Page 63 of Acting Merry
“Why not?” I say, trying—and miserably failing—to sound nonchalant.
“I couldn’t,” he says. “I turned the key in the ignition and put the car in reverse, but…all I could think of was my mom. What must’ve been going through her mind when she did those things all those years ago. That’s when I realized…I was doing the same thing. Leaving you without any explanation. Causing pain to someone I love because I was being a coward.”
Thatsomeone I lovesnatches my breath. I don’t even try to get it back. I don’t even need breath. I just need those words.
He looks at the car behind me. “Where were you going?”
I let out a breathy laugh. “I was…coming after you.”
“In Brady’s car?”
I lift a shoulder. “Desperate times.” I can’t take my eyes off of him—like every micromovement is a message I have to interpret.
But that’s not why I’m here. I didn’t come to try to understand how Cole feels, even though I do desperately want to understand.
I came to tell him howIfeel.
I take a couple of careful steps. “Cole, I don’t know why you decided to leave all of a sudden, but I’ve been kicking myself for letting you go without saying something.”
His throat bobs, but he stays quiet, his eyes fixed on mine.
“This”—I gesture at the cabin—“has all been…insane. It was a crazy idea, and you were crazy to go along with it. Like, what were you thinking?”
He laughs, and the sound is like liquid courage—just enough to keep me talking.
“What I’m about to say is every bit as crazy. I get that. But it also happens to be true.” I swallow but look him straight in the eye. “Your two-date policy might’ve protected you, but it did nothing for me.” My heart pummels my chest. “I’m in love with you, Cole.”
His gaze intensifies.
My words hover on the chill air surrounding us, like aflurry of snow caught in a whirlwind we’re in the middle of.
“I know that freaks you out,” I hurry to add, “and you specifically told me you don’t do relationships and we agreed this was all supposed to be fake, and I understand if you?—”
He takes two steps toward me, and his mouth covers mine. His hands grip my waist, while I thread mine into his hair.
It’s the rudest, most glorious way I’ve ever been interrupted, and I’ve already forgotten everything but Cole’s kiss.
His lips move against mine and his fingers press into my sides, keeping me where I am—as though I’d even consider going anywhere if he let go.
I’m here. I’m not leaving Cole again. Not now. Hopefully not ever.
I search for something new and different in this kiss, and I find it in the aching sweetness and the sheer vulnerability behind it, like we can finally lay down any fears and pretense.
The best part about it, though, is that it’snotthat different. It’s the same warmth, the same fire I felt under the mistletoe and the one in the snow. Which means I wasn’t imagining it. Those weren’t fake or just for show.
They were real.
He pulls away just enough that our lips part, and he restshis forehead against mine. “My two-date policy didn’t stand a chance. I haven’t been faking for a long time now, Reese. I started falling for you on the porch the night we met. ”
Relief and wonder collide, tangling in my chest. I hold his face in my hands. “Me too.”
He lets out a sigh of contentment that I feel in my bones. “I’m sorry I left,” he says softly. “I overheard you talking to Megan, and…you were so quick to rein in her talk about the future with us that I got freaked out. And then Brady told me how easily you let him go, and it just…”
I nod and take his hand. “I get it. You were scared. But I wasn’t reining Megan in because I didn’t see a future. I was reining myself in because Ididsee it. I saw it and wanted it, but I was scared you didn’t. And then you left, and I kind of…broke down in front of Megan. I was so crushed. And just…tired of pretending I wasn’t feeling anything—about her and Brady, but also about you. Telling her was such a relief that it gave me the courage to come after you.”
He studies my face for a second, then takes my lips with his, like he can’t help himself.
I’d never want him to.
