Page 73 of Don't Kross Me
He sat with her for a while, just trying to get his emotions together. The past few weeks had been nothing but dark for him. Sure, he was making more money than ever and reigned supreme in the streets of Miami by running the Zone 7 Disciples out of the city, but mentally, nothing felt right. He was still mourning Cassie day in and day out, especially whenever Aniyis longed for her. Then he was also dealing with losing Los, who had been nothing but a great friend turned brother to him. Lastly, he was left with nothing but what if’s when it came to Remedy. She was the closest thing he felt to love since he lost Cassie. It was like one moment she was here with him, then the next, she wasn’t.
Remedy breathed life into him just when he was about to throw in the towel on love. He believed wasn’t shit out there that could ever compare to what he had with Cassie, but what he shared with Remedy proved otherwise. Whether what they had was considered them just trauma bonding or filling up empty voids in their hearts, Kross didn’t give a fuck. He missed it dearly. Three months of not hearing from her and not knowing if she was dead or alive really fucked him up, but he couldn’t let that take him out. He had to stand chin up and chest out and live another day.
Once he ordered all his emotions, he said goodbye to Cassie and made his way over to Los’ grave. A chuckle streamed out of him at the sight of all the Don Julio bottles that were left for his brother. He knew this was mostly the Paper Chase boys’ doing since they knew how much their homie loved to get lit off the Don.
“Clearly I’m the only motherfucka in Paper Chase that got some fucking sense.” He shook his head in amusement as hemade some space between some of the Don Julio bottles so he could sit the roses he got Los down.
“Not gone hold you. Talking to you like this feel weird as fuck. All you fucking do is talk shit and crack jokes. This silence is gonna take a lot of getting used to,” Kross sighed deeply. “I’m sorry I ain’t tell you this enough while you were here, but I really appreciate you, Los. You’re my brother, and the same way you looked out for my family when I was locked up, I’m gone do the same for yours. Your sister Audri, her kids and your mom don’t gotta want or worry for nothing. Since you been gone, I been covering the payments for your mom’s chemo, so don’t worry. Everything been looking good with her, and Audri let me know her last session is coming up this month. I don’t want you up there stressing about nothing. We got you down here.”
Kross was big on family, so it was a no brainer for him, Ezekiel and Noonie to look out for Los’ family after he passed. He knew how important Audri and Lizette were to Los, so he put them on the same pedestal and made sure they were living comfortably, just as they would if Los were still alive.
“We took care of them Zone 7 niggas. Painted they whole spot red behind you and Cassie. When we say we got you, we mean that shit, bro. You were one of the realest niggas I had in my corner, and I will never let your name die out here. You a fucking hood legend, and Paper Chase Empire wouldn’t be where it is today without you. Love you, bro.”
This was his first time visiting Los after his funeral. It was too much grief to deal with at times, so he would just block out Los’ death. Today was the day he was strong enough to just face the music and feel everything all at once. He had to admit that it was a lot less painful than he thought. Talking to Los brought him peace, just like talking to Cassie did. After saying goodbye to his homie, he looked down at the last set of roses he had in his hand. He walked the cemetery until he was met with Deno’s grave. Hehadn’t had a visit in three months now, and it showed just from how brittle and withered the roses Remedy left him during her last visit three months ago were.
Kross had been keeping in close touch with Melo during these past three months. Just liked him, Melo experienced back-to-back losses. First the sudden death of his father Deno, then the disappearance of Remedy. That was a lot for a sixteen-year-old kid to carry all while dealing with his mother’s mental state deteriorating. Keeping him close was something Kross knew Remedy would have wanted. He needed someone to look out for him while she was gone. Whenever Kross would take Melo out to play ball with him and Aniyis or just to pick up some shoes from the mall, they talked about Deno and Remedy often.
Melo still couldn’t find it in him to visit his father’s grave. That pain was just too much for him, so he communicated with his father through journaling. It was surprising that he was so comfortable confiding in Kross about his feelings, which was something he never did with Remedy. Not that he didn’t trust his sister, but he just felt like Kross understood him more. He saw things from a man’s perspective.
Melo was still keeping faith that Remedy was somewhere alive and hopefully well. He knew his sister. She was a fighter, and she wasn’t going to allow Tone to take her life away from her. The topic of Remedy was a super sore one for Kross. He never made any claims about believing whether Remedy was dead or alive. He wanted her to be alive, but he was leaving it all up to God.
He sat the roses down for Deno before pushing away all the dead weeds and brittle petals that littered his headstone.
