Page 56 of Love It or List It
“Didn’t you already do something?I thought that was the problem.”
“Starling.I slept with him.It was good.I wanna do it again.”
She caught and held his gaze.Despite her earlier teasing, her face was serious now.“So, either don’t sleep with him again, or talk to him like an adult, have a relationship, and sleep with him again.”
Joe groaned and dropped his forehead to the table.“That would be a terrible idea, right?”He turned his head so he could catch her eye.Joe did not want to enter into a relationship with a parodic house husband.That was a foolish idea that would end in heartbreak, and he definitely couldn’t do casual with Austin.He widened his eyes at her.“Like, objectively.”
“Yes, Joe, all your ideas are inherently terrible, so… definitely don’t do that.”
Joe pouted.“You weren’t supposed to agree so quickly.”
“Hey, I’m your bestie.I’m not supposed to lie to you either.”She reached out and combed her fingers through his hair.“The truth hurts.”
The truth was that Joe was a hopeless romantic who preferred love and candlelit dinners to one-night stands, who loved having a partner and who had maybe, kinda, sorta settled once or twice instead of calling time of death on a relationship.And Joe didn’t want a relationship with Austin because of all the entanglements.Super messy.
Not that he had to worry about that, since Austin didn’t do relationships or dating.Come to think of it, that made him kind of the ideal candidate for a friendly one-nighter.
And a terrible candidate for a longer-term arrangement.
“Keep it in your pants, Casanova,” Starling intoned seriously, the words at odds with the amused twist of her lips.
Sighing, Joe held up his first two fingers.“Scout’s honor.”
He actually had been a scout too.He could never tell Austin that; he’d never hear the end of it.
“Good.Now that that’s over with, can I get a fist bump?”
Joe blinked.Starling had her hand held out toward him, fingers closed around the palm.“I’m getting kinda mixed signals here, babe.”
“Please.Austin was absolutely the wrong guy to play prod the peach with, but how long has it been since you had an orgasm with another sentient being?Note that I am explicitly excluding Paul.”
“Why is everyone so hung up on the numbers?”Joe whined.His mind shied away from doing any kind of calculation.It was winter.Things were depressing enough.“Everybody’s so mean to me.”
“What, who else asked you?The kids?”
“Worse.Austin.”
Starling’s lips twitched the way they did when she was fighting a smile.“Did you lose it early or something?”
Joe gasped theatrically.“First of all, how dare you.Second of all, technically I was bottoming, so that wouldn’t have mattered—”
Starling cackled.
“—not that it was a problem.And finally, this was the conversation we hadbeforethe pants came off.”
“Oh, so you were just setting realistic expectations.”
He tossed the remainder of his biscotti at her.“Fuck off.”
She picked it off the floor and popped it in her mouth.“Nah.That’s your job.”She slugged back some more Irish coffee and grinned impishly.“You telling the kids?”
“Oh my God, no, why would I do that?”What a shitstorm that would cause.Gavin and Alex would roast his ass from here to next Tuesday and—“Will would cry.He totally has a crush.”
“Joe.Joe.”Starling put her mug down and leaned forward, reaching for his hand.“You cannot make Austin his stepmom.At least not without installing cameras and some kind of livestream.Seriously, there’s good money in that—”
“Starling—”
“Please, I’m begging you.If he finds out, you have to get it on video—”
