Page 24 of Truly, Madly, Deeply
Luke explained how on the night of September 10 they were in Bloomington at school.
“We had a deal. We didn’t hang out in our apartments alone. But that Monday night we broke our own rule.” She looked off. “We wound up watching the New York Giants on the couch at my apartment.”
“Your mom and I… well, we got caught up in the single moment we had tried to avoid. That’s where we were when the phone rang.” Luke sighed. Again his eyes found the invisible spot in the sky.
“It was your grandpa.” Reagan could still hear her dad’s voice as he left a message that night. “He loved the Giants and he had called to celebrate with me.” She looked down. “I didn’t take the call. I… I missed the chance.”
“And the next morning…?” Tommy looked from Reagan to Luke.
“I was in class when I heard about the attacks.” Luke stared off. “I ran to find your mother.”
A sad understanding darkened Tommy’s expression. “So… Mom, you never got to talk to him?”
“No.” Reagan felt the sting of sorrow in her eyes. “By the time your dad came to my apartment, I was already packing. I had to get home.” Tears trickled down Reagan’s face as she finished the story. In the devastation and horror of the morning, communication broke down between Reagan and Luke. Reagan boarded a bus from hercollege apartment in Bloomington to her home in New York City.
“The whole time I told myself he was alive.” Reagan dabbed at her cheeks. “If anyone had found a way to make it out, my dad would have.” She looked up again. “He would’ve done anything to get out of there.”
Of course, now she knew different. But that story could wait.
Tommy was quiet for a long moment. He stood and moved to the edge of the rimmed waterfall again, the spot where his grandfather’s name was engraved. Five minutes passed before he finally returned to his spot on the bench. He looked at Reagan. “What happened next?”
“I wouldn’t talk to your father.” She turned to Luke. “Something I still regret.”
Then she told Tommy how she went home and learned the terrible truth. Her father had not made it out. He had been killed with thousands of others when the towers collapsed. In the days and weeks that followed, no matter how many times Luke tried to reach her, Reagan refused him.
She paused. “A month later I learned I was pregnant. With you.”
Again the realization seemed to come over Tommy. “From that night…?” He drew a sharp breath. “The night before the attacks?”
“Yes.” Luke put his arm around Reagan, but his eyes locked on Tommy’s. “Your aunt Ashley brought us backtogether. Months after you were born.” He paused. “I didn’t know about you until then.”
Reagan needed Tommy to understand something. “You were always proof of Romans 8:28.” She put her hand on Tommy’s knee. “God works all things to the good for those who love Him.”
Tommy nodded slowly. “Such a… crazy story.” He turned and after a few seconds, he hugged them both. “I’m sorry. For all you had to go through back then.” He kissed Reagan’s cheek. “Sorry you didn’t get to talk to Grandpa one more time.”
Peace and sorrow mixed like a healing balm in Reagan’s soul. “He would’ve been so proud of you, Tommy.” She leaned her forehead against her son’s. “I know you’ll meet him one day.”
Sitting there on the bench with two of the people she loved most in the world, Reagan could almost forget what it felt like that long-ago Tuesday morning. She hadn’t only been upset with herself and Luke for what they’d done the night before.
She’d been destroyed.
Back then, every time she thought about Luke she could hear her father’s voice on the message machine, the kindness and light, the way he had sounded leaving the message that evening. After that, the idea of ever seeing Luke again was preposterous. She hated him and she hated herself.
Those parts of the story she spared their son.
After a few minutes, the three of them wandered around the perimeter of the reflecting pool, pointing out details and avoiding other mourners.
They met up with Ashley and Landon, and the five of them moved toward the new Memorial Glade adjacent to Ground Zero. Tommy walked beside Reagan, quiet, pensive. Clearly more keenly aware of all 9/11 had cost them. Not just Reagan. But Luke and even Tommy, himself. He slid his hands into his sweatshirt pockets. “I wish I would’ve had the chance to visit him here. On the eighty-ninth floor.”
“Mmm.” Reagan smiled. “You would’ve loved the view.”
Later today they planned to take the elevator to the top of the new World Trade Center. Just so Tommy could get an idea of how high up his grandfather had worked.
They slowed their pace as they reached the new garden. It was built to honor those still dying from diseases caused by 9/11. A quiet somberness hung over the pristine grounds and the giant pieces of granite that jutted up from the edges of the path.
Reagan found a bench and Ashley took the seat beside her. “So many memories.”
“Yes.” Reagan turned to her sister-in-law. “How’s Landon? His cough… I’ve noticed.” It wasn’t something Reagan had wanted to ask about before. But here at the Memorial Glade, the question seemed appropriate.
