Page 70 of Ravaged
—North the Woodsman to Sarafina Rose, Ravaged Lands
“Like Linc needed another reason to throw a party,” Miriam mutters as a valet opens her door and she twists in the passenger seat and sets her hand in his.
She allows him to help her from the car, and I step out and hand his partner my keys. When the guy pulls off and I send up a small prayer that my vehicle is returned in the same condition I passed her off in, I extend my hand to Miriam.
“Well, the one he’s giving tonight is for my return to the team, so I’m going with it.” I give her a little tug to get her moving toward the massive front door.
Being back is ... amazing.
It was only practice, but it’s been so long since I’ve been able to get on a court, play with my team, get physical, and not feel like fucking china—being suspicious of my own body—that I’m damn near giddy.
So when Linc had announced the impromptu “get-together” in my honor in the locker room at the end of practice earlier this evening, I’d been cool with it. Since the day after tomorrow begins a three-game on-the-road series, most of the guys were fully on board too. Honestly, though, if it were up to me, I’d spend this evening and tomorrow with Miriam at home since I’ll be away from her the next few days.
And though I’ve been anxious to play again, the last few weeks off have spoiled me in terms of spending time with her. Now, my days and evenings are about to revolve around basketball, press, and traveling. With the other women I’ve dated, basketball was always the wife, and they, the mistresses. For the first time, it’s the other way around. At least in my mind and heart. The game might consume the majority of my time, but in my heart, she’s the priority. Even though I can’t tell her that or show it. Not if I don’t want her to run screaming for the hills.
But soon, that’s a risk I’m going to have to take. Not just because this relationship limbo we’re stuck in confuses the hell out of me. But also because living this half life with her—having her body but being uncertain and fearful about her heart—is doing what I told myself I would never do.
I’m settling.
If there’s a chance I can have all of Miriam, that she will have all of me, then I’m going after it. After us.
“You’re looking a little too thoughtful over there for someone who’s about to enter a den of debauchery.”
I glance down at her, grinning. “Den of debauchery? Don’t tell Linc that. He might have a banner made and strung across the front of his house.”
She snorts. “It’s sad that I agree with you.”
I draw to a halt at the top of his stairs and guide her to the side of the door just in case anyone walks up behind us.
“Answer me honestly, yeah?” She frowns but nods, and I slide my hand under her curls and cup the nape of her neck, squeezing. “Are youuncomfortable around ...?” I wave a hand toward the house behind me. “Are you okay being around them?”
Since she shared her past with me, I understand her disdain of and aversion to athletes. That she accompanied me to different parties and events awes me. With another woman, cynicism would argue she did it for her own personal and business reasons. But I’d asked her to go with me to all those places; she wouldn’t have gone on her own. She’d agreed because of me. And that kind of sacrifice, especially now that I have all the knowledge about what occurred in college, humbles me.
And gives me hope for us.
“Yes, I’m fine.” She smiles and slides her arms around my waist, tipping her head back and smiling up at me. A warmth softens her brown eyes, and breathing becomes an option. “It didn’t take long for Linc and the others to grow on me.”
“Good.” I tug her toward me, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “They love you too. You’re like a cross between their little sister who they’re protective of and their mother who has no problem giving them shit because you’re not at all impressed by them.”
“Aww.” She bats her eyelashes and splays her fingers wide over her chest. “That’s the sweetest compliment ever.”
Laughing, I wrap my arm around her neck and pull her closer—
“Hey, Jordan. Miriam. It’s good to see you again.”
I look up to see Daniel standing on the top of the stairs, staring at us. As I meet his shuttered but sharp gaze, one thought flashes through my head.
He knows.
Fuck.
Music, laughter, and loud chatter crowd Linc’s house, along with his guests. It’s more of a toned-down version than the last party I attended.But that just means there are about one hundred people here instead of three hundred. Still, it’s loud, and everyone’s having a great time.
Except me.
Guilt will do that to a person. Suck all the good time right out of him.
Goddamn.
