Page 55 of When We Were Young
Her sister had friends there, people she’d gone to high school with. Teachers who cared. The small center might not have seemed like much to most people, but to Clara it was everything. Her entire existence outside their little home.
A week after the draft, Emily made up her mind. It was a decision that would just about kill her. She was certain of that. But she had to stay in Indianapolis with Clara. Which told her what she needed to do next. She asked Noah to meet her at the house that night, after Clara was asleep. Then she did the one thing she never expected to do.
She broke up with Noah Carter.
17
Somehow Noah made his way from the soccer field back to his bed. Their bed. The bed he still shared with his wife, Emily. Because he refused to believe anything else. He couldn’t exactly remember driving back to the apartment or getting out of his jeans. But he must have, because here he was. In bed again.
The pain in his head wouldn’t let up, even as he drifted off to sleep. He was thankful for his pillow, thankful for the way his heavy eyelids closed. Sleep was the best thing for a head injury, Noah had been told that dozens of times. But it was good for another reason, too.
Because in his dreams his past with Emily made perfect sense.
Typically when he had a headache, Noah’s sleep came in fits and starts. But not this time. As soon as he closed his eyes, he was back again. His senior year at Indiana University, just days after being drafted by the San Diego Chargers.
From the moment the NFL commissioner announced that San Diego was taking him with the tenth pick, Noah felt the ground beneath his feet turn liquid. Sure he walked up onto the stage and shook the man’s hand and smiled for the photographer.
In the reception room he did everything he was supposed to do. He wore the San Diego cap and chatted with the news anchors and a dozen cameras. Hugged his family and his agent and of course Emily and Clara.
But inside he was burning with just one question.
How was he going to move to San Diego when Emily and Clara lived in Bloomington?
The short answer was easy. Now that he was a Charger, Noah suddenly had more money than he could imagine. Enough to buy a house for Emily and Clara minutes from the San Diego stadium. Whatever they wanted would be theirs.
But he knew from the moment his name was called, Emily wouldn’t see it that way. Clara loved Indiana. It was her home, and Emily wouldn’t want to change things. Not at the risk of upsetting her sister.
He was at Emily and Clara’s one afternoon when Emily stepped outside for a phone call. Noah watched her go and realized this was his chance. He moved to the table where Clara was doing her homework, simple steps for the lesson on operating a cash register.
Noah sat across from her. “I have an idea, Clara.” He took hold of her hand and looked deep into her eyes.Lord, let her understand me. Let her be open to the idea.“How would you like to move to San Diego, California? Sunshine and palm trees. The ocean a few blocks away?” He held out both hands. “Wouldn’t that be something?”
Clara had always been so easygoing. Emily might think her sister wouldn’t want this change, still Noah had to find out for himself. But she didn’t give him a lighthearted smile and a simple nod of her head; instead Clara’s arms began to shake. Her eyes started to twitch and she shook her head in rapid, short bursts. “No. No California.” Her words would have been totally indiscernible to someone else, but Noah understood every one of them.
“Clara, it’s beautiful there.”
“This... is home.” She started to cry, started breathing erratically. In a matter of minutes she went from perfectly happy to a full-blown panic attack.
Emily would be back in a few minutes, so Noah had to hurry. He went to Clara and put his arm around her shoulders. “It’s okay.” He ran his hand down her arm. “You don’t have to go anywhere. You can stay right here.”
Understanding seemed to dawn on Clara. Her eyes grew wide and even more fearful. “Emily stay? Emily here?” She stared right at him, desperate for everything to stay the same. “Noah stay here?”
“It’s okay. No one’s going to leave, Clara.” He didn’t know what else to tell her. He was scheduled to report to the Chargers’ spring camp just after graduation. Of course he had to go. “I’m right here, sweetie. No one’s moving.”
A few minutes passed before Clara stopped crying and settled down again, until she clearly felt safe once more. When she did, Noah returned to his spot at the table and watched her, working on her skills, proud of herself and her accomplishments.
In that moment he understood. As if her life depended on it, Clara did not want change. She didn’t want to move down the street, let alone to California. This was the house she and Emily had shared with their mother, after all. In her perfect world, Clara wanted to stay here with Emily and him and keep living the idyllic life she had grown to love.
Forever.
When Emily returned from outside, she sensed immediately that something was wrong. She hurried to Clara and put her hand on her sister’s back. “Everything okay?” Emily stooped down so she could see Clara’s face. “You all right?”
“Emily stay.” Clara seemed to search Emily’s face. “Noah stay.”
“Yes, of course, honey. We’re right here.” Emily cast Noah a quick look. “No one’s leaving.”
Then Emily motioned for Noah to follow her to the back of the house. They stepped into the spare room, the one where Noah had recuperated after both concussions. Emily didn’t look angry, just unsettled. She kept her voice quiet. “What was that?” She looked hard at his eyes. “Why did she say that?”
Noah chose each word with care. “I was talking to her about San Diego, whether she might want to go there. Palm trees, the ocean. That sort of thing.” He was sure he looked as helpless as he felt. “I had no idea that just asking her would... would be so hard.”
