Page 38 of When We Were Young
“It’s nothing. This is what friends do.” Emily led him to the bed and helped him sit on the edge. “You’d do it for me. If I ever took a hit like that in dance.”
“Sure.” He caught the humor in her voice and he chuckled. Just the slightest chuckle. But it made him wince all the same. “Mmmm. My head’s killing me.”
From behind them Clara stood in the doorway. “Sleep. He... needs sleep.”
She was right. Since that first moment in the hospital waiting room, Emily had kept Clara in the loop about how Noah was doing. The two of them prayed for him every night before they went to sleep and every morning before heading to school.
Noah smiled at Clara. “She has a point.”
“Yes.” Emily gave a solid nod. “That settles it. Get some sleep, mister. I’ll bring you lunch in a few hours.”
Dr. Baxter had given her a list of foods he could eat, proteins and healthy fats and green vegetables that would help his brain fully reboot. Absolutely no sugars or grains. Emily was up for the task. Three hours later she brought him a lunch of scrambled eggs and spinach and avocado. And so a new routine began.
Emily still took Clara to school every weekday, and she still drove to Indiana University and attended her classes. Still picked up Clara and took her to dance practice. Only now they would stop at their house on the way, make Noah a late lunch and check on his pain level.
Then, instead of dinner at the cafeteria after dance, Emily would stop at the football office and get Noah’s classwork. She and Clara would drive home and Emily would make food for Noah. The three of them would sit in his room, the lights barely bright enough to see by. And they would work on homework. Emily would take turns helping Clara and then Noah—reading to each of them and walking them through basic assignments.
Every day Noah got a little better, a little more like himself. At his two-week checkup at Dr. Baxter’s office, Noah was cleared to step into the light. His headache was very dim now, definitely bearable. He wore his dark glasses on the drive back to Emily and Clara’s house, but once inside he took them off.
Clara was in her room changing, so for that moment Noah and Emily were alone.
Emily could still see the emotions playing across Noah’s face. Gratitude and indebtedness, but something else. Something deeper. A passion that hadn’t been there before. “Emily.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “What would I have done without you?”
“You’d probably hate your roommates.” She loved the feel of his hands on her shoulders, but she hated it at the same time. This was a friendship, not a relationship. She didn’t want to fall in love with him. She found a light bit of laughter. “You know... because they’re so loud and all.”
He wasn’t laughing. He touched his fingers to her cheeks and the feeling made her dizzy. “I have to tell you something.” His eyes never looked away, never left hers. “I love you, Emily Andrews. I’m in love with you.”
She shook her head and felt fear creep into her eyes. “No, you can’t.”
“Why?” He took a step closer. “I’ll never love anyone the way I love you, Emily. What’s wrong with that?” He still didn’t blink, didn’t look away. “You feel it, too. I know you do.”
They could hear Clara in her room. The time was still theirs. With everything in her Emily wanted to deny it, to tell Noah he was wrong. She cared about him only as a friend. But it would be a lie. They both knew it.
When she didn’t respond, Noah drew her close, inch by inch, breathless second by second. And in what might’ve been the sweetest moment in Emily’s life, Noah kissed her.
Like she was born to love him, Emily did the only thing she could do. She kissed him back. Emily had no idea how long they stood there, lost in each other. She moved into his embrace and they kissed again. Emily had never felt so wonderful.
Even so, while she was still kissing him, she forced herself to stop, to find her senses. “I... can’t.” She tried to remember a single voice of reason, but she could no longer hear anything but his breathing. “Noah...” She took two steps back, her cheeks hot, tears in her eyes. “I can’t be more than your friend.”
Noah’s eyes were dark with desire. “Look what we have, Emily. Why?” He was breathing hard. He took a step closer, clearly wanting to kiss her again. “Why would you refuse something like this?” He exhaled, like he was trying to find a modicum of self-control. “Is it because you’re afraid we’ll...”
He let the sentence dangle there. She knew what he meant. Her whole body knew. If she kept kissing him like that, she’d definitely be afraid of that. But there was more on Emily’s mind. “No. I mean... It’s not only that.” She led him to the living room and sat next to him on the sofa. The touch of his hand in hers made her want to be in his arms again. She released his fingers and tried to focus. Clara absolutely could not hear her next words, so Emily kept her voice low. “It’s my sister.”
“Clara?” Noah looked confused. “I don’t understand.”
Emily felt tears spring to her eyes. She pressed her hand to her chest. “I amallshe has. I’m everything to her.”
“I know.” He clearly didn’t understand where this was going. “How does that affect us?”
“Because there’s no point in dating, when I’ll never get married.” A single tear spilled onto her cheek. “Do you understand?”
Noah reached out and dried her face with his fingertip. Then he took hold of her hand again and searched her eyes. “You’ll never get married?” He kept his voice low, too. “Because of Clara? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yes.” Emily nodded. “She needs me. Where I go, she goes.” Her tears came harder now. “What would I do, get married and move off to a new house? Leave her here by herself?” She shook her head. “I won’t do that. Never.”
The pieces seemed to come together then. Noah still had hold of her hand as he studied her. “Listen to me, Emily.”
She sniffed a few times and dried her face with the back of her other hand. “What?”
