Page 55 of Just Friends Forever
“Join on in,” I say, grabbing my shirt from the weight rack and pulling it over my head. Ever since Stevie’s outburst about how often I’m without a shirt, I keep one nearby during my workouts. I can’t compare with those doctored abs from the TMZ picture. Maybe I should sue them for false advertisement. Any girl I date going forward will feel misled when she sees the real ones, but giving up Magic Shell isn’t worth it to me.
“Leg day?” Stevie asks.
“Yes, ma’am. But you can do whatever you want, obviously.”
“I’ll just follow along with you, if that’s okay.”
I force my eyes to stay forward, but you know what’s amazing? How you can look straight ahead while being entirely focused on what’s in the corner of your eye.
Stevie is lean, but she’s strong. Not like that’s news to me. She was on the soccer team in high school, and I watched most of her games.
“Can I ask you something?” she says between sets.
“Of course.” My heart immediately catapults into my throat as I use a towel to wipe the sweat from my brow. That’s the fun of having a guilty conscience. It immediately assumes the game’s up and your lie is about to be exposed to the world.
“Do you think it’s too soon for me to date?”
The towel slows on my brow. Stevie wantsmyadvice about whether she should start dating. How do I even answer that question?
Yes. It’s way too soon to date. We should stay in this weird, partially locked down, platonic housemate situation indefinitely.
Or maybe,No. It’s not too soon to date. In fact, you should dateme. I know you’ve never seen me that way and you’d rather admire a hose attachment than me, but please give me a chance.
“No,” I force out. “Of course not. Doyouthink it’s too soon?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know.” She blows out a breath. “I mean, it’s not like I’m hung up on Curtis, and clearly,he’snot holding back. So…”
I nod slowly. So, she’s not pining over Curtis. I didn’t really think she was. She hasn’t given the vibes of someone in the throes of deep heartache, but still. They were married, and she made it sound like he was the one wanting to part ways. That can’t be an easy pill to swallow.
I look her in the eye. “You should do whatyouwant to do, Stevie. If going out sounds fun to you, do it. You’ve been holed up in this house for too long, and before that, you were holed up for even longer.”
“I know,” she says, running a finger along the edge of one of the ten-pound weights. “I guess I’m just nervous. A lot about dating has changed, and I guess it feels like the stakes are a lot higher now that I know how things can end.”
I pause before answering. “You mean divorce?”
She nods, her focus pinned on the weight. “Even if I found someone I wanted to have a serious relationship with, who’s to say it would turn out any differently?”
It would unless you choose another idiot.
“No one goes into a relationship or marriage anticipating it will end badly,” she says, “so how can you trust it’s really going to last?”
It kills me Stevie is worried about this, that Curtis treated her in a way that’s made her doubt she can find someone to love her forever.
It also kills me I’m giving Stevie advice for how to choose her next husband. But if I want to call myself a true friend, it means supporting her in what makes her happy.
“I’m no expert, obviously, but I don’t think it’s chance when love lasts, Stevie. It’s intentional. You find someone who has proven love is their priority, that they’re committed to the work a relationship entails.”
She holds my gaze, and I keep in the words I want to say.Pick me.I’ve loved you as long as I’ve known you.
“And if I choose wrong,” she says, “you’ll tell me, right?”
I swallow, then nod. “You bet your bottom dollar.” And I mean it. This time, if I see her falling for someone who I don’t think will take care of her, I’ll tell her like I should have done the first time.
She smiles gratefully. “You really are the best friend anyone could ask for. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” She wraps her arms around me, and I hold her close. With each breath I take, I commit to doing whatever it means to embrace that role in her life. Best friend.
Just a friend.
Her phone goes off nearby, and she pulls away.
