Page 46 of Truly, Madly, Deeply
He lunged for her, but before he could grab her boot, she slipped into the frigid water. “No!” Tommy’s scream echoed across the frozen lake. “Someone help!”
But no one came, no one heard. And Annalee was sinking, flailing in the freezing reservoir, and then with a final scream… she disappeared.
Tommy could see her dropping, falling far, far below the surface. He moved toward her, flung his body in her direction and before he could draw another breath he was underwater, too. The cold stung and dragged him down, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t reach Annalee.
She was sinking toward the sandy floor faster, and faster, headed to the bottom. Tommy couldn’t scream, couldn’t call out, couldn’t move. This was it. They were going to die here in the ice-cold waters of Eagle Creek Reservoir and no one would find them till spring. He pushed toward her, arched his back and reached out for her. But the distance between them only grew.
He was dying, desperate for air. And before Tommy could stop himself, he opened his mouth and breathed. Freezing water filled his lungs and his body writhed in pain. The sunlight faded to shadows and the last thing Tommy saw was Annalee. Her motionless body on the floor of the lake.
And then came a darkness like Tommy had never known before.
He squirmed and fought it, pushed through it and suddenly, miraculously he gasped and this time his lungs filled with precious, life-giving air. Warm air. And he wasn’t trapped in the frozen water beneath the ice of Eagle Creek Reservoir.
His feet kicked their way free of the sheets and blankets and he sat straight up, breathing hard, grabbing as much air as he could. What had happened? He blinked. Where was he? Sweat ran down his forehead and he looked around. What was this?
He was in bed.
The clock on his nightstand read 3:03 a.m.
Tommy leaned back against his padded headboard and closed his eyes. He ran his hands over his arms and felt his hair. Everything was dry. He wasn’t with Annalee and they weren’t falling through the ice.
The entire, terrible ordeal had only been a dream. A nightmare.
Eventually Tommy caught his breath. He eased himself back down and turned on his side. Even then the images stayed with him. The awful way he hadn’t been ableto help Annalee. The impossibility of reaching her and pulling her to the surface.
His heart raced. The dream was just like his life.
Annalee was going back to the hospital for another round of chemo. Two days from now. She was getting sicker and weaker and sinking to the bottom of the lake. God still wasn’t answering their prayers, and there was nothing Tommy could do about it.
Sleep wouldn’t come, so he did what he’d learned to do long ago in these situations. He closed his eyes and started with Matthew 11:28–30.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Over and over Tommy silently repeated the words.Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened…
Peace began to ease the tension in his muscles. Annalee wasn’t getting better, no matter how much they prayed. But God was here, now. Tommy could feel His familiar presence.If You’re here, Lord, then help Annalee. Don’t let her drown.He exhaled.Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest…
Eventually Tommy fell asleep.
When he woke it was nearly nine o’clock. Which meant his family would be downstairs having pancakes. A Saturday morning tradition in the Baxter family. Tommy dragged himself from bed and looked out the window. No snow or ice. Only blue skies as far as he could see.
He got dressed and joined his mother in the kitchen. She had just started with the scrambled eggs. “I’ll help.” He took the pancake mix and poured it in a bowl. “Where’s Dad?”
“He’ll be back soon. He got up early to help plant trees in Grandpa John’s backyard.”
“Sounds like Dad. He’s always helping someone.” Tommy grinned at his mother. “And you wonder where I get it?”
Malin and Johnny helped set the table and their dad arrived just as breakfast was served. Tommy waited till his siblings finished eating and went out back before telling his parents about the dream. “I get it. I mean… with all Annalee is going through.”
“Of course.” His dad put his fork down. “I’m sorry, Son. What a horrible night.”
“Yeah.” He took another bite of his eggs and stared out the window that overlooked their backyard. “It wasn’t even winter, but we were walking on ice… and the water was freezing cold. Which didn’t make sense. But it was as real as us sitting here.”
For a minute no one said anything. His dad broke the silence first. “How is she?”
“She has her scan Monday.” Tommy pushed his fork through his eggs. They didn’t look as good now. “A lot will depend on that. It’s complicated.”
“But… howisshe?” His mom asked the question this time. “You’ve been gone so much with school and visiting Annalee… we haven’t really talked about how she’s handling all this.”
