Page 99 of Hail Marry
“Why? I mean, not the embarrassing part. We’ll have to agree to disagree on that”—I do another two seconds of my dance—“but the pointless part. Will it be pointless if you get a scholarship?”
He tosses the ball in the air and catches it. “I won’t.”
I tilt my head to the side and watch him, even though he won’t meet my eye. “You don’t know that.”
“I actually do. I don’t get lucky.”
“Notyetmaybe,” I say.
He looks at me like I’m the most gullible person on earth. “Youwouldsay that.”
I scoff. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re married to an NFL player. I’d call that pretty lucky.”
“Sure. But Luca’s been anythingbutthat. He’s had to fight tooth and nail for this dream. He didn’t come from money or a happy home. It may seem like he’s got it made now, but that’s only because you’re seeing the results, not the process. You’ll never know the things he’s done to work for this.” I purposely leave out the fact that those things include breaking the law like we have. That’s something this pep talk doesn’t need.
Dallin faces me, the ball still in his arms. “Yeah? And how many people have worked for it andnotsucceeded?”
I meet his gaze, unable to answer his question. I’m sure a ton of boys grow up hoping to play in the NFL, and I’m equally sure most of them don’t make it, some despite working as hard as they can. But I hate that Dallin seems to have given up before even trying.
A whistle blows, and Coach Staley yells through a megaphone for groups to move to the next position.
Dallin tosses me the ball and walks away without saying a word, and I watch him with a sigh.
When the time comes at the end of camp for the scholarship drawing, I hold my breath as every single one of the ten names are called. Despite all the jaded doom-and-gloom talk, I watch Dallin’s gaze grow intent just before each name is called.
Hedoeshave hope. He’s just too scared to admit it. And I get it. It’s hard to give even an inch to hope when life has obliterated it time and again.
The last name is called—Kaden Clawson—and Dallin’s gaze moves to me.I told you so, it says.
“Next time,” I mouth with a smile.
He scoffs and turns away, not sticking around as the kids line up to high-five us all as we get on the bus. Some of them are asking us to stay longer, but Coach Staley just laughs.
“These fine young men have a game tomorrow, fellas,” he says.
I suppress a sigh. That means Luca will be sleeping at the hotel tonight, which means whatever’s been going on between us today can’t be explored more at home.
The bus pulls away to the entire group waving at us. A couple of them are trying to imitate my touchdown dance.
“You’re really good with them,” Luca says as I give the boys two thumbs up through the window.
I laugh. “Too bad I’m terrible at football.”
“It doesn’t matter. You being you is enough.”
I look at Luca, searching his face. Suddenly, I understand Dallin even more.
Ever since Ryan, I’ve been too scared to hope for love. The thought of getting those hopes up only to have them crushed again has been too much for me to even consider. But hope doesn’t play by the rules. It doesn’t knock or ask permission to come in. It slips in through the crevices and cracks and starts expanding. Before you realize it, it’s wrestling your fears.
My fears have been winning for all these months. But today?
Today, they got knocked out cold by hope.
I lean my head on Luca’s shoulder, and he rests his head on mine.
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