Page 38 of Host for the Holidays
MADI
Josh makeshimself comfortable on the couch—his usual spot—and grabs the remote. We might as well be at his apartment right now. I mean, his apartment is definitely nicer than this Airbnb, but still.
This place has grown on me a bit, but it’s no Eiffel Tower. If Josh proposes to me here with Netflix playing in the background, I might lose it.
Rémy retreated into his room pretty quickly after we came upstairs. In a way, I’m jealous of him. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this frustrated with Josh. Has he always been this way? Is it me who’s different right now? Or is he being more aggravating than usual?
He picksParks and Rec—again. He’s never really noticed that he’s the only one laughing most of the time. But at least at home, he stays awake.
I don’t want to compare Josh to Rémy, but I’m finding it really hard not to. Rémy’s got a job, just like Josh does. I’m sure he’s tired—it can’t be easy spending the better part of each day with hormonal adolescents more interested in pushing boundaries than in learning English. And yet, he’s gone way out of his way to make me comfortable. This is a guy I’ve known a few days.
I’m not being fair, I know. Josh is here for work, and I should be more understanding of his situation. I also shouldn’t let my anger simmer without letting him know what’s on my mind.
When he starts to nod off during the second episode, I can’t take it anymore.
I grab the remote and pause the show. “Josh.”
His eyes are closed. “Hm?”
“Can we talk for a minute?”
His eyes open slowly, and he looks over at me, stifling a yawn. “Yeah, what’s up?”
I don’t speak right away because now that he’s waiting, I’m feeling hesitant. Am I just being a big baby about all of this? Am I an overly indulged brat who just wants all the attention on her? Sometimes I’ve wondered if Josh thinks of me like one of his business deals. Hehateswhen his clients jump ship. What if that’s what makes him hold on to me, too—a phobia of failing—rather than any real desire to marry me?
My silence seems to rouse him a bit more. He sits up, sensing this is serious, then grabs my hand. “Are you mad because of the elevator thing?”
“No,” I hurry to say. I mean, yes, I’m annoyed about that, but let’s tackle one thing at a time, right? I sigh. “It’s just . . . we talked about how things were gonna go when we came to Paris, and”—I press my lips together—“it’s just not really happening that way.”
He strokes my hand. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been way busier than I thought I would be.”
I shake my head. “I knew you’d be busy during the day. Well, except for lunch, but I thought for sure we’d be able to spend time together once you were off.”
“Wehavebeen.”
“I mean, yes, technically we have. You put on Netflix and fall asleep next to me. That’s not really what we talked about, though, Josh. I mean, tonight, I went to the Louvre courtyard, and it was amazing—better than I could have imagined. But you weren’t there, and I thought we’d be sharing those places and moments together.” Now that I’m expressing my feelings, they’re all coming to the surface like an overflowing toilet. I can’t stop them. “And then, I haven’t wanted to bother you with it, but you haven’t said anything about me meeting Dan Vincent yet, and you said he’s leaving on the 20th, which means there’s not much time left for me to talk to him. And—”
Josh puts up a hand to stop me. He sits up straighter, facing toward me more. “I know. It’s been crazy, and I’m sorry I’ve been so flaky.” He smiles at me warmly. “But it’s the weekend now, which means we can do everything you want. I’ve got lunch set up with Dan tomorrow to discuss the potential of a job for you, and afterward, we’ll go to the Eiffel Tower like you’ve been wanting to do. We can just look at it from the bottom so you don’t have to go up to the top. And after that, we can go on a romantic boat cruise on the river with the whole city lit up and the reflection of the Eiffel Tower on the water.”
My frustrations start to fizzle under his reassurances and the vision he’s painting of this weekend. Hedidarrange a meeting with Dan about the job. He just didn’t tell me. I should have asked him sooner and spared myself this building frustration.
I smile sheepishly, feeling like the toddler who had a tantrum again. I just needed to have a little patience. It seems like Josh has really thought through tomorrow, and that realization sets off a batch of fireworks inside me.
What if he’s planning to propose? It would make sense, given that he knows how much I’ve been looking forward to the Eiffel Tower.
Excitement, hope, and nerves mix around inside my stomach, and I can’t tell which one is going to win out, but it feels like it might be the nerves.
It’s almost like now that it’s within reach, I’m not ready for it.
“I’ll make up for it all, Mads,” he says with a little enigmatic look that hasit’s going down tomorrowwritten all over it. “Trust me. Does that sound good?”
I nod a bunch of times and smile. “It sounds perfect.”
EIGHTEEN
RÉMY
I’ve stayedin my room as long as I possibly can, but my eyes are starting to droop as I try to focus on the words in the book I’m reading. I wanted to give Madi and Josh their privacy—okay, let’s be honest, if it were up to me, I’d probably stand next to the TV, monitoring them to make sure no funny business happened—but usually Josh is gone by now, and I need to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.
