her strength. She pulled away and took hold of his hands. They were trembling, tears brimming in their eyes. “Goodbye, Brady.”
“I love you. I always will.” His voice said he was past asking why, past trying to figure out a way to make her stay. “Goodbye.”
Jenna let go of his hands and moved back a few feet. “I love you, too.” She hesitated. “If you change your mind . . . you know where to find me.”
His eyes told her he understood. Not if he changed his mind about her. But if he changed his mind about God. “I can’t, Jenna.” His voice was barely a whisper. “God took the only people I’ve ever loved.” He blinked back tears. “I can’t believe in a God like that.”
She looked at Brady for a long moment, memorizing him, certain that for everything they shared, this really was goodbye. Not just for a while.
But forever.
By the time she turned and headed up the steps into Allison’s house, she was crying hard. She closed the front door behind her, leaned against it and slid down to the floor, her sobs coming from a place so deep and raw, Jenna wasn’t sure they’d ever stop.
She heard Brady start up his truck, heard him drive away. As he left, Jenna realized they hadn’t gotten a sapling for Ashley’s niece. It was another loss, though it paled in comparison to losing Brady.
Jenna wasn’t sure how much time passed. Ten minutes or fifteen. Thirty. But suddenly while she was sitting on the floor, while sadness racked her body and made her wonder how she’d ever move on, she had an idea.
A crazy idea.
Her phone was in her pocket, and she pulled it out. Through bleary, tear-soaked eyes she began to write a text message. She explained the situation and asked for help. Any help at all. Then she sent it to the one person who might be able to do something, the person who would always want Brady and Jenna to find a way.
Ashley Baxter Blake.
22
A shley got the text during the seventh inning of Devin’s summer league baseball game. As she pulled her phone from her purse, she figured the message must be from Amy, who was playing with Janessa at the playground adjacent to the ball diamond. But it wasn’t.
It was from Jenna Davis.
Landon was sitting beside her, cheering for Devin’s friend, who was up to bat. Landon didn’t seem to notice as Ashley shaded the phone screen to read it. The baseball game faded as the words came to life.
I’m sorry to bother you, Ashley. I would’ve called but I can’t stop crying, and I had to talk to you. I said goodbye to Brady a few minutes ago. Forever. Like I told you, we’re too different. He doesn’t believe. Which means I have to let him go. I knew you’d understand.
Ashley’s heart immediately engaged. She hadn’t heard from Jenna in a few days and she’d wondered how things were going. Clearly not well.
She kept reading.
This is the situation. What I never told you. A few years ago I promised God I wouldn’t fall in love with someone who didn’t believe in God. If I couldn’t share my faith with the person I fell in love with, then I wouldn’t fall in love.
