Page 6 of His Wild Storm
“You’re going to be just fine, Haven,” she breathes out. “No matter where you go, you can look at this and remember the healing you did here in Seneca Falls, and the people whose lives you touched while you were here.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to move on,” I whisper.
She gives me a squeeze and then leans back just enough to look into my eyes. “You’re ready. It’s time to find the place where you can find peace and can feel your future like it is a beat of your heart.” Tears fill my eyes, but they don’t fall because I know she’s right. “Just remember, not every man is like the one you’re running from. When you meet the right man, let your heart be open to him.”
I nod even though I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to do that. My soul yearns for something real, for something special, but can I trust my judgement afterhim? I don’t know, but maybe it’s time to take a step closer to finding out.
CHAPTER 3
PRESENT
HAVEN
The weight of a small body crashes into me and I let out an oomph but keep my eyes closed and try not to smile. Even as I try to pretend like he didn’t just wake me, I take a moment to soak in how mornings like this are a luxury I didn’t think I would ever have.
Now I do and it’s still only the beginning.
I just wish I didn’t feel like there’s something waiting right around the corner for me.
The feeling has lessened since leaving Nevada and arriving in Denver, but it lingers. There’s something about Colorado and I felt it the moment we arrived. It was like my lungs could fully expand the moment I crossed the state line. Every breath got a little easier as I got closer to Denver.
When I pulled up to Safe Home, something started to fall into place inside of me. The rooms aren’t huge and there are times when the noise is almost too much, but I’m safe.
I’ve even been able to start working. I’m damn glad I got my accounting degree. While I couldn’t do it regularly, I was able to take some freelance accounting jobs over the years. I’vestarted to do the same again while looking for a firm to work for remotely. It’s helped me feel grounded in a way I haven’t really felt in the last year. So much of the last year since I ran has felt like I was on borrowed time and existed only as charity.
Working again has given me a purpose I really needed.
Well, the therapy has helped a lot too. And not just for me either. Giving Wilde a chance to talk about the fear he was internalizing, and the constant need to survive which he couldn’t fully understand, has helped to ground him as well.
Colorado is starting to feel like home.
It scares the hell out of me.
What if I relax too much and that’s whenhefinds me? It almost feels like a silly question because I have no idea if he is even looking for us in the first place.
You know he is. His need for power and control wouldn’t allow him to stop. Not yet.
“Mommy,” Wilde drawls, a slight whine to his voice which has me smiling and pushing my face deeper into the pillow, as if the last thing I want to do is be woken up by my adorable son. “I know you’re awake. You’re thinking too hard to be asleep.”
Before he knows what is happening, I roll and trap him in my arms before I start to tickle him. The shriek he lets out has me hesitating for a moment, fear of sending him spiraling makes me unsure, but then peals of giggles hit my ears and my fingers can move again.
But only for the purposes of more tickles.
“Mommy,” he gasps out between fits of laughter. It’s a sound which makes my heart feel so damn full. He didn’t get the chance to laugh nearly enough in the first three years of his life.
Now he smiles.
And he laughs.
He asks questions.
The eyes he uses to look at the world are keen and curious.
His mind is no longer clouded with fear constantly encroaching which I was unable to protect him from.
Freedom feels suspicious after so many years of being caged. I’m sure Wilde feels the same way even if he doesn’t understand it.
The first time he shouted or laughed a little louder or made a demand was a revelation. He looked around like he was expecting a monster to come around the corner and crush his spirit. He was expecting his father.
