Page 10 of Love It or List It
Good, Joe thought; obviously he’d clocked the vibe.
“So hey,” Gavin said, “are we going to look around or what?Personally I’m excited to excavate—”
That was Joe’s cue.He clapped Gavin on the shoulder.“Glad to hear it.”He steered the kid toward the dining room, collecting the others in his wake.“Minions!Grab some work gloves from that box and let’s get going.We’re wasting daylight.”
“It’s literally dark outside,” Will said.
“What’s that?”Joe asked.“You volunteer to clean the bathroom?”
Behind him, he heard Austin snort.
“He means we would be happy to help,” Alex translated, catching up.They smacked Will in the chest with a pair of work gloves.
“That’s what I thought.Keep the gossip to a dull roar, please.I have to own property with this man for at least a few months, and he won’t trust me if he realizes what a band of miscreants I’ve raised.”
Meg booed, obviously having translated that correctly asDon’t embarrass me or I won’t let you help when Austin’s around.
“If it’s trash, trash it.If it’s salvageable, save it.If it needs more investigating, set it aside and Austin and I will go over it later.”He paused.“Maybe ask Meg if it looks like it might have sentimental value.”
He weaved them around boxes and rolled-up carpets and a beat-up rocking horse that might actually be as old as the house, and deposited them in the living room.Impossibly, there was a fishtank, still with water in it, lit and bubbling, though Joe didn’t see any fish.God, he hoped they died long before DeeDee, instead of slowly starving to death.
“You can start in here,” he said.Nobody was going upstairs until he’d had a chance to test the floors, because even if the roof didn’t leak now—and he didn’tthinkit did, based on the lack of water damage on the ceilings—that didn’t mean it hadn’t in the past.There could be dry rot, or termites, or God knew what else.
“But we want to help in the kitchen!”Gavin protested.
“There is barely room enough for me and Austin in the kitchen.”Thank God for that, even if it would make the place a pain in the ass to sell later.“This is the only room big enough for all four of you without being emptied out first.Take it or leave it.”
Meg narrowed her eyes in a teasing challenge.“We could split up—”
“Nope.Buddy system.Just in case there’s a mummified rat.”Also because she and Alex used to be inseparable, but they had been low-key sniping at each other lately, and Joe figured witnesses would keep the bloodshed to a minimum.
Gavin perked up.“Have you found—”
“No!”Joe wondered if he had any Advil left in his truck.“Okay, well, here you are.Your work’s cut out for you.Try not to get in trouble.”
The four of them rolled their eyes in unison.“Yes, Dad.”
Unsurprisingly, the kids were enthusiastic workers.Their curiosity to see everything meant that they happily tackled box after box, sorting, tossing, and laughing.
Once Joe got them set up with the three-piles system and several garbage bags—“Seriously, kids, if it’s garbage, it’s garbage.”—he went back to the kitchen.
“Life tip: there’s no point in having kids if you can’t occasionally use them as free child labor.”
Austin snorted.“Is this your pro-parenthood pitch?”
“Yes.”Joe nodded, straight-faced.“If having loyal minions doesn’t appeal to you, you’re not cut out for parenting.”
Austin barked out a laugh and shook his head.“Good to know.”He pulled a box of crackers from the cupboard, frowned at the open flap, and threw it into a garbage bag.“Once I realized I couldn’t accidentally impregnate any of my partners, I stopped thinking about kids.”
His tone was so light, Joe suspected it hid some deeper feelings.“Uh.”
Austin paused and examined the box of pasta now in his grip.“Though I guess it’s theoretically possible for trans men to get pregnant.”He shrugged and put the pasta—unopened—in a box.
Joe stared for a beat.The kids can never knowwas his first ungenerous—and unrealistic—thought.Once they found out Austin was gay as well as hot, they would not rest until Joe proposed marriage.This thought was followed in rapid succession byScrew you, DeeDeeand vague surprise at how casually Austin was willing to come out.
Then again, Joe had just introduced him to his nonbinary child without blinking.
Shaking those thoughts away, he opened a cupboard a few feet from Austin and started his own excavation.Then, putting on the most casual of tones, he said, “I can’t say newborns are on my radar either, what with the four kids already.But I guess an accidental baby is a theoretical possibility since I’m bi.”
