Page 61 of Hail Marry
“I’m so glad the EAD is done,” I continue as the elevator stops on the main floor. “That’s got to be a huge relief—for youandZach. It means your contract with the Admirals goes into effect officially, right?” I step out of the elevator, and so does he.
We haven’t taken more than a few steps when he takes me by the hand, pushes open the nearest door, and pulls me through it.
It’s a stairwell, and the shutting of the door echoes loudly on the cement stairs and walls.
I face him, my gaze intent as he scrubs a hand over his stubble.
“You weren’t surprised,” he says.
I consider playing dumb but decide against it. “No.”
He shakes his head, looking at the wall next to him. “How long have you known?”
“A week or so? I was looking up stuff for the biometrics appointment and stumbled on some other stuff. It kind of snowballed from there.”
He looks me in the eye. “And you didn’t tell me.”
“It was right before the draft. I didn’t want to saddle you with more stress right then.”
“But you didn’t tell me after, either.”
“I haven’t seen you. You’re so busy, and I didn’t feel like ‘hey, we’re going to be married a lot longer than we thought’ was a conversation for text. Besides, it’s not that big of a deal.” At least not to me.
“Not that big of a deal?” he repeats. “We thought we’d be married a few months. Now Preston says it’s gotta be two years.” He shakes his head and steps back. “I can’t do it.”
I swallow and look at the cement floor, feeling more hurt than I should. This shouldn’t be a surprise. Neither of us signed up for a two-year marriage, and Luca told me himself that he doesn’t do relationships or even friendship. He’s made an exception because he needs this marriage.
But maybe it’s taking more of a toll on him than I realized.
I look up and find him watching me.
“You deserve better than this,” he says, his voice soft but clear.
My brows pull together. “Wait. Are you saying you can’t do this because of me?”
“Of course I am. I should never have let you, even when we thought it was just paperwork. And now?” He grimaces. “It just keeps getting more involved and eating up more of your life. You say you don’t want to get married, and maybe that’s how you feel now, but how will you feel in two years? Two years, Tori. You know what can happen in that amount of time?”
“I do,” I say. “It took two years of being with me before Ryan decided he didn’t want me anymore.” He opens his mouth, but I put up a hand. “I’m not trying to get your pity, Luca. I’m just making it clear I’m not interested in signing myself up for an experience like that again. Preston could say we have to be married fortenyears, and it wouldn’t change anything about my love life. But that’s just me, and I’m not the only one in this marriage.”
He shakes his head, apparently sensing where I’m going. “No.” The word is hard and firm. When he speaks again, his voice is softer, but it’s still firm. “This marriage is it for me.”
I search his face, wondering why in the world a guy like him would say something like that. Maybe he has his own Ryan story in his past. A broken heart.
“Two years is a long time, Tori,” he repeats.
I stare back at him, and a little thought in my brain says,not with you. I swat it away. “I’m not worried about it, okay? We’ve already been married a month, and it’s flown by, right?” I wait for him to confirm. “Right? Or maybe this has been the longest month of your life.”
He shakes his head. “No. Ithasflown by.”
“See? And you’ll be so busy killing it in the NFL, you won’t even notice two years. How fast did your last two seasons go by?”
He raises his brows to acknowledge my point. “Crazy fast.”
“Exactly. And I’ll be busy figuring out what I want to do with my life. It’ll be over before we know it. Besides, what’s the alternative?”
He lifts his shoulders. “Divorce?”
I press my lips together with displeasure, but inside I’m surprised at how much the word stings. “So unromantic. And impractical. Divorce wouldn’t accomplish anything.”
