Page 74 of Hail Marry
I only have a couple of traditional final exams, and my professors have been nice enough to let me take them on the day of my choosing in the testing center. Part of me wants to get it over with, but the other part?
That part is a little bit afraid to go back to L.A. To be where Tori is. It’s probably the same part that shoves the image of her looking up at me from the hotel bed in front of my brain when I’m trying to study biomechanics.
She was completely right to stop that kiss. She shouldn’t have had to stop anything, though. And I’m the one to blame for that.
It’s not what I want. That’s what she said, and it kills me every time I think about it—knowing that I was pushing myself on her even after we already had the discussion about just being friends.
It shouldn’t hurt to hear her say she doesn’t want that with me. Neither of us got into this for an actual relationship, and I know myself too well to think I can hold and kiss Tori without getting attached. I already am.Reallyattached. If I were an octopus, all eight of my tentacles would be wrapped around her.
I just have to pull back a bit. Or a lot.
The last thing I need is my mind anywhere but on football. I’m living my dream right now, but I have a lot to prove if I want tokeepliving it, so I can’t afford to lose focus.
That’s why I drive up to campus while she’s at work on Wednesday, take my two tests, then head right back down to San Diego. I feel like a jerk, but both of us are just trying to live our lives, right?
If I drove to her office like part of me wanted to, the second I saw her, I’d lose the little focus I’ve managed to recoup.
I get a text from her as I park at the hotel, and my stomach drops.
Tori
I just realized it’s finals week! When are you coming up?
I stare at the text for a couple of minutes before responding.
Luca
I actually already took them. I just had two, so I thought I’d knock them out then get back to SD to study plays.
So that I don’t end up kissing you again. That’s the subtext.
My muscles are tense as I wait for her reply. The three dancing dots appear, then disappear.
I clench my eyes shut. Iama jerk.She drove to San Diego to go see houses she won’t even be living in, and I can’t bring myself to go say hi to her when I’m in L.A. Do I really have so little self-control?
A few seconds later, a GIF rolls through of a knockout punch by Mike Tyson.
Tori
You’re so studious. Graduation is on Monday, right?
Luca
Probably. I’ve got training, though.
You’re not going to walk?!
I’ll be too busy running till I can’t stand. I’m not really into ceremonies and stuff.
*sigh* There goes my plan.
Do I even want to know?
I absolutelyneedto know. I smile as I wait for her text to come through.
I was planning to run on stage and accept your diploma WITH you. Since I’ve been so instrumental in your education, you know. You couldn’t have done it without your super supportive wife.
You were gonna pull a Kanye?
