Page 1 of When We Were Young
1
Noah Carter’s paramedic uniform felt like it was made of lead. His black work boots, too. Like gravity had doubled down on him. Or maybe it was something else. Maybe his heart was trying to kill him.
He deserved it.
The rolling green grass of Bloomington’s Rose Hill Cemetery came into view. Already Noah could feel the serenity of the place. He parked his old gray pickup in the back lot and cut the engine. It was the second day of November.
The last day of his marriage.
Clouds gathered in the distance. Big storms forecast for Indiana. No surprise. There wasn’t a single sunny thing about this chilly afternoon. How could it have come to this? What had gotten so bad that he would walk away from Emily Andrews?
He loved her. He still loved her.
Just not when they were together.
Noah pressed his back muscles into the worn cloth seat and stared out over a sea of tombstones. This was where he needed to be. Perspective ruled supreme in a cemetery.
Especially this one.
His heart had led him here, to this place of death and defeat. The reason was obvious. For a long time now he could feel his heart turning on him. In the last two years, though it kept him alive, it had become a separate being, pulling away from the rest of his body. So that with every beat he could feel the struggle, the fight. His heart digging its claws into him and dragging him down, pressing against him. Spreading destruction and discouragement like arsenic through his veins.
If his heart was going to kill him, the job was almost done. He was moving across town tomorrow.
Noah climbed out of his truck and zipped up his blue paramedic jacket.Breathe, Noah. Just breathe. His shift at the firehouse had been longer today, and on the way out he’d run into the new fire chief, Landon Blake.
Last day of his marriage. He runs into Landon Blake, of all people.
The guy was the poster child for a perfect marriage. He had a slew of kids, including a niece they were raising. But every time Noah saw Landon and his family at a picnic or party, the man looked head over heels in love with his wife.
The chief was a Christian, Noah knew that much. Bible verses hung on the walls of his office. His faith showed in his actions. The man was intentional about his staff, always asking the guys about their home life.
This afternoon was no different.
“You doing well?” Landon had asked him. “Everything okay with the family?”
Why the chief would ask that today, Noah would never know. Unless God, Himself, put the question in the man’s mind. Whatever the reason, Noah wasn’t about to open up there at the station. What could he say? Everyone’s favorite Internet couple was calling it quits?
Noah hadn’t breathed a word about the pending split. He certainly wasn’t going to talk about it with Landon Blake. “All’s well, Chief.” Noah hadn’t even slowed his pace. Just waved at the man and walked right on past.
Conviction tightened its hold on Noah.
Never mind,he told himself.What’s done is done. Everyone would know soon enough. Emily didn’t look up to him. Didn’t respect him or believe in him. She was jealous of the fans Noah talked to online, and she no longer felt loved. End of story.
He glanced at the swirling clouds over the cemetery. The news would surprise everyone, of course. It would make headlines. Most of their followers would be devastated by the breakup. Especially people who found a reason to stay married because of what they saw in Noah and Emily.
But the person it would’ve hurt most of all would never know.
Sweet Clara.
A cold wind blew across the rows of tombstones and washed over Noah. He turned up the collar on his jacket and pushed into it. He didn’t come here much anymore, but today a visit seemed only right. Because Noah wasn’t just leaving Emily and their two kids. He was leaving Clara, too.
Even if she wasn’t alive to know it.
Three inches of rain had fallen in the last few days, so the ground was soft as Noah moved into the plotted field. Four rows in, six gravestones over and there it was. Noah stooped down and brushed off the marker.
Clara Andrews. 1990–2016
Tears stung at the corners of his eyes.Dear Clara.He leaned back on his heels and stared at her name.You’re whole now. Your body is perfect, the way your spirit always was.Noah breathed deep and turned his gaze to the sky again. “You take good care of her, God.” His whisper blended with another gust of wind. “No one ever loved You more.”
