Page 61 of Acting Merry
I look at her for a second, then grimace.
She clenches her eyes shut. “I feel…terrible.”
“Which isn’t what I want,” I say. “I’ve honestly been confused by my reaction to all of this. It’s taken me this long to figure out why it’s bothered me. I think it’s a really weird mixture of humiliation and…and jealousy and being afraid I might lose you.”
Megan pulls me into a hug. “You could never lose me. I swear I never dreamed this is what would come of returning your stuff to Brady, and I never wanted to hurtyou. Neither did he. He was positive you were unfazed by the breakup. I was…less positive. But you seemed so chill about it, and my feelings for him were growing, so I wanted to believe you. But it was really selfish of me.”
I shake my head, but it’s validating to hear this.
“Do you still have feelings for him?” she asks tentatively. “If you do, I’ll break up with him, Reese. I’ll?—”
I put my hand on hers to stop her. “No. I don’t.”
Her eyes search mine. “You said you were jealous, though.”
“Not because I still want Brady, Meg. I’m jealous of what you have together.” I squeeze her hand. “And I already feel so much better having told you. I care about you so much, and I want you to be happy. Are you happy with Brady?”
She hesitates, then gives an apologetic nod.
I smile, and it’s not forced. Even though I’m cut up inside over Cole, I’m happy for Megan. Telling her that it all hurt me has removed a huge weight I hadn’t even realized I was carrying. I guess that’s what pretending is. A burden you don’t fully feel the weight of until you set it down. “Then don’t let him go, okay?” I squeeze her hand. “I’m sorry I wasn’t upfront with you about how I felt.”
Her eyes glisten as she shakes her head. “I understand why. You wanted me to be happy, which means the world to me. I’m just sorry I hurtyou. I let myself believe what I wanted to instead of listening to my conscience.”
“We’ll do better now,” I say.
She nods and smiles. “What about Cole?”
My gaze drops to my lap, and I shrug. “He left.”
“But you’re in love with him, right?”
“We barely know each other. We haven’t had time to fall in love.”
“But you did anyway.”
I look at her, my throat clogging again. “Yeah.”
She lets out a sigh. “Why would he leave? I’m positive he feels the same way about you.”
“He was acting, Meg. That’s what I’m telling you. He was my fake boyfriend for a couple days.”
She’s shaking her head before I’m even halfway through talking. “No. Sorry. You’re not gonna convince me of that. I say this as someone who loves you dearly, Reese, but…man, people in love are really dumb sometimes. Do you forget that I saw you guys kiss? Twice?”
“The mistletoe kiss was a performance.”
She snorts. “A performance where the actors forgot they had an audience. It almost felt illegal watching that. But even if itwasa performance…what about that kiss in the snow?”
In an instant, Cole’s lips are on mine, his body pressed against me, heating me from above while cold filters through the towel on my back. “I thought that one was real,” I admit. “But you said it yourself—Cole knew you were watching.”
“Not until after the kiss. He was surprised when he saw me.”
I want to believe her so badly. “Then, why did he leave?”
Her shoulders lift. “I don’t know.”
I hardly hear her. My own question jogs a memory. Last night, he told me I should tell Megan how I felt. He said he’d give anything to tell his mom what it did to him and his family when he left—how he can’t even go on a third date because he’s scared of being left again.
Suddenly, it clicks.
