Page 2 of Just Friends Forever
Soon, we’re swallowed up in the crowds, chatting with friends—last opportunities to see many of them as people head to different colleges, universities, and jobs. Stevie and I are both heading to the same school, thankfully. I can’t imagine doing college without her. Icanimagine, however, walking around campus with my arm around her, meeting up between classes to hang out on the lawn.
“Welcome, everyone,” comes the voice of our class president, Jamie, over the loudspeaker, “to the night you’ve all been waiting for!”
The crowds go wild with clapping, whistles, and cheers, and my gaze flits to Stevie, standing next to four of her girlfriends a few feet away from me. Everyone loves Stevie, which makes me feel extra grateful I somehow get to be her best friend. If only I were content with just that. A rush of nerves cycles through me again. I need to know whether I have a chance with her, though, or I’ll go crazy.
“We really want you to enjoy yourselves tonight,” says Jamie, “so we’ve provided food, drinks, swimming, and music. But not just any music…”
The crowd is silent as we wait for the punchline, and my eyes scan the music equipment for any sign of who the DJ might be. We had a pretty good one for senior prom, but it’s not like I’d recognize his name.
Jamie lets the suspense last a few seconds longer. “Sunset Heights Class of 2015, please welcome our very own…Austin Sheppard!”
My jaw slips open and my stomach drops as my brother runs out between the sound equipment, waving and smiling at the cheering crowd. My gaze flicks to Stevie, who’s jumping up and down with the girls around her, as if it was Bruno Mars running onstage instead of my older brother.
Austin’s familiar voice comes over the speaker, and I try to smile and laugh as my friends elbow me and make comments about him. Austin is a really talented guy and super good-looking, something recognized by every single girl at Sunset Heights with a beating heart. Chief among those girls is Stevie—unless I’m wrong and all the other girls havealsowritten in their diaries about visions of standing backstage to cheer for Austin at sold out arenas as he plays songs written with them as inspiration.
It’s been a couple years since I got that very unwelcome eyeful at Stevie’s house, and I hope she’s grown out of wanting those things.
Watching her sing along to Austin’s songs is giving me doubts, though. Some people are slow-dancing, some are clustered around the food and drinks, and a lot are in the pool. It’s starting to get dark, and I realize I don’t have all the time in the world to do what I promised myself I’d do tonight. I can’t very well go up to her in front of her friends and confess my feelings, though. I’m pathetic, but notthatpathetic.
My luck seems to be in, however, when Austin takes a break and Stevie comes over to me.
“No wonder your mom was being so cryptic,” she says, her cheeks pink and her mouth stretched in a huge smile. “You really didn’t know?”
“I really and truly didn’t,” I say, forcing my teeth to unclench so I can fake a smile. Trust Austin to appear when I least want him around. I wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to materialize in front of me in the very moment I’m telling Stevie how I feel about her.
“Oh, he’s starting again already,” Stevie says, turning toward the stage. The music to one of his ballads starts up, and she claps. “Ilovethis one!”
I sigh. “Me too.” When I said I hoped the band would provide some fitting music for my plans, I hadn’t really been imagining Austin as the provider of that music. I guess that’s my bad. I’m just not imaginative enough.
Stevie sways, bumping into me as she sings with the music. I debate whether to slip my arm around her like I want to and join the swaying. What would she do? It’s not like I’ve never had my arm around her, but it’s always been in a friendly way and never to the tune of a love song.
I blow a quiet breath through my lips as my nerves ramp up. Maybe I shouldn’t tell her tonight. Maybe the cards are stacked against me.
I steal a glance at her from the corner of my eye—at the blue of her eyes, the black of her lashes, and the pink of her lips, which are pulled into a contented smile. She’s fun, she’s kind, she loves my family, she knows everything about me and still likes me.
Well, she doesn’t know everything…
And guess what? She neverwillknow if I don’t tell her. I’ve felt this way for years without saying anything. I could feasibly keep putting it off forever.
But I don’t want to. I don’t want to feel this way—wishing and wondering and hoping—if there’s any chance at all something could happen with us. I just have to do it. To go for it.
“Stevie?” I say quietly, the sound drowned out by the thudding of my heart.
“Hm?” She sways subtly to the sound of Austin’s voice.
“Can I talk to you real quick?”Real quick? Like I want to ask her what size shoe she wears. I wouldn’t do that, because I already know she wears a 7.5.
Her gaze turns to me, her smile faltering as she realizes this is serious. “Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, just…” I look around. The only people nearby are a few feet away, not close enough to hear us, but if this moment goes well, I don’t really want to share it with the whole crowd. I don’t want to share it with them if it goes badly, either, come to think of it.
“Can we go over there for a sec?” I indicate a place on the lawn in the shadow of a sprawling oak tree.
She nods, and as we walk toward the tree, she glances up at me. I smile, and it feels weird because even my lips are shaking. How do you kiss a girl when your body is shaking enough to register on the Richter scale? Also, how have I been thinking about doing this for years, and yet I still don’t know what the heck to say?
“What’s up?” she asks when we finally reach the big, gnarled trunk. The way she’s looking at me, I can tell she’s worried. Maybe she thinks I overdid it on the hot sauce and need to go home—wouldn’t be the first time. Maybe I should say that instead of what I want to say. It’s a lot less risky.
No.
