Page 52 of Love It or List It
They managed to get themselves dressed and into the kitchen just in time for the fruits’ arrival.
Gavin, because he was a chaotic neutral troll, laughed when he saw them slumped at the table.
“What did you do to yourselves?”Will asked.
“Red wine,” Joe grunted and made grabby hands at the food.“Let this be a lesson to you, children—never drink.”
Alex rolled their eyes.“You’re so old.”
Austin contemplated this accusation as he sipped his Gatorade.“Nah, I’ve never felt like this before.The lesson here, kids, is don’t drink red wine.When it comes to booze, be trashy, not classy.”
“Austin, don’t corrupt my children.”
Austin glanced at said children.“You’ve got to be almost done high school, right?”
Alex dimpled.“A couple more months.”
“Yeah.That barn door is open,” Austin said without pity and patted Joe’s head condescendingly.
“People who mock my children don’t get to use them as DoorDash or free labor.”
“Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face,” Will said.
“Nice.”Austin held out a tired hand to fist-bump.“Keep this up and you’ll be my favorite.”He winked and the kid went adorably pink.
Once Austin and Joe were approaching human, they put the kids to work walking Pepa, feeding the kittens, and handling the box of Christmas decorations they hadn’t gotten rid of.Then Joe said, “So, should we go get your bed?”
Austin wasn’t an expert on navigating potential repeat-night stands, but he was pretty sure the subtext here said that last night might have been good, but there wouldn’t be a repeat.
Thank God for Joe’s work truck.They loaded Austin’s bedroom furniture into the back and had just started to secure the mattress when Austin had a thought.
“Hey, Joe?”
Joe glanced his way and grunted.Austin was pretty sure Joe was looking at him, but it was hard to tell behind the sunglasses.
“How are we gonna get the mattress up the stairs?”
Joe looked at the mattress.He looked at Austin.
Wordlessly, they took the mattress out of the truck bed and put it back against the wall of Austin’s office.
“Plan B,” Austin said.“As in Bedroom Depot.”
They made it to the store just as it opened—noon on Sundays—and Austin dipped inside long enough to sit on three different foam mattresses that came in boxes.He picked the medium-soft one.He and Joe loaded it into the truck five minutes later.
“I should pay half of it,” Joe said once they’d gotten back on the road home.They were taking Walker Road, which was a big industrial and shopping street in the city and somehow transitioned to farmland and would deposit them more or less at their doorstep.It felt wrong.
So did Joe’s offer.“Hell no.That’s my mattress,” Austin said.“First brand-new one I’ve ever had.Merry Christmas to me.Besides, it was still on sale from Black Friday.”It might’ve been a stretch at any other time, but his credit card company gave him an extra month to pay at Christmas.
“Yeah, but if I hadn’t taken the bedroom on the main floor, you wouldn’t have had to buy one.”
Austin was too hungover for this.“Joe.You literally just saw my mattress.It basically had springs poking out of it.There’s a reason I didn’t mind sleeping in the trailer.”
Joe huffed.“Fine.”
Back at the farmhouse, Joe conned his male offspring into helping unload the truck while Alex strung lights on Joe’s Christmas tree.
“This doesn’t feel too gender essentialist?”Austin asked them as Joe and Gavin wheezed past with Austin’s dresser.
