Page 35 of Idol Lives
“No!” Tae Hyun spat, the word louder than he’d intended. He instantly regretted the outburst, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “I’ll do it,” he calmly added. “I’ll talk to him.”
Yun Seo smiled. “Good. Get it over with now so you can let it go.”
Tae Hyun nodded. His sister was right. Ren’s behavior was childish and unprofessional. It couldn’t continue–not with a show to put on. So Tae Hyun found him backstage, adjusting the collar of his opening stage outfit in front of a mirror. He was alone, his entourage of bandmates and stylists nowhere to be seen. Snippets of the kiss and Ren’s tearful apology flashed through his mind before he forced himself to calm down again.
“Ren.” Tae Hyun tried to keep his tone neutral, if not actually pleasant.
Ren’s head snapped up, a genuine surprise in his eyes that was quickly replaced by his signature grin. “Tae Hyun. Hey.”
“We should probably talk,” Tae Hyun suggested, his tone a little firmer. He met Ren’s gaze in the mirror, searching for any clues about what the idol was thinking but seeing none. Ren’s reflection was a carefully constructed mask. Knowing he regularly did the same thing to others didn’t make it any easier to witness.
“Everything’s fine,” Ren replied with a nonchalance that only a fellow idol would see was forced. “Really. No need to worry.”
“But I am worried. I’ve seen how you’re acting.” Tae Hyun paused to let the reality sink in. “And so have others.”
Ren’s grin slipped as he let out a frustrated sigh and shook his head. “Look, I’m doing my best, alright? I feel like shit about what I did. But I’ve been through worse, and I know I’ll put on a good show. You don’t need to worry about that.”
Tae Hyun furrowed his brow out of concern. “I know you will. I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about you.”
Ren’s grin completely vanished. “You are? Even after what I–” He paused, swallowing whatever he was about to say. “After what happened?”
Tae Hyun reached out, his hand hovering over Ren’s arm before gently resting on it. “We’re friends, right?” He trailed off, hoping for a confirmation, if not an actual return to the easy camaraderie they’d shared before the kiss. Ren eventually nodded. “Then we should put this behind us. I’m trying to move on, and so should you. Okay?”
Ren held Tae Hyun’s gaze, his expression indecipherable, for long enough that Tae Hyun’s worry began to mount. Finally, he relaxed, his lips bending into a tight smile. “I know. You’re right.”
Tae Hyun wanted to say more–to ensure they were truly okay. But there wasn’t time. He was already late for wardrobe and makeup. “Alright. I have to go. But we can talk again after, if you want.”
Ren’s smile widened, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Okay. You get going. And break a leg tonight.”
“You too,” Tae Hyun replied, a forced smile masking his lingering unease. It wasn’t the reassurance he’d hoped for, but it was something. He’d done all he could for the moment.
Tae Hyun pushed his unease aside as he settled into the makeup chair. The familiar rituals of pre-show preparations–the gentle brushstrokes against his skin, the scent of his makeup and hair product–helped him focus on his upcoming show. If Ren was going to let their encounter affect his performance, Tae Hyun knew he’d have to be flawless. He could salvage a bad show and win the audience back, but it wouldn’t be easy.
Once he was backstage, Tae Hyun watchedSweet Beast’s set from the wing. His earlier worries evaporated as he witnessed Ren’s transformation. Gone was the brooding, hesitant figurehe’d spoken to. This Ren was a force of nature, a storm of energy and charisma. The crowd responded in kind, their electric energy fueling his own. Things would be fine, after all. He smiled, relishing in his welcome relief as he joined his dancers for the final moments ofSweet Beast’s last song.
As the lift slowly descended from the stage with Ren and his bandmates, Ren caught Tae Hyun’s eye, hesitating. But then, a genuine smile–the first Tae Hyun had seen all day–broke across his face. He rushed over, an aborted hug hanging awkwardly between them.
“Hey.” Ren buzzed with nervous energy. “I’m sorry about earlier. I was all in my feelings, you know? But I feel great now!”
Tae Hyun excitedly nodded, already getting into the headspace for his turn onstage. “I saw it. You sounded great!”
Ren’s face brightened, but before he could say more, the rest ofSweet Beastswarmed him, their laughter and excited chatter filling the air.
Tae Hyun turned away. His focus was already elsewhere, shifting to his dancers, the stylist making a final adjustment, and the stage beyond. His energy soared by the time he and his dancers slowly ascended on the lift. The moment the lights hit him and the crowd’s roar blasted in his ears, Tae Hyun forgot everything but the performance. His body went on autopilot, his choreography second nature.
Tae Hyun lived to be onstage. It was his calling, a place where the messy parts of his life melted away. The pulsing lights, the sweat dripping down his face, the ache in his muscles–those were signs he was truly alive and present in the moment. He poured his heart into every song, everynote–each performance a raw and exhilarating experience. The crowd’s energy was fuel, their voices blending and washing over him, pushing him further, allowing him to lose himself in the music.
Tae Hyun was breathless by the end of his second encore, his heart pounding, exhilaration fading into a comfortable exhaustion. As he descended beneath the stage with his dancers, he relaxed from the final pose, his shoulders slumping.
Daniel slapped him on the back, brightly grinning. “Wow! You were on fire tonight. Alex would be proud.”
Tae Hyun smiled, a memory of the grueling rehearsals with his choreographer flashing through his mind. “Yeah, this was a good show.” He briefly frowned. “I wish we could’ve playedBlossom, though.” The crowd had chanted for his biggestXTChit after the first encore, but those old songs were untouchable, a casualty of his ugly split from KBR.
Mina waited as a sound tech removed his gear, her flat expression unreadable. Yun Seo stood beside her, her eyes wide with alarm and concern. Tae Hyun’s stomach twisted. Something was seriously wrong.
“What’s up?” Tae Hyun waved away the stylist fussing over his outfit. “Did somebody die?”
Mina’s lips pressed into a thin line as she shook her head. “No.” She turned to Yun Seo. “Tell him.”
