Page 64 of Someone Like You
“Well, then … I do.” His tone eased. He brushed a single tear from her cheek. “You are a beautiful girl who loves God and her family. A girl who loves me, even now.No matter what the future holds.” Each word was deliberate and healing, like balm to her soul. “You are intelligent and strong and you have the most amazing job waiting for you back home at the zoo.”
Hot tears filled her eyes again, but she nodded. Every word he said was the truth.
“You are Maddie West.” Connor leaned back and pulled out his phone. “I found this Bible verse the other day. Psalm 139. It says God knits us together in our mothers’ wombs.” He paused. “And He knit you together in the womb of Brooke Baxter West.” Connor ran his thumb along her brow. “Which means you are forever a West. Forever a Baxter.”
Maddie wanted to believe it. With everything in her she wanted Connor’s words to be true. “But I’m not—”
“Shh.” Connor’s tone was even more tender than before. “Don’t listen to a lie. You are Maddie West. You always will be.” He paused. “Now talk to me, love. What’s happening?”
The walls around Maddie’s heart fell and she took a deep breath. He deserved to know. So much more had been happening than she’d ever told him on their short phone calls. She swung her one leg back over the bench and turned to lean against the table, and he did the same. They sat that way, side by side, arms touching. Connor Flanigan. Her childhood sweetheart.
Then for the next hour she told him. They talked about London and where she went to school and what she liked to do. Maddie shared about living with the Quinns and how London had looked so much like her, even as a baby. But there was no way to avoid the truth about how she’d been spending her time.
“Dawson’s been talking a lot about forgiveness.” Her mouth felt dry. “Sharing Bible verses, encouraging me to call my parents and work things out.”
“Good.” Connor looked long into her eyes. “What else, Maddie? You and Dawson … you’ve spent a lot of time together.”
She nodded. “We have.” The ache in her heart spread to her gut. “God put him in the right place at the right time.”
Connor didn’t respond to that. He just watched her, waiting. As if he knew there was more.
“Anyway … he knows what I’ve been going through and … he’s helped. A lot.” How could she tell Connor she was attracted to another guy? And what was the point? She wasn’t staying in Portland forever, so Dawson couldn’t really be the problem. He had merely helped her see that marrying Connor wasn’t the right thing.
As painful as that was.
It took Connor a minute, but since Maddie didn’t expound on the situation with Dawson, he had to ask. “Okay … so do you have feelings for him?” He seemed to hold his breath. “For Dawson?”
Maddie looked down for a few seconds. When she lifted her face, her eyes were dry. “Yes.”Help me, God. Give me the words that won’t hurt Connor too badly.“How could I not?” She wiped her face again. “I don’t know what I feel. Dawson … he’s in love with my sister. Even though she’s gone.” She fought to find her voice. “Anyway, he isn’t the reason we’re having this talk.” She took his hand and he didn’t pull away. “I think … you and I were only … only supposed to be friends.” She drew a long breath. “Maybe I needed you to come here … to see that.”
Time passed while they sat there, hand in hand. Not crying. Not saying anything. Finally Connor stood and helped her to her feet. He eased her into his arms and for a minute they stayed that way. Holding each other, grieving a future that would never be.
When he stepped back, he put his hands on her shoulders. His touch tender, acceptance in his eyes despite the hurt. “I will always love you, Maddie.” He was such a good guy. Everything about him would forever remind her of her childhood.
“I’ll always love you, too.” She realized she might not have another chance to do the one thing she absolutely needed to take care of. She slipped the engagement ring from her finger and handed it to him. “One day, Connor, you will meet the right girl. And she will love you and adore you. And she’ll be head over heels for you. So much better than I ever could.”
It was the first time his eyes teared up. He looked like he didn’t want to take the ring, but he must’ve realized that was the only thing to do. Because he slid it into his pocket. “I’ll take you back.”
They held hands the whole way there, and when he dropped her off, when he opened the door for her and stood on the curb waiting, his eyes grew damp. Even so, he found a way to smile. “I was afraid today might go like this.”
She faced him, and he ran his hand along her hair. Then he moved a few feet from her. Maddie couldn’t believe this was really happening. She had broken off her engagement to the guy she had always thought she’d marry. But a big part of her heart felt free and whole and new. Another confirmation.
Connor didn’t break eye contact. “Either way … I had to come.”
“I’m glad you did.” Maddie hugged him and then she stepped back. “Tell your family … I never meant to hurt them. Or you, Connor.” She fiddled with the place on her finger where the ring had been. “I’ll always love you … all of you.”
He nodded, and for a few seconds he just stood there, as if he was soaking in the sight of her. One last time. “Goodbye, Maddie.”
Her tears came again. “Bye, Connor.”
With a final look he climbed into his rented SUV and drove off. Maddie didn’t move till he was out of sight. Then she walked into the empty house, headed for the room where she was staying and flopped on the bed.
The sobs overcame her and she didn’t try to stop them. She needed this. Grieving all that would’ve been if only she could’ve kept her wayward heart in line. But then, that wasn’t the truth. Just like she’d told Connor earlier, the problem wasn’t her attraction to Dawson. She and Connor weren’t right together, and when she looked back she could see the signs of that all along. Even so her heart felt shattered in a million pieces.
She could only imagine how painful the flight home would be for Connor.
THE TEARS DIDN’Tfall the way Connor had expected. He ached and he was pretty sure there was a hole where his heart used to be. But he didn’t cry. He kept his eyes on the road, and after a few minutes, he remembered his parents.He had to call them. They were praying for him, after all. They deserved to know.
He called his dad first, and added his mom in before getting to the news. The conversation was brief. “Maddie and I broke up.” Connor could hear the sadness in his tone. But his voice was strong. “She gave me back the ring.”
