Page 75 of Kissing for Keeps
Now?
I blow a breath through my lips. I know her so much better, and I want her so much more. It’s not a question of whether I’d regret not giving things a chance with Siena. It’s a question of how long that regret would last.
But Madi… she’s been so much more affectionate with me this week. It’s been amazing to feel the camaraderie and appreciation. But inside, I’ve been feeling like a steaming pile of turds because I’m not being completely honest with her. My new World’s Best Brother title is a complete sham. And I don’t want it to be.
26
SIENA
These past fewdays have been a doozy. I’m exhausted, I’m stressed, and I’m sad, not to mention the quickly approaching problem of how I’ll support myself once I get home. I have an untouched email in my inbox from Richard Harrison, the guy who beat Amy Stewart in the election. I can’t bring myself to look at it yet. There’s just too much going on, and I have an irrational fear that the email will be full of gloating or him thanking me for handing him the election on a silver platter.
The wedding stress isn’t strictly necessary. Things are all coming together better than I could have imagined, despite the fact that I’ve delegated a lot of the tasks. I don’t know what I was thinking, telling Madi I could handle it all. The help I’ve gotten from her, Rémy, and Jack has been crucial. I shudder to think what would be happening if I had been here alone until now. Or worse—if I hadn’t changed my flight and had been trying to organize it all from home.
In that way, losing the election was for the best. But since it also destroyed my only means of earning an income until I find a new job, the jury’s still out on whether it’s a net negative or positive. My degree in political science has only fit me for specific jobs, and campaign management was always my plan. Now I’m not so sure.
Before heading out for the bachelorette party, I shoot off a couple of resumes for online job postings. They don’t really look interesting, but I’m not in a position to be picky.
I shut my laptop, grab my purse, and rub on some lipstick before heading out the door. I’ve got to let go of my stress tonight. It’s my job to make sure this party is everything it should be: a celebration of Madi’s future and the wonderful friendship we’ve enjoyed with her.
I clench my eyes shut. I’m a massive fraud of a friend. Not just because of what I’ve been keeping from Madi, though, believe me, that’s been eating away at me. The thing that makes me feel worse? The number of times I’ve been tempted to just go for it with Jack. How terrible does that make me?
I don’t even want to know, but watching him work so hard for the wedding these past few days has not helped my case against him. I know it’s for Madi, but part of me also wants to believe it’s a little for me, too. It’s like I’m hoping to see signs that Jack’s not just all about fun and games, because maybe that would mean…
No.
I can’t even go there. Especially not tonight.
I sneak a peek in my parents’ rental car and am relieved to see that Tori isn’t still sleeping in there. I might have lost my mind if she was.
“Looking for me?”
I turn and find Tori approaching. She’s shed her crumpled hoodie, crazy blonde hair, and baggy eyes for a little black dress and sleek waves.
“You clean up nice,” I say.
“Amazing what a cat nap can do.”
“I don’t think three hours qualifies as a cat nap, Tor.”
She scoffs as she comes in for a hug. “Have you ever met a cat? They can sleep for ages.”
She’s got a point.
“I can’t believe you’ve been here as long as you have,” she says as we pull away. “How’s it been?”
The words are innocuous, but the look she gives me as she says them is anything but.
“Fine.” I glance at the chateau for any sign of Madi and the others, hoping to fend off a discussion I really don’t want to have right now. Two of our old roommates arrived a couple hours after the Sheppards, making us a party of five tonight.
“Fine?”
I can actuallyhearhow high Tori’s eyebrows are. “Yeah. Fine.”
“Oh my gosh. You guys kissed again, didn’t you?”
“Tori,” I hiss, looking around like Madi might pop out of the trunk or a nearby tree at any moment.
Tori’s brows inch up even higher, and she hisses right back, “Oh my gosh, you kissed him! I was totally joking when I said that. You little dog!”
