Page 21 of Truly, Madly, Deeply
Ashley crossed her arms tight in front of her as she watched Dr. Berg thread the camera into Landon’s mouth and down his throat. Landon didn’t even flinch. Another ten minutes and Dr. Berg pulled the tube clear. “Beautiful! Your tissue looks pink and healthy.” He shook his head. “You were at Ground Zero for quite some time, is that right?”
“Yes.” Landon exchanged a glance with Ashley. “Until we found my buddy. He was FDNY.”
Dr. Berg pursed his lips. “I’m sorry.” He paused. “I hear that a lot.”
Of course he did. Ashley stared at her hands for along moment. Hundreds of firefighters were caught in the collapse of the buildings that day. Their FDNY coworkers were naturally the ones searching through the pile of smoldering toxic debris. And most of them—like Landon—didn’t leave till the last body was pulled out.
Dr. Berg took Landon for his scan, and Ashley waited in the exam room. She thought about the crazy timing of this test. Their nephew Tommy had just sat in a waiting room while his girlfriend, Annalee, underwent a similar exam.
The PET scan would check all of Landon’s soft tissue, every organ and especially his lungs. If there was cancer growing anywhere, the test would show it. Ashley paced in the small room. Every tomorrow hung on what Dr. Berg found in the next hour.
Ashley pictured their older son, Cole, in his sophomore year at Liberty University. Cole, who Landon had adopted when he married Ashley. Back when Cole wasn’t even in kindergarten yet. Now Cole and Landon talked every week—about classes and girls and the ways God was challenging Cole in his faith.
What would their son do without the man who was everything to him?
And then there was Devin. Their firstborn as a married couple was only twelve. He needed his father with every breath. Same with Janessa. At eight, she would barely remember Landon if something happened to him.
Amy’s sweet face filled Ashley’s mind. What about her? She had already lost her entire birth family in thathorrific accident. Could she survive losing Landon, too? Ashley didn’t think so.
She swallowed.Help me, Lord. Take away this terrible fear. It’s suffocating me.
Even with his cough, Landon was too healthy to die anytime soon. Hadn’t the doctor just told them Landon’s tissues looked healthy?Yes, exactly.Ashley was letting herself worry about diseases and diagnoses that didn’t yet exist. A story filled her heart, one that Jesus had told.
The parable of the sower, the one who threw seeds of faith into his field. Some landed on hard ground and the birds ate it. Other seeds fell on shallow soil and sprouted, but with no root systems, quickly died. And still others landed on fertile soil, where they grew and flourished.
It was the other seed condition that always concerned Ashley. The one where the seeds of faith were choked out by the weeds of worry. The worries of the world. Was that happening to her? Could her faith be suffocated by worry? Ashley wouldn’t let that happen.I trust You, Lord. I do. Whatever happens today, You hold the moon and stars and earth. So You can hold me and my family. I believe that.
Ashley took a deep breath and did what she often did in situations like this. She began to recite everything she was thankful for. Her faith and Landon, of course. And each of her children by name. Then every gift her children brought to her and to the world. Their kindness and intelligence and laughter.
Next she thanked God for her extended family, each person by name.
With every passing minute she felt more relaxed, more sure that she wasn’t invisible here on the forty-third floor in one of a hundred skyscrapers in Lower Manhattan.
She was seen by the God of the Universe and she was loved. She kept her prayer of thanksgiving going until Landon and Dr. Berg walked through the door. Landon was grinning. That was Ashley’s first sign that maybe… just maybe everything was going to be okay.
Dr. Berg folded his arms and looked at Ashley. “Your husband needs some good allergy medicine.” He grinned. “Otherwise he looks perfectly healthy. For now, anyway. His organs look perfect. Like he never spent a day at Ground Zero.”
Ashley was on her feet and in Landon’s arms before Dr. Berg could say another word. “Is this real?” She looked from her husband to the doctor. “Are you serious?”
“Very much so.” Dr. Berg laughed. “I’ll leave you two alone. You can check out down the hall.”
When he was gone, Ashley searched Landon’s face, his eyes. “You’re… you’re okay?”
“Yes.” He touched his lips to her cheek.
Tears stung her eyes again but she couldn’t stop smiling. “Landon, you’re not sick!”
“I told you.” His hands were on her face and in her hair, and he kissed her in a way that took her breath.Then he whispered close to her skin. “I’m not leaving you. Not ever.” He found her eyes again. “I want to grow old with you, Ashley Baxter Blake.”
She clung to him until she had her breath and composure. Everything was different now. The blue sky outside the office window and the joy in Ashley’s heart. “We need to meet up with the others.” She kissed him again.
“Yes.” His smile fell off a little. He didn’t have to say anything. She could read his eyes. Landon might have a clean bill of health, but there were countless others who did not. Others, like Jalen, who never stood a chance. Landon sighed. “Thank you for making me do this.”
He wasn’t talking about the doctor appointment, Ashley could tell. He meant the time they would spend today at the 9/11 Memorial Museum, thinking back on all that happened nearly two decades ago. The time with Dr. Berg was behind them.
Now it was a time to remember.
THEY MET UPwith Luke and Reagan and Tommy in the shaded courtyard just outside the doors to the 9/11 Museum. Ashley and Landon had decided to tell their family later about the doctor appointment and Landon’s incredible results.
