Page 68 of Host for the Holidays
I’m speechless. I have no words. Not in English. Not in French. And definitely not in Italian. This doesn’t feel like a glass door. In fact, it feels almost like the glass door just slid open a bit. If Madi feels she has to apologize, does that mean her holding my handwasn’tjust for friendly support?
No.
That’s dumb. It’s called projecting.
It’s entirely possible, in fact, that this is her way of kindly putting me in my place. Maybe she knows it wasn’t just friendly on my end, and she doesn’t want to be rude by telling me to step off, so she’s reminding me of whatever she thinks I owe Élise.
“Madi,” I say, rubbing my chin as I try to figure out how to handle this without putting my foot in my mouth or sliding the glass door shut. “There’s nothing going on between Élise and me.”
Her eyes lock on mine. “Really?”
“Really. You don’t need to worry about that at all.” I frown. “What made you think that, anyway?”
She shrugs. “She was being a bit . . . possessive of you or something this morning. Or maybe I was just seeing things. But it made sense to me that there might be something between the two of you. I mean, she seems pretty perfect.”
The corner of my lip pulls up. “After the three minutes you spent with her?”
My comment elicits a little smile that expands the balloon in my chest because even the fact that Madi was paying attention to this stuff feels significant.
“I mean, yeah. Plus, she seemed kind of into you, so . . .” Her brows pull together. “Whyaren’tyou together?”
I chew on my lip for a second. “We liked each other on and off over the years, but the timing never matched up. The point is, you don’t need to worry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Oh.”
“Anyway, it should bemeapologizing.”
“Why?”
“I doubt Josh would be too excited about me holding your hand.” I’m not even sure what Madi feels about it herself. She tried to take her hand back the first time, and I held it tighter to make sure she knew I was okay with it. Looking back, that was probably not what she was worried about.
“Actually . . .” Madi shifts her weight and looks down, tapping a thumb on her camera bag. “I broke up with Josh today.”
For the second time in a matter of minutes, I’m fresh out of words.
Madi was supposed to come home tonight an engaged woman. Instead she’s single. And she broke up withhim.There’s so much to unpack in that, so many questions it brings up.
But now is probably not the time. Especially because I’m just sitting like a fool with my mouth open.
“Anyway,” she says, tossing it aside like leftovers that’ve been in the fridge too long, “I just don’t want you to feel bad for . . . helping me. You spent your Saturday night with me, and I’m sure you could have been doing a dozen other things—including hanging out with your friends like you had planned.”
“About that . . .” I say slowly. “I didn’t really have plans with friends. I just felt dumb that I was going to spend my Saturday night grading homework.”
“Oh,” she says, looking at me like she’s not sure what to make of it.
I’m trying to balance all sorts of reactions right now: relief on Madi’s behalf, sympathy for what she must be feeling, and, stupidly, hope on my own behalf. Hope for what? She’s single, yeah, but she’s still just a temporary presence in my life.
“Are you . . . okay?” I ask.
Her brows pull together. “Weirdly, yes.”
I nod, trying not to read into that.Save it for later, Rémy. “Okay, well, if you need anything—chocolate, a shoulder, more Finger Lickin’ Chicken, whatever—you know where to find me.”
She smiles. “I may take you up on that chocolate. Might need a few days before I venture to FLC again. But you’ve already helped by keeping me company and making sure I did the things I wanted to do. So thank you.”
“Anytime.” And I mean that more than she knows.
There’s another little pause as we both look at each other, and I’m trying really hard not to let everything I’ve been repressing over the past week play front and center in my mind. Okay, so I haven’t been so great at the repressing part, but I’ve been trying, and that has to count for something.
