Page 88 of Kissing for Keeps
“I’m just… I’m so sorry, Madi. I’ve messed up your wedding when that’s the last thing I wanted to do.”
She swallows but doesn’t say a word, and I think it’s partially because she can’t talk without bursting into tears. I’m instantly reminded of the past and how terrible it was knowing I’d ruined her closest friendships. It wasn’t something I did intentionally, but to her, I’m sure it seemed like I was wreaking havoc in her life just for the fun of it. It can’t have felt good to have the people she thought she could count on, the ones she thought truly cared about her, ditch her the moment I was out of the picture.
“I understand if you’d rather have Rémy’s dad walk you down the aisle today.”
She looks down. “I’m not sure what I want. I need some time to process things.”
I want to explain more, to say something that will set everything right. But that’s the problem with making dumb mistakes in your past. They follow you into the present and even shape your future.
So, I just nod and leave.
32
SIENA
There’senough chaos trying to get things arranged with the caterers and finishing up with the decorations that there’s barely any time to think about the absolute disaster the wedding has suddenly become. Not on paper—on paper, things are coming together as beautifully as I had envisioned. The lack of band is a black spot on the otherwise pristine planning, but I’ve had to accept that it’s just how it’s going to be. Madi accepted the hiccup with calm; so should I.
But the emotional state of the wedding?
I can’t even think about it without feeling nauseated, and yet, the schedule dictates that it’s time to help Madi get ready in fifteen minutes. It’ll be the bridal party and Madi’s mom in the room with her. It’s supposed to be a joyful experience, making her shine for the ceremony and celebrating this massive milestone in her life with the women who have loved her the most.
But it won’t be, because I’m a terrible, terrible friend. Not even the most out-of-this-world reception could make up for that. I don’t know what Jack said to her, but I have to talk to her myself.
If I go now, I might have enough time to tell her how sorry I am before the others arrive, so I take in a deep breath and make my way to her room. On the way, I choose the text thread with Amy Stewart with my trembling fingers and compose a message telling her about the email I got from Richard Harrison. Before I can overthink it, I press send. I want to be upfront with her about things, and if it bothers her at all, I’ll reject Richard outright. Thankfully, I know Amy enough to tell how she feels.
The more I’ve thought about the job, though, the more I want it. I want another opportunity to do things right, to learn from my mistakes. But I don’t know if I deserve to have the things I want. Lots of people don’t get what they want. Why should I be special?
Rémy opens the door, and the sympathetic expression on his face when he sees me tells me he knows. He knows, but somehow he’s not shooting fiery darts at me with his eyes.
He glances at Madi over his shoulder.
“Come in,” he says, swinging the door wider to let me in. He goes over to Madi, brushes her hair behind her ear, and says something softly to her in French. He dips his head to kiss her, soft and long. She’s really,reallylucky to have him.
“I’ll see you at the end of the aisle,mon coeur,” he says, and then he leaves us alone.
The door shuts behind him, and the silence is deafening.
“Hey,” Madi finally says with a valiant attempt at a smile. If I didn’t know her so well, I might be convinced that everything is okay. But I’ve known Madison Allred for seven years. Not just known her. We’ve been roommates and best friends the majority of that time. Iknowher, and she’s hurting.
“Hey,” I say, and I can already feel the tears prickling behind my eyes because this moment is so far from how I had imagined this day going. “Madi… I…” I swallow as hard as I can to push down the rising emotion. “I’m so sorry. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was ruin your wedding day.” My voice breaks on the last word, like a twelve-year-old boy’s. “I never meant to jeopardize our friendship—it’s one of the most important things to me in the world.”
“I know,” she says softly, taking a seat on the end of the bed.
I take a few steps toward her, unsure how she’s feeling right now and if she’s wishing me gone.
“Why didn’t you tell me? That’s what I don’t understand.”
I sit beside her and sigh. “Do you remember the party I went to the first week we met? It was a Friday night, and you had photography club, so I went alone.”
“Yeah,” she says, her tone confused by this apparently unrelated segue. Then a question forms in her eyes. “Jack was there?”
I nod. “I didn’t know he was your brother, though. I swear I didn’t, Madi.”
“I believe you.”
I sigh with relief. “Anyway, we got to talking, and he was really the only friend I made there. Then his gross roommate wanted to play spin the bottle.”
She smiles slightly. “Brad? He would.”
