Page 75 of Truly, Madly, Deeply
“It’s us.” He put his hand on her shoulder and tried not to notice how bony it felt. “Remember that day? Wewere both laughing at something your brother said, and your dad took the picture. Beach in the background, sun on our faces. Laughing like there was nothing tomorrow could do to take our joy.”
“Mmm. You’re the poet, Tommy Baxter. You should be a writer.” She turned her eyes to him again. “There still isn’t anything. That could steal our joy.”
“Which is why I chose that picture. To help you remember…” He gritted his teeth. “When… when it’s tough.”On nights like this,he wanted to say. But he couldn’t get the words out. He couldn’t break down. Not here. Not tonight.Help me stay strong for her, God. Please, help me.
“And the Bible verse.” Her smile looked almost angelic. Annalee’s beautiful smile. “My favorite.”
“Yes.” He leaned closer, brushing his fingers across her forehead. “ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” He took hold of her hand again. “ ‘And not to harm you.’ ”
“Tommy.” She held the locket to her heart. “I love it. I’ll wear it always.”
He thought for a minute. “Except probably not when you play tennis.” With his free hand he made an exaggerated motion of an imaginary locket swinging from side to side.
She laughed out loud. “Oh… so not when I play tennis, then?”
“No.” He tapped his temple. Like he was racking hisbrain. “And maybe not when you’re swimming.” He nodded at the locket. “Because the picture and… well, water. You know.”
Again she laughed, and the sound was richer than any Christmas carol that night. “You’re so funny.” She made a mock serious face. “Okay. Not when I play tennis and not when I swim.”
“Because you love those things.” He raised his brow at her.
“I do, Tommy.” Her laughter dropped off and the air between them changed. “I do.”
And suddenly there was no way he could stop the tears that filled his eyes. Not just because she couldn’t do those things now. But because of her words. Soft words spoken with the voice he loved more than any in the world.
I do.
“One day…” He took the locket from her and set it on the table near the little tree. Then he sat on the edge of her bed and drew her close. So she was in his arms the way he’d been wanting her to be since he got here. He took her face in his hands and let himself get lost in her eyes. “One day those are the only words I want to hear you say, Annalee. I do.”
He kissed her cheek. “And I’ll say them, too. And we won’t be in this cold, gray… hospital room. We’ll be in front of our family and friends and you’ll be the most beautiful bride ever.” He wiped a tear from her cheek. “And I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.”
“That was my dream.” She searched his eyes. “That day in the scan.”
“About our wedding?” Hope warmed his heart. “Really?”
“Yes.” She put her hand on his face. They stayed that way for half a minute. “I wish… you could kiss me.”
A quick breath stopped him from acting on the sudden impulse. He couldn’t kiss her. No matter how much he wanted to, he wouldn’t. She was too weak, too susceptible to germs.
Instead his smile came easily. “Well…” He traced her cheekbone with his thumb. “Now you know. It’s my dream, too.”
He held her then, until they heard her parents returning. Once more he kissed her cheek, and then he whispered near her lips. The lips he wanted so badly to kiss. “Get better, Annalee. Get stronger.”
As her parents entered the room he stayed there. Then he motioned them close and he prayed for her. That God would make clear the good plans He had for her, and that she would get stronger. By morning.
She couldn’t wear the locket yet because of the port in her chest. But one day… one day soon.Please, God, one day.He leaned near her face one last time. “Merry Christmas, love.”
“Merry Christmas.”
And with that Tommy thanked her parents for the time, bid them goodbye and left her hospital room. On the way to the elevator he could barely see through histears. What if the cancer was getting worse? Why would she be so weak?
Then as he made his way out of the hospital he realized something. He blinked so he could see better. This was exactly what Pastor Dell had been talking about. Okay, so he was afraid. The odds were against them and he couldn’t do anything about it.
But he could do this. He could keep walking to his car, keep seeking God from now until Christmas dawned and every day after. And, like Mary and Joseph, he could keep believing.
That most of all.
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