Page 36 of Truly, Madly, Deeply
“They’re giving her something to make her sleep.”Donna sat back down. Her eyes never left Annalee. “I’m just… I can’t…” She hung her head and her body began to shake.
Reagan slid her chair closer and put her arm around Donna’s shoulders. “You and Dan will not walk this alone.” Emotion tightened her throat and she took a few seconds to find the words. “Today I’ll tell the school. At the assembly, like you asked.” Reagan hugged her friend close. “The whole Northside community will be with you. Every day. Every hour.”
Donna turned to her. “Dan will be here after lunch. It’s a lot for him, balancing work and visits to the hospital. He wants to be by her side through it all.”
“Annalee knows that.” Reagan paused. “There’s no easy way to get through something like this.” She checked the time on her watch. “I need to go. Please… tell me if I can do anything.”
“I will.” Donna stood and walked Reagan to the door. “Tommy has been amazing. He was here all day yesterday. He’ll be here this afternoon, too. When school lets out.” She managed the slightest smile. “He’s a great young man. You must be… very proud of him.”
Very proud. Reagan felt the words like a cut to her heart. “Yes. We are.” She didn’t let her deeper concerns show as she hugged Donna. “I’m here for you.”
Reagan walked down the hall and took the first elevator.You must be very proud of him.She squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds. Did Donna know Tommy was considering police work? No, that wasn’t possible.He wouldn’t have told Annalee’s parents before he told his own.
The truth was, Reagan had so much to be proud of when it came to her oldest son. So why had she treated him so terribly in the face of his news? She should’ve reacted like Luke.Sure, Son,she could’ve said.That’s wonderful. When do you think you’ll apply to the department?
Instead she had alienated him and let him go to bed hurt and angry.
Reagan reached her car and slid behind the wheel. Of course she was proud of Tommy. But a police officer? The idea was still sending shock waves through her soul. Even so… what kind of mother was she to treat her son that way? Tommy had been happy, after all. Excited to share his announcement. The thought stayed with her. Why couldn’t she have been more like her husband—suggesting ways Tommy could get into police work more quickly? More efficiently? She had no answers for herself on the drive to Northside High and none when she joined with other teachers in the auditorium minutes ahead of the assembly.
Reagan headed up the Northside PTSA. She worked in the high school office, and managed all parent volunteer duties. It was a paid position, and one she loved. Now, surrounded by the high school staff, Reagan waited till each class had filed into the building. There were nearly five hundred students in grades nine through twelve. When all of them were seated, she took the microphone at center stage.
“Some of you may know that Annalee Miller is sick.” Reagan felt a catch in her breath. Her eyes met Tommy’s in the audience.
But her son looked away.
Reagan didn’t blame him. She took a slow breath. “Annalee has non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. She’s very ill, and she’ll miss the rest of this semester. Probably much of the spring, as well.” She kept her eyes away from Tommy this time. Her announcement held enough heartache without her being constantly reminded of the trouble with her son.
The announcement didn’t last long. Reagan told them that the school would be doing fundraisers to help the Miller family with expenses while her parents cared for her. “We’ll send something home from school soon, letting you know how you can help. Until then we’ll do what we can right now.” She looked around. “Please stand. Principal Larson is going to pray for Annalee. For a miracle.”
It was all Reagan could do to keep her composure as she turned the microphone over to the principal. Larry Larson had been the head administrator at Northside for more than a decade. When one of their own was sick or injured, he took the news personally. Mr. Larson was a praying man, like much of the community. The school’s student body and parent community were grateful for the fact.
With teary eyes, the man asked the students to bow their heads. As he began to pray, Reagan watched thestudents form circles, their arms around each other. A group of a dozen or so surrounded Tommy. And of course. Everyone knew he and Annalee were inseparable. If Annalee was sick, then Tommy was suffering, too.
The show of love and friendship was striking.
On the way home that afternoon Reagan realized something that made her sick. The students at Northside were clearly determined to give Tommy the utmost level of support. Reagan blinked back tears as she pulled into her driveway. Whatever the situation, whatever he needed, his friends would have his back.
She pulled into the garage and gripped the steering wheel. If Tommy’s friends and classmates had known about his decision to skip college and be a police officer, every one of them would’ve stood by him. Cheering for him. Excited for him.
So then the real question was this.
Why couldn’t she?
13
The idyllic world Tommy had known just a few weeks ago was gone. Forever, it felt like. Annalee was worse every hour, weaker and sicker no matter how much he prayed. And things were just as bad at home.
Tension was still growing between Tommy and his mother. Not only that, but things seemed strained between his parents. They were barely speaking to each other. All in the days that had passed since Tommy had told them his decision.
Malin and Johnny hadn’t noticed. They were busy with school and homework and after-school teams. But Tommy knew. He could see the way his mom and dad looked at each other these past few evenings, and it wasn’t good.
Despite that, they must have come to some agreement. Because yesterday after he returned from the hospital, his dad had pulled him aside. “Detective Mike Lockwood called. You can do a ride-along tomorrow, if that works. I told him you didn’t have basketball on Saturdays till the season begins.”
“Really?” The thrill that ran through Tommy had only confirmed his desire to be a cop. That’s when hetold Tommy about the age requirement. Tommy had to be twenty-one before he could work for the IMPD. But there were other states where he could work first. Right after graduation. Then he had glanced toward the next room, where his mom was helping Malin with a math assignment. “What about Mom?”
“She’s okay.” His dad hadn’t sounded totally convincing. “She wants you to see what it’s like.”
But at Johnny’s soccer game this morning, Tommy didn’t think his mom was okay at all. She barely made eye contact with him. After lunch, as Tommy was headed downtown to the police station, he found her in the kitchen making cookies.
