Page 121 of Love It or List It
Austin had to tell him now.He would’ve done it weeks ago if he’d known Joe would jump to this kind of conclusion.“Sweet thing.”He held out his hands.Joe took them.“I sold the garage.”
Joe’s mouth dropped open.“What?”And then: “Why?”
He shook his head, pulling Joe closer.He wasn’t allowed to try to get away.He wasn’t allowed to feel guilty about this.“You were sick.Starling needed the money we owed her.I was trying to figure out what to do, if I could borrow against the house, but I think I’d need your sign-off on that ’cause we’re co-owners, and then I remembered your mom mentioned she had a client who was looking for commercial property on that section of Malden, so….”
“Mymomwas in on this?”His voice cracked, and shame crept into his expression, and he tried to take a step back.Austin kept gentle hold of his elbows.“If you—where have you been going?”
“Work,” Austin said.“Uh, the dealership in town happened to be hiring.It was fate, I guess.”
Joe took a deep breath.He was taller than Austin, and broader, but right now he seemed tiny in Austin’s arms.He was better at hiding his neuroses than Austin had given him credit for too.Austin wouldn’t make that mistake again.“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Austin cupped his cheek.“I knew you’d feel like it was your fault, and I didn’t want that.And you were so determined we had to take things slowly.If you thought I sold the garage for our relationship….”
Groaning, Joe closed his eyes and leaned his head into Austin’s touch.Something inside Austin started to unwind.Joe was getting closer, not farther away.“I’ve been so stupid.”
“Hey.”He bent forward until their foreheads touched.
“No, Austin.Fuck, I’m so—if I’d justasked—”
“I could’ve told you about the garage at any time,” Austin said gently.
Joe opened his eyes only to narrow them.“Don’t let me off the hook.I’ve been such ababy.”
“You maybe should get some therapy,” Austin said lightly.“I think my fancy new insurance might cover that, actually.”
JOE LAUGHEDwetly, wondering how in the world this conversation had ended up here.Austin wasn’t wrong.He probablyshouldinvest in therapy if a few presents had him freaking out this badly.
He was still processing the conversation from most to least recent, because his brain could only handle so many surprises at once, so he started with a weak attempt at a joke to divert attention from his sniffling.“Putting me on your insurance isn’t exactly going slow, since I don’t really qualify as a dependent.”He couldn’t bring himself to let go of Austin’s hands to wipe his eyes.
Austin shrugged.“No.Putting you down as my domestic partner on official paperwork is definitely not slow, but I’m tired of slow.I’d rather be honest about what I want.”
Honesty.
Joe didn’t want to go slow anymore either.Had they ever even really done that, or had they only lied to themselves about it?From day one Joe had known he could have feelings for Austin.He’d told himself he’d keep on his guard, but he hadn’t.He didn’t want to.
He wanted to be here, in this house, with Austin, being honest about what he wanted.
Joe’s brain processed a little farther back.What Austin wanted was Joe.Because Austin loved him.And Joe had kind of left him hanging.
“I, ah.”Austin squeezed his fingers.“I love you too.”
A smile took over Austin’s face.“Yeah?”
Joe nodded, feeling the pressure in his chest ease at the admission.“I think I have for a while, but I didn’t let myself think about it.”
“Flattering,” Austin said dryly, but he didn’t look angry.The smile didn’t even leave his lips.
“I’m sorry I’ve been kind of, uh… irrational.”He swallowed.“I know you’re not Paul.I think I just… I got in my head and assumed the worst and—”
“Sweet thing”—Joe’s breath hitched to hear that name said so tenderly—“your behavior is totally understandable.”
“Still dumb, though.”
Austin cupped his face and brushed his thumbs along Joe’s cheeks.“I’m not saying I wanna do this again, but I won’t hold one moment of temporary paranoia against you.”
“Ha, thanks.”
There was no choice but to kiss Austin then.Austin moaned into his mouth and twined his arms around Joe, who was suddenly keenly aware of how long it had been since the last time Joe hadn’t been an anxious mess while they made love.Suddenly he desperately wanted to go to bed and make Austin feel good in all the ways they’d talked about.After all, it was after dinner—Austin couldn’t complain about being too useless until bed at this time of day.
