Page 41 of Truly, Madly, Deeply
Her mom took the scissors first, and stood next to Tommy. She looked straight into Annalee’s eyes. “It will grow back, sweet daughter. The hair I’ve combed and braided and curled since you were a little girl… it will grow back.” She kissed Annalee’s forehead. “I believe that.”
Annalee nodded. Her throat was too tight to speak. Her mom lifted the scissors to her hair and cut a section. But she didn’t let it fall to the ground. Instead she kept it wrapped tight in her hand.
“Father, we come to You in acceptance of Your will, Your plan.” Her mother’s voice was soft, broken. But it grew steadier with each word. “At the same time, we thank You for the healing You are giving our girl.” She cut another small section. “Like trees pruned each autumn,we believe you will restore Annalee’s body and energy and health. And yes… even her beautiful hair.”
Then, her mother stooped down and set the pieces of Annalee’s hair on the sheet. Like they were too precious to just let drop. The song was reaching Annalee’s favorite part and all around the room the people she loved began to sing along.
These were the lyrics Annalee clung to, the ones that sang about God working even when they couldn’t see Him or feel Him. The sound of their soft voices breathed peace through Annalee. The same way Tommy’s hands around hers did.
Next came her dad. “Hi, honey.” He put his hand alongside her face and looked long into her eyes. “You probably don’t remember when you were a little girl. Three or four years old.” He laughed, blinking back tears. “At bath time you absolutely hated having your hair washed.” He ran his thumb over her eyebrow.
“I do remember.” Annalee felt two tears spill down her cheeks. “I was afraid the soap would sting my eyes.” A quiet laugh came from deep inside her. For a few seconds she was that same little girl again. “You remember what you would do?”
“Yes.” Her dad put one hand on his hip and raised the other out to the side. “I’m a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle… here is my spout.”
Soft laughter came from others in the room as they watched Annalee’s dad bend at the waist. “Something about that song always made you laugh. And I wouldtake that light blue plastic cup and we would pretend it was a teapot.” He brushed at a tear on his cheek. “Only then would you let me rinse out the shampoo.” His smile faded. “I always loved washing your hair, honey.”
He took a deep breath and paused for a minute. Then he lifted the scissors to a section of Annalee’s still soft blond strands. “Father, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Watching my little girl go through this. Seeing her lose a part of her she’s loved since she was a toddler.” His voice broke and it took half a minute before he could speak again. “We trust You, God. Please… heal our girl. Heal Annalee for us, Lord. Only You can help us.”
Annalee squeezed her eyes shut. She hadn’t cried once since being admitted to the hospital. But now her tears came in a flood, quiet streams of sadness and release running down her face. Her mother brought her a tissue and Annalee let go of Tommy’s fingers long enough to press it to her eyes. Then she tucked the tissue into her other pocket and held his hands again.
Tommy was so close, their knees touched. She could feel his heartbeat in his fingers, smell the minty fresh of his breath on her face. He was holding her up, making good on his promise.
The song changed and this time it was “Lord, I Need You.” And every word mixed with Annalee’s deepest thoughts.I do need you, Lord. I need you every hour of this journey. Stay with me, please, Lord. Help me.
Her dad cut one section—same as her mother. Then he too laid it on the floor. Once more he touched her face. “I love you, baby girl.”
Annalee could barely see through her tears. “Love you, Daddy.”
Austin was next. Her younger brother looked uncomfortable, like he was sick to his stomach at the thought of taking scissors to Annalee’s hair. But he came, anyway. This was what Annalee wanted and Austin wasn’t going to back down from that. Clearly.
He stood next to Tommy and grinned at her. “I keep thinking of the time we went camping. Just the family. You were, I don’t know, maybe eight years old.” His eyes were dry, but the sadness there could fill an ocean. “We found that stick covered in sap. Like… dripping with sap, remember?”
Annalee’s own laugh caught her off guard. She nodded. “What were we thinking?”
“You wanted to be a forest princess. Something like that.” He shrugged. “I did what you asked. I wrapped your hair round the stick until it was poking out from either side of the top of your head.” His laughter faded. “Dad had to take his pocketknife and cut the stick out. Right?” He looked at their parents, standing together a few feet away.
“It was like doing surgery.” A faraway look came over her father’s face. “You thought you’d have to stay home from school for a year.”
Annalee could still see herself looking in the mirror once the stick was finally out. “I lost a lot of hair. But just from one side. No one ever noticed.”
Austin took the scissors from their dad. Then he lowered his voice so only Annalee and maybe Tommy could hear. “It kills me to cut your hair, Annalee. You have the prettiest hair of any girl I know.”
Again Annalee’s tears came. She closed her eyes. The strength she needed couldn’t come from any human. Not in light of her brother’s words.Help me, Lord. So much love around me, but so much sadness. Please, help me.
Everyone sang as the song changed. This one was about God being the king of everything. Even the hearts of His people. Austin breathed in sharp through his nose. Like he was trying to find the strength to voice his prayer. “Dear Jesus, I know You love my sister. Even more than I do.” He sniffed. “God, she’s the nicest person I know. And I believe with everything in me that she has much to do on this earth for the next hundred years. At least.”
Annalee felt a smile tug at her lips. She loved her brother so much.
“So please”—Austin gritted his teeth—“kill off this cancer. Every cell of it. So that Annalee never, ever has to go through this again.” He cut one section of her hair and set it on the ground. Then he handed the scissors to their uncle Roger, Lily’s husband.
The music continued to fill the room, reminding them with one song after another that God was sovereign. He was here and He was carrying Annalee. Holdingher, no matter what happened. While Uncle Roger cut three areas from Annalee’s hair, he told a story about getting together for a day at Lake Monroe, and how Annalee and her friends had used sticks to make Pippi Longstocking braids. “Those sticks stuck straight out to the sides of your head.” He chuckled. “And even then your hair was beautiful.”
“Sticks again.” Annalee laughed. The respite from crying felt wonderful. “Seems to be a theme.”
The sadness lifted and against the backdrop of a song about healing from heaven, Annalee took a deep breath. She looked into Tommy’s eyes and felt hope fill her heart. Yes. She could get through this. No girl had ever been surrounded by so much love.
Tommy whispered close to her face. “Remind me to get you a box of sticks later.”
