Page 64 of Church Girl
Wow. I shake my head, stunned. Four years? That’s not an affair; that’s a full-fledged relationship.
“How did you...?”
“Find out?” His lips curl into a smile that hurts to look at. “Her cell, of course. She guarded that muthafucka like there was a ransom on it. The phone went with her everywhere, including the bathroom when she went to take a shower. As suspect as that was, it still didn’t occur to me she was on some snake shit until Gia ended up with her phone one day, just playing with it, and Sheree lost her fucking mind. It’s one thing to be protective of the damn thing but to go off on your daughter because she handled it? Nah, that’s when I knew she was doing something. Then she slipped up one night and forgot to take it into the bathroom with her. And when her phone rang, I answered it. It was a friend of mine on the other end. And since he ain’t ever called me ‘baby,’ I figured out real quick he wasn’t looking for me.”
“That’s... Wow. I’m so sorry that happened to you. And with your friend. That’s a double betrayal.”
He crosses his arms, leaning them on the counter. “No cap, I felt like a lil’ bitch answering that phone. What’s the saying? What you go looking for you’ll find? I ain’t really give a fuck about him. We weren’t that close, but I didn’t ever expect it of her.”
Pain for him radiates through me. I didn’t even love Gregory, but discovering he’d betrayed me like that? It still would’ve hurt me. So I can’t even imagine...
“I’m sorry, Von,” I whisper again. “I’m so sorry.”
He flicks a hand as if waving off my words. “I could’ve gotten past the cheating. Or the stealing. I didn’t mention that, did I? Yeah, she stole money from me, too. We wouldn’t have stayed together because I couldn’t ever trust her again. But neither devastated me. Nah, that came when I hung up with ol’ boy and scrolled through her phone, looking for a text thread between them. That’s when I found a text from a couple of years earlier when he asked her if Gia was his.”
Oh my.God.
“What?” I rasp, grasping the edge of the bar top to keep myself from swaying right off the stool. I had to have misheard him. He didn’t...he couldn’t... “Are you saying there’s a possibility Gia’s not your biological daughter?”
A sadness so deep, so profound flashes across his face, it’s like a spasm of agony. He turns his head, glancing away from me. When he returns his gaze to me, a mask claims his features, but his eyes... His eyes tell the true story. I didn’t misread that expression.
“It’s not a possibility,” he flatly says. But before relief can make a full sweep through me, he adds, “It’s a fact. When I confronted Sheree, she confirmed it. Gia isn’t mine.”
I can’tnottouch him. Even as astonishment continues to clash inside my head, pounding against my temples, I grasp his hand again. Like when I reached out before, he stiffens, and then his behavior takes on new meaning.
You’re an amazing father.
That’s what I’d said to him, and though he hadn’t said anything in response, I can tell now that he’d physically recoiled from the praise. From “father.”
“Don’t you ever say that again,” I snap. Anger pours through me, burning away the shock.
Von’s head snaps back, and he studies me through narrowed eyes. “The hell?”
“Don’t,” I repeat, emphasizing it with a hard squeeze. “I don’t care if God Himself donated His DNA to Gia,youare her father. You provide for her, care for her, support her. But more than that, you’re her hero. You show up for her. You make her feel safe. You make her feel like the most beautiful, smartest and most loved little girl on this earth. And this isn’t something I’m guessing at—I see it every day I’m with her. You are her world. And from a person who grew up with a father in the house who wasn’t necessarily present... A father who I knew loved me but didn’t affirm me... A father whose love felt conditional on my behavior and obedience... You are a gift. You’re a gift to her and to me. I look at you and know fatherhood isn’t something to fear but to revere.”
My breath heaves out of me, and embarrassed at my outburst, I snatch my hand back. What am I doing? Well, besides crossing boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. Again. I’m making this about me, not him. Not Gia.
I’m revealing too much.
Handing him ammo to use against me later.
He’s not your father.
The fact that my inner bitch’s voice is soft and comforting when she imparts that particular nugget only deepens my shame.
“Thank you.”
The quiet, almost solemn gratefulness in his voice stops my emotional spiral. I inhale a breath and slowly exhale it.
“You’re a wonderful dad. And I don’t know the ins and outs of your divorce. But I’m assuming the court most likely had full knowledge that you’re not Gia’s biological father yet still determined you were the more appropriate choice to be the custodial parent. You have to know that’s unusual. Doesn’t matter that she was born into the marriage, the court chose you. And I bet if Gia had any idea, she would choose you over and over again.”
Slowly, he rises, rounds the breakfast bar and stops in front of me. He spins my stool until I’m facing him, and he moves in between my thighs. My voice and breath are stuck in my throat as he lifts his hands to my cheeks, cradling them.
Tipping my head back, he sweeps his thumbs over my cheekbones and brushes a gentle kiss over my forehead. “Thank you.” He presses another kiss to the bridge of my nose, directly over the freckles he often mentions. “Thank you.” Another to my cheek, right over where my dimple would be. “Thank you.”
He covers my mouth with his. And I’m helpless. I open for him, allow him inside.
No.
