Page 82 of Host for the Holidays
“Me too.”
THIRTY-FOUR
MADI
Operation:Just Friends goes more smoothly than I had anticipated. Overall, at least. There are . . . moments, though, when failure looms on the horizon.
It is a frigid day, first of all, which makes snuggling up to someone all the more tempting.
Secondly, four or five times, one or the other of us says “Line!” seemingly out of nowhere to signal that something is making it harder to keep the boundaries we’ve set. In retrospect, I’m not sure calling attention to those things is actually serving our best interests, since whenever Rémy says it, I just want to do the thing more.
Thirdly, I donotmanage to keep from laughing. Far from it. But I don’t feel too bad about it because it’s Rémy’s fault I’m laughing so much and also, friends laugh together. Otherwise, what is even the point?
Our day consists of a visit to Luxembourg Gardens and the Jardin des Plantes. They’re not as vibrant as they’d be in summer, according to Rémy, but I love them all the same. After that, we’ve had enough of the cold to opt for an indoor activity, which takes us (via metro withno hand holding, I might add) to see the Sainte Chapelle and the Conciergerie, which are an absolute feast for the eyes.
When Rémy takes my camera in hand and insists on taking some photos of me inside with super tricky lighting, I almost jump off the friend ship altogether.
We’re warm enough—and hungry enough—after that to make our way to the Christmas market at Notre Dame.
“What sounds good?” Rémy asks as we stroll past the offerings.
“Raclette again,” I say. “And another crepe.”
He looks over at me with a smile that’s made me consider yelling out, “Line!” about seventy times today. It doesn’t seem fair to tell him he can’t smile, though, so I’ve refrained.
“You are a creature of habit, aren’t you?” he says.
“What?!” I pretend to be offended. “I’m the very definition of spontaneous and adventu—okay, what gave me away? Is it the baguette and Camembert for breakfast every day? That’syourfault, you know. I was perfectly content with my Kraft singles and Wonder Bread.”
“Kraft singles?” he asks with a furrowed brow.
“Don’t ask. They’d obliterate your opinion of America. Same with Cheese Whiz. Though, if you like Finger Lickin’ Chicken . . .”
He bumps me with his arm, making me stumble a bit to the side.
“Line,” we say simultaneously.
I laugh, and he says, “Line” again, but I can tell he’s half-teasing, and that makes me blush. This is one of those moments where I think we’re not doing nearly as well at this mission as we had hoped. Once you’ve crossed a bridge like this with someone, it’s really hard to walk backwards over it and pretend it doesn’t exist. You can ignore it, sure, but you find yourself using stepping stones to get you right back to the other side.
My phone buzzes with a notification—a private message on Instagram from a name I don’t recognize. I scan it quickly, expecting one of the spam messages I get. But it’s not. It’s a girl named Linnae asking if I’m available to take pictures for her in a few days. She’s offering $500, which is quite a bit more than I charge for a couples’ session. It’s simultaneously flattering and unfortunate, since I could sure use $500.
Madi:I’m actually in Paris right now, or else I would love to! If you still need someone when I get back, I’d be more than happy to schedule something with you.
I start to exit the app, but she’s already typing back.
Linnae:I’m in Paris too! I was hoping you’d be able to do it here. Like you did for Laura.
“What is it?” Rémy asks, watching my reaction.
“Someone saw the picture I took of Laura and Luke, and she wants me to take pictures of her and her boyfriend. Here in Paris. For $500.”
“That’s amazing,” Rémy says. “I mean, it’s no surprise . . .”
“It is tome.” I twist my mouth to the side, looking at Linnae’s message. “I feel like I should decline. Anyone offering that much money is expecting more than I can safely promise.”
Rémy takes me by the shoulders and looks straight into my eyes. “I’ve seen the pictures you take, Madi. You are worth every penny of that and more. If you don’t want to do it, don’t. But if all that’s keeping you from saying yes is fear? You’ve shown that you’re more than capable of conquering those over the last few days.”
Keeping my eyes on him, I nod silently. He believes in me more than I believe in myself, and it makes me want to see myself as he sees me.