“This shit probably awkward as hell,” Kross chuckled with a shake of his head. “I know I probably wasn’t your favorite person, especially when I was collecting paper from you, but I did respect you. You stood on morals and principle more thananything. No matter how many times I tried to get you to fall into the life of making fast money, you stood tall on your beliefs and shut me down every time. You were one of the few real niggas we had left out in the city, and I’m sorry if I caused you any stress during your life while you were pushing money my way. I got the blessing of getting to know your daughter and looking out for your son and wife. They’re some good people, and I shouldn’t have expected any less since you were a good guy. Your kids and your wife talk about you with so much respect and admiration, I aspire to be that way for my son.”
He let out a short sigh before continuing. “Remedy was a light during one of the darkest times in my life. Now that I haven’t heard from her in three months, the pain that I’m feeling is making me realize that I really loved shawty. I’m hoping and praying that she has a safe return home, but in the meantime, I’m gonna try to get Melo’s hardheaded ass out here to holla at you.”
Kross knew Deno would have preferred either Melo, Remedy or even Ava to visit him, but he just wanted to show up for him for Remedy’s sake. He knew how much her father meant to her, so him doing this would’ve meant the world to her. He gave Deno a proper goodbye before leaving the cemetery. Paying his respects to everyone he lost in his life was emotionally draining most of the time, but today, it replenished him. He was getting back to himself after three months of spiraling, and it felt good.
From the cemetery, he headed straight to Remedy’s shop. He felt obligated to keep it open and take care of it for Remedy. He didn’t mind it all. It wasn’t until last month that Kross got all the barbers used to him coming around instead of Remedy. Her disappearance struck the news, so the whole city was aware that she was missing. Kross was glad that Remedy’s employees found out about her vanishing through the news instead of him because he honestly wouldn’t have been able to deal with thenumber of questions they would’ve had for him. He dealt with getting interrogated by the Feds. He didn’t have it in him to answer questions from anybody else.
It was like an unspoken rule not to mention anything about Remedy in the shop while Kross was there. The barbers were able to put two and two together and figured out that Kross and Remedy had been seeing each other at the time she disappeared, which was why Kross shut down whenever they mentioned her. He was hurting. He just didn’t know how to express it, especially in the midst of a situation that was so fresh like the one he had with Remedy.
Upon entering the shop, he was pleased to see that business was booming. Over the last three months, he turned it up a notch at the barbershop with a few renovations Remedy had noted on her desk as just ideas. He turned them into reality for her, hoping that if she did return, she would be surprised by them.
“What’s good Kross? You getting a cut?” He was greeted at the door by Pierre, who had been doing a great job filling in for Remedy.
Kross dapped him up while shaking his head. “Nah. I’ll slide through this Friday with Aniyis and Melo,” he assured him.
“Bet.” Pierre nodded. “We got some electric issues in the guest bathroom. Wanted to know if you could have somebody take a look.”
“Fa’sho. I’ll have somebody out here by the end of the week. Everything else good?”
“Yeah. We’re surviving. Still ain’t heard from her?” Pierre asked, referring to Remedy.
Kross shook his head. “Nah. But we gone keep the shop going for her. I just came through to tap in. Hit my line if you need anything.” He said his goodbyes to Pierre and the rest of the barbers in the shop. Just as quick as he came, he left.
Kross was procrastinating a little bit because he knew if he headed home, he would have to continue packing up the condo for his move. He managed to pack up all of Aniyis’ room, along with the furniture in the living room. What he was dreading was Cassie’s things. He didn’t really know what to do with them. In the meantime, he decided to just set them up in a storage nearby. Instead of heading to the condo, he headed to his mother’s house. Lately, being around family had been the only thing that kept him sane.
He was grateful to have restored his relationship with his mother because if he didn’t have her, he didn’t know what he would’ve been doing when it came to Aniyis half the time. When he pulled up, he noticed Ezekiel’s Lambo was parked out front. He made his way to the door, and his knocks were answered by Melo. A chuckle drifted out of Kross as he dapped Melo up.
“What you doing here, jit?”
“Andres made me and my mom come to church for Mother’s Day. Your mom said she was cooking after their service, and I ain’t turning down no free food,” he told Kross while rubbing his stomach.
“I feel you. But who casket sharp suit you got on?” Kross clowned while pinching the material of Melo’s starched slacks.
Melo smacked his lips. “Andres got me right. I’m clean as hell.” He did a spin, allowing Kross to see the ensemble to its full entirety, prompting him to double over in laughter. “Nigga, you hating.”
