Page 90 of Just Friends Forever
“I just hate bringing you guys into this,” she says. “But that’s not it…” She taps her phone a couple of times, then shakes her head and sets it down on the couch. “I’ll just tell you. I don’t need to give the stories more traffic.”
“Tell me what?”
“Curtis and Aria are having a baby.”
My eyebrows rise. The story about them spending time together only came out a week ago. They’re already pregnant? Or maybe they’vebeenpregnant.
I watch Stevie carefully, noting the hurt in her red eyes. This must be stirring up all her old feelings for Curtis. How couldn’t it? When I asked her about the divorce, she mentioned Curtis not wanting a family. It’s got to sting pretty badly to see him starting one so soon with someone else.
I grab her hand and squeeze it, even though I’m hurting inside too. If Stevie’s not really over Curtis, we’re not even close to her figuring out whetherweshould be together.
“I’m sorry, Stevie. That’s got to hurt like crazy.”
She looks down and shakes her head. “It’s not that, Troy. I mean, yes, it doesn’t feel great to see him having a baby with her when he refused to with me.”
“I always knew he was an idiot,” I say.
She smiles sadly, but it fades right away. “I did everything I could to make my marriage to Curtis work. Even when he was done, I tried. I bargained, I begged… I made a fool of myself trying to save things and not end up divorced in my twenties like my mom. But it failed anyway. In the end, nothing I did mattered.”
I turn toward her and take one of her hands between both of mine. “And you know what that tells me, Stevie?”
“How pathetic I am?”
I shake my head and tuck her dark hair behind her ear. “How amazing you are. It tells me you fight for what you want, that you don’t give up when things get hard.”
“And what does it say about me that Curtiswouldn’tfight for it?”
“Nothing. It literally says nothing at all about you. It tells me he’s used to things coming to him easily.”
She looks up at me, swallowing hard. “Maybe you’re right. But I’m scared, Troy. Scared of things ending between us like they did between Curtis and me. I’m scared it won’t matter what I do. I’m worried that I’m too much like my mom and can’t make a marriage work.”
Marriage. She’s talking about marrying me. Well, she’s talking about marriage to menotworking, which is a little different, but still. It makes my heart twist and tug to know she’s even thinking about us in that way.
“Stevie,” I say after a minute. “Look, I love your mom. She’s a party. A really weird party, but a party nonetheless.”
She gives a watery laugh and traces my knuckles with her other hand.
“But you two areverydifferent people,” I continue. “I’d be hard pressed to tell you anything you have in common that’s not related to your appearance—and now that your hair is black, even that’s out the window.”
That gains me another smile, but I look at her intently. “You’re your own person, Stevie. None of us are replicas of our parents, and we’re not destined to repeat their mistakes. There are no guarantees in life or relationships, but there are definitely things that maximize the chance of success, and you have those qualities, Stevie.”
“But my marriagestillfailed,” she says. “I only knew Curtis for a few years, Troy, and the divorce wrecked me for a while. We don’t talk at all now. We’re essentially strangers. I can’t even fathom what it would do to me if that happened with you and me.”
I nod, my throat thick. “Yeah, that’s a terrifying thought.”
It’s quiet for a minute as we both consider the magnitude of the choice we have to make.
I sigh. “Look, the last thing I want to do is pressure you to be with me or to rush into things if they don’t feel right to you, Stevie. But as for me, I know if I don’t give things with you everything I’ve got, I willalwayswonder. I will go absolutely crazy because I’ve basically been wondering since we met.”
She squeezes my hand tightly, her eyes filling with tears again.
“I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of sounding like I’m not pressuring you,” I say with a grimace.
She laughs and wipes her eyes. “You’re doing great. I don’t feel pressure from you. I just… have a lot to think about.”
I nod, and we’re both quiet again, staring at our hands. I sigh. “I’ve got to get going so I can make it to that showing with Evelyn. Do you still want to come, or would you rather have some time alone?”
“I think I’ll stick around here and try to… figure out life, I guess?”
