Page 9 of When We Were Young
“That bad, huh?” Kari’s voice was calm again. So soft Emily could barely hear it. “I’ve been feeling that was the case. I knew God wanted me to reach out to you.”
Emily lifted her eyes to her friend. “Noah hasn’t called you?”
“Not at all.” Kari took a sip of her coffee, her attention never leaving Emily. “You come up every time I pray. We haven’t seen you for five Wednesdays.” Concern filled her voice. “Noah won’t return Ryan’s phone calls.” She paused. “We knew something had to be wrong.”
Emily took a slow, deep breath. There was no easy way to say it. She could start back a year ago, when things first began falling apart. But maybe it was better just to get to the point. Today was all that mattered. Where they were now.
She let her eyes lock onto Kari’s. “Noah’s leaving tomorrow.” The words felt like so many rocks in her mouth. Would they ever get easier to say?
At first Kari seemed not to fully understand. “He’s... taking a trip? For work?”
“No.” Emily shook her head. “He’s moving out.” She felt the start of tears. “He’s at home packing right now.”
“Oh, Emily.” Kari set her cup on the table. Her face became a few shades paler. “No.” Her voice fell to a whisper. For a long while she sat there, like she was processing how this could have happened. “Are you saying he needs a few days away? Is that what this is?”
Exhaustion pressed in around Emily. Suffocating her.
Would it be like this every time she tried to explain how their marriage fell apart? How she let Noah Carter walk away? Emily stared at her coffee. No one would believe it. Not even someone like Kari.
The thought of years of conversations like this made Emily feel tired and sad. She inhaled and lifted her eyes to Kari. “Noah has an apartment across town.” She put her hands around her drink. The warmth worked its way through her, but it stopped short of her freezing heart. Emily shook her head. “It’s over between us. I’m... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
Kari let the news sit between them for a moment. Then she reached across the table. “I’m sorry.” She sighed. “I don’t know what to...” Her pause seemed to help her collect her thoughts. “Can we pray? Before we talk?”
“Sure. I guess.” Prayer. Something Emily hadn’t done in days. What was the point? Noah was leaving anyway. The only man she had ever loved—would ever love—was walking out of her life. Tears blurred her eyes. She couldn’t talk even if she knew what to say.
Kari took the lead. For the next few minutes she spoke the most beautiful words to God, calling Him the Healer and One who gives hope. She asked Him to comfort Emily and walk with her through this. Then she praised God for being the Wonderful Counselor and she ended the prayer with a single request. “God, we ask for a miracle—whatever that looks like. That Noah would come to his senses and find a way to make this marriage work. Because that’s what You want, Lord. It’s what Emily and Noah want deep down. We ask believing, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Emily wanted to say amen, but she could only mouth the word. Kari might as well have prayed that pigs could fly. Noah was leaving.
His mind was set.
“Emily. Tell me what happened.” Kari sat back and picked up her coffee. “I can’t believe it. You two are...”
“The couple everyone wants to be.” Emily looked at her wedding ring. “I know.” The sound of her children’s laughter came from upstairs. She wasn’t sure she had the energy to tell the whole story now. But she didn’t want to go home, either. “The social media... it’s been killing us for a long time.”
And like that the story came. Emily didn’t spare any details.
For twenty minutes Kari listened. When Emily reached the end, she felt fresh tears. “We don’t know how to be us anymore. How to be real.” She sighed. “He used to be my hero. Now I don’t even know if the guy back then was real.” She swirled the coffee in her cup. Then she lifted her eyes to Kari’s. “Like... was it all a big act? To get more followers? To build our public image?”
Kari nodded. “I can see that.” She seemed to measure her words. “But, Emily... if what you and Noah had wasn’t real, no one would’ve followed you.” Her pause felt heavy. “Have you thought of that?”
Emily bristled. This was the last thing she had expected. For Kari Taylor to take Noah’s side. She leaned back and crossed her arms. “Itwasreal.” She let that settle for a few seconds. “But it isn’t now. Somewhere along the way it stopped being real. He started craving the attention from... from a million beautiful strangers.” She put her hand over her heart. “After that,westopped being real. I look at him now and... I don’t know who I’m seeing. He cares more about the virtual world than me.”
“Okay.” Kari sounded confident. Like she was sure her advice was going to make a difference. Even now. “So stop the social media. Pull the plug.” Kari’s eyes held hers. “Take a few weeks away and remember how to hear God’s voice again. Then throw out your computers and find your way back to real.”
Emily loved how that sounded. Find their way back to real. She searched for a way to make Kari understand. “Noah doesn’t want that. He thinks I’m the problem. Not our online presence. Plus it’s our income. He’d do anything for the advertisers.”
“Advertisers?” Kari looked confused.
“Yes.” Emily felt sick explaining the situation. Like they’d bartered their marriage to the highest bidder. She sighed. “We make quite a lot of money with every social media post.”
The reality seemed to land on Kari. She nodded. “I see.”
Emily uttered a sound that was more cry than laugh. “He plans to pick back up with posting sometime after the divorce.” She shook her head. “If you can believe that.”
Kari looked shocked. “He isn’t thinking straight.” She hesitated. “I mean, he knows things have to change.” Kari looked confused. “Right?”
“Of course.” Emily felt overwhelmed again. “But he thinks I’m the one who needs to give in. That I stopped wanting to smile for the camera because I stopped respecting him. But him? No, he still loves it. It’s become one big egofest for Noah.” She exhaled. “And he can’t see any of that.”
