An expression that was more joy than surprise came over the man. “This will mean a great deal to them.” He seemed to force a more serious look. “Now, one thing we haven’t discussed. The father.”
“We’re not together. I don’t want him involved.” She shook her head. “He doesn’t want to be a father.”
Mr. Green hesitated. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. He... he was abusive. He should never be near this baby.” Her resolve couldn’t have been stronger. “This child is my concern.”
“Very well.” Mr. Green nodded. “You’ll give me his contact information and I’ll call him. He’ll need to sign something terminating his rights before we can move forward.” The man crossed his arms. “Once he does terminate his rights, you do not have to identify him on the paperwork.”
Relief flooded Elise. The attorney was going to handle Randy. Perfect. She couldn’t answer fast enough. “Yes, please. You can call him. That’s how I want it. The father not identified.”
“That’s fine.” Mr. Green looked through a stack of papers. “Now about Aaron and Lucy. If you decide to place your baby with them, there’s something you should know. The choice is yours, even after the child is born.”
Elise blinked a few times. “After? What do you mean?” She’d always thought adoption was permanent. From the first day. “For how long?”
“Two weeks.” He took a slow breath. “Every state is different, but the goal is to give you time to change your mind. In case you regret your decision.”
An ache took up residence in her soul. “Wouldn’t that be hard for Aaron and Lucy?”
“It would.” Mr. Green looked straight at her. As if he wanted her to really understand this next part. “But it’s part of the adoption process. Some birth moms make an adoption plan and think they’re certain about it.” He paused. “But once they hold their baby, they can’t go through with it. The court allows two weeks. After that the adoption is final.”
The idea of waiting those two weeks, knowing she was allowed to change her mind and that her baby’s future would hang in the balance was more than Elise could imagine. She clenched her jaw and shook her head. “I won’t change my mind.” The baby fluttered again even as she pushed ahead. “I’m sure, Mr. Green.”
“The rule is there for your protection. You don’t have to think about it yet.” He grabbed a file from his secretary’s desk. “One day at a time. That’s how the adoption process goes.”
Elise liked that. One day at a time. If she looked at it that way, she could handle this. The lawyer helped her sign the appropriate papers stating that she would choose Aaron and Lucy Williams as the adoptive parents for her baby. Mr. Green said he’d contact Randy later that day, and then the man talked to her about having an open or closed adoption. He gave her information to read about which would be better.
But Elise already knew. She wanted a closed adoption. If she was handing her baby over to Aaron and Lucy, then they would be the parents. An open adoption might confuse her baby. And her. No, she wanted a clean cut. Period.
When she was done, Helen drove her home. Elise thanked her, and had the woman drop her off four doors down. She didn’t want any questions from her aunt and uncle. They would know the truth eventually. But first she had to tell her mama.
When dinner and dishes were over, Elise went to her room, closed the door and dialed her mother’s number. Sure they had talked at least once a week, but every time Elise had kept it short. Her mom asked about schoolwork and Aunt Carol and Uncle Ken. A few times she asked whether Elise was making friends.
Always Elise kept her answers vague. Yes, she had friends. No, she hadn’t met anyone special. No, she hadn’t heard from Randy. Yes, she still had his number blocked. No, she wasn’t attending church.
Today was going to be different.
Her mom picked up on the second ring. “Elise! Hi, honey.” Her mom sounded nervous, like she was trying too hard to keep Elise from running again. “This is a surprise.”
Elise closed her eyes. Her mother had no idea. “Mama... I have something to tell you.”
The pause on the other end told Elise whatever it was, her mom wasn’t ready. No mother could ever be ready for news like this. She took a breath.Give me the words. Help her not to be too hurt.And then, as if it had a will of its own, the story spilled out.
She told her mom about meeting Cole Blake and how he was a gentleman from a wonderful family. “I’m going to church with them Easter Sunday.” Elise paused. It was the only bit of good news so she wanted the fact to settle in a bit. “Mama, Cole’s family, they all love Jesus. You’d like them.”
“Yes.” Her mom sounded cautious. “I’m sure I would.”
The story kept coming. Elise explained that after she got settled in Bloomington she began to feel nauseous and how Cole took her to get a pregnancy test. Two of them. “They were both positive.”
She heard her mother catch her breath. “Oh, Elise.” Her words were more of a quiet cry. Not disappointment, but heartbreak. Because this couldn’t have been what she wanted for her baby girl.
“I know, Mama. I couldn’t believe it, either.” Elise felt sick. This was the last thing she ever wanted to tell her mother. She’d been nothing but completely devoted to Elise every day of her life. Tears came over Elise all at once. Sobs gathered in her throat and for a minute she couldn’t talk.
“Baby.” Her mom was clearly crying, too. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve gotten in my car and come to you that very minute.”
The crying felt good. It was the first time Elise had really wept about all this. She lay on her side on the still-made bed and buried her face in the pillow. So Carol and Ken wouldn’t hear her. Then she let the tears come, wave after wave. Like she’d stored up an ocean of heartbreak these last few months. “I’m s-s-so sorry, Mama. I... I should’ve told you.”
Elise missed her mother more than she had allowed herself to think about. How could she have just lied to her and kept the phone calls short and believed everything would be okay? “I hate that I lied to you. I hate it.”