Page 57 of Acting Merry
“Ireallylike Megan,” he says, the same smile there. “And she likes me too. I know because she tells me. She shows me. I never knew where I stood with Reese. The way she’s been with you? She never showed me she wanted me like that.” He smiles at me like he wants to be sure I know he’s complimenting me rather than whining.
I smile back, but what I should really respond is,That’s because she’s been acting.
Or maybe she hasn’t been. It hasn’t felt like acting. We haven’t had an audience for the moments I’ve loved most with her. But I don’t know what to think at this point.
This is why I don’t do this kind of thing. I don’t let it get to this point.
It gets so messy. So scary.
I try to wade into the waters and then wade back out, but here I am, drowning in the deep end.
Reese didn’t fight for Brady. Would she fight for me?
I want to believe that what Brady sees between Reeseand me is the real deal and not whatever façade she and I agreed to create together. But what if it’s not? What if the moment that façade isn’t needed, she lets go just as easily as she let him go?
I grip the tongs hard. Suddenly, I’m nine again, waking up to find my mom gone.
No fight. No explanation.
Just a big hole in my life where she used to be.
Ihaveto pull back.
fourteen
Reese
The food is amazing,but the way I feel inside is anything but.
Cole is holding my hand, but something about it is off. It feels…forced. Fake.
What happened out there with Brady and him? Or was this always how it felt when we held hands, but I was too wrapped up in my own daydreams of being with Cole to realize it?
Breakfast gets cleaned up, and Tess explains the plan for later—cookie decorating.
Cole works on cleaning up the grill while I wash dishes, and I miss having him next to me. I also can’t help wondering if he chose his chore on purpose.
“Hey, Reese,” Brady says as I wipe my hands on the dish towel. “Can I, um, talk to you for a sec?”
My heart skips a beat and my stomach gets tight with nerves. “Yeah, of course.”
I follow him over to the Christmas tree in the corner just as Cole steps back inside. His gaze sweeps the kitchen, then finds us in the corner. It lingers for a few seconds, and I try to make a face that saysno idea what this is about, but he just offers a sort of grimacing smile and heads to our room.
“I, uh…just wanted to apologize to you, I guess,” Brady says, rubbing a hand on his neck.
“For what?” I ask, as though I haven’t spent weeks thinking about all the ways he hurt me.
He gives a little shrug. “I dunno…everything? I feel like it’s been a little weird this weekend, and I take full responsibility for that since I’m sure having me here wasn’t your first choice.”
I give a small laugh in acknowledgement. “You’re not wrong.”
He winces. “Yeah, I figured. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I never set out to hurt you with this whole thing. With Megan. You seemed like you didn’t really mind when things ended between us, and I felt like an idiot over that. Then, Megan was nice to talk me through things when she dropped off my stuff, and I convinced myself it didn’t matter to you. But it did, didn’t it?”
I swallow. I want to say it didn’t, but I can’t lie. “Yeah, it hurt. Not just that you ended things but how fast theyhappened with Megan. I just felt…easily replaced? So, I guess we both felt like idiots if that’s any consolation.”
He gives a wry smile, then sighs. “I’m sorry. It was insensitive of me.”
“Thanks for saying something. I think we both could’ve done things differently, but honestly? I’m glad it’s worked out this way. You and Megan are good together. You make sense.”
