Page 60 of Truly, Madly, Deeply
For now Tommy respected her wishes and didn’t ask how she was feeling or if the cold was getting to her. He didn’t talk about any of it. Not the remaining treatments or the fact that she would return to the hospital again in four days. He didn’t mention that he was praying hourly that the chemo and every other drug would actually work. That the cancer would be gone.
Instead he had simply made a date with her. A walk to the stream. In the spring.
For now, that said it all.
NEARLY EVERYONE HADgone home now, including the Millers. It was just Reagan and Ashley finishing the last of the pans. Their kids were outside with their grandpa John and grandma Elaine, and Luke and Landon were watching football in the family room.
Everyone had helped with the clean up, but Reagan wanted to handle the last of the dishes alone. With Ashley. They hadn’t talked in person since before 9/11. Before Annalee’s cancer treatment began, and before Tommy’s decision to be a police officer.
“She looks wonderful.” Ashley was at the sink washing.
“Yes.” Reagan stood next to her, towel in hand. “So pretty.” She thought about the day, how Annalee had held up through dinner and during the conversation anddessert that followed. “It was like God gave her a day’s break. A respite from all she’s been through.”
Ashley scrubbed a pie dish. “Life is hard… but days like today, when we’re all together… laughing, sharing a meal. Being thankful. The good times are so much brighter.”
No one understood better than this family the meaning of hard times. Reagan took the clean dish from Ashley and dried it. “I look at Amy, growing up. All these years since losing her family.” Reagan smiled. “Watching her tonight, it was like she’d never been through any of that.”
“Thank you.” Ashley wiped her wrist across her forehead. “Just hearing that brings me so much joy, Reagan.”
For a minute, neither of them spoke. After the accident, after Ashley and Landon took Amy in, there had been seasons of sorrow. But Amy had adjusted, and new life had blossomed for all of them. The same had been true after Ashley’s mother died of cancer not long after Ashley and Landon married, and when Ashley gave birth to a baby girl who barely lived long enough to be held by her family.
Every season, every tragedy God had brought them through. “God never stops loving us. I’m seeing that more and more.” Reagan dried another pan and set it on the counter.
“Definitely.” Ashley finished washing the last serving platter and turned to Reagan. “How are you doing? With the whole police thing?”
“I still don’t like it. If I’m honest.” The fear that had plagued Reagan was easing. In the daytime, at least. “But I understand his decision better. Getting to see Officer Raul with his family and friends after he came home was important. It changed things for me.” She dried the platter and the two poured coffees and took them to the kitchen table.
“You texted me that Officer Raul told you something that night?” Ashley leaned back and sighed. “You never said what it was.”
“He reminded me of a truth I’d forgotten. He told me God has the number of our days.” She uttered a sad laugh. “Worry won’t help. Being terrified about a decision Tommy might make or… something any of our kids might do—there’s no point in that.”
“I remember finding peace with that truth.” Ashley leaned forward. “After Cole had that choking incident. Remember?”
Reagan nodded. “Of course.” The tension that night had been terrible. Ashley was still figuring out life as a single mother to baby Cole, and she and Luke had been fighting. “Luke left a bottle cap on Cole’s high chair tray, right?”
“That’s it.” Ashley tilted her head and looked up at the ceiling for a minute. “So terrifying.” She looked at Reagan again. “If Landon hadn’t been here to do the Heimlich on him, I’m pretty sure… I don’t know.”
Reagan set her coffee down. “You dealt with your fear of being a mom after that?”
Ashley laughed. “Not like it was one-and-done. Not hardly.” She hesitated. “But I remember thinking a few things. First… I had to be more careful.”
“Don’t we all.” Reagan remembered the way she’d come unglued that first night when Tommy told them he wanted to be a cop.
“But also, there’s only so much we can do.” Ashley blew on her coffee and took a sip. “The only day ever promised to any of us is… well, today.”
It was the exact lesson Reagan had been learning. “I have a story I want to tell Tommy, something my mom shared with me on the anniversary of 9/11. About my dad’s death.” Reagan folded her hands in her lap. “But I’m holding back.”
“How come?”
Suddenly from the other room, Luke and Landon each let out a loud cheer. “That’s my Lions!” They heard Landon clap a few times. “Gotta love Thanksgiving Day football!”
Reagan and Ashley laughed. “See?” Ashley shook her head. “We have no idea what tomorrow brings. Not for Annalee or Tommy… or any of us. But today?” She pointed toward the family room. “Today we laugh and clap and cheer. We celebrate because this day—this one special day—will never come again.” Ashley’s eyes lit up. “Same with that special day coming up a few weeks from now! Sounds like everyone’s joining in on the surprise.”
“I can’t wait.” Reagan smiled. But for now they had this day. This single moment.
Again they were quiet for a long minute, catching their breath from the day. Ashley set her coffee cup down. “Why are you holding back? About the latest details of your dad’s death?”
“I guess… I’m afraid they’ll make Tommy even more sure about being a cop.”
