Page 46 of Chaos Destiny
Even in this chaos, I preferred to be alone.
I managed to get back to Virginia from Atlanta, hoping to enter my house and have my wife run into my arms. I didn’t care what condition I’d found her in; all I’d wanted was to know she was safe and alive, even if alive had meant one ofthosethings.
Instead, what I’d found was rubble.
Shortly after the pandemic began, the U.S. capital was targeted. At the time, every country believed that the pathogen was a result of a foreign enemy’s biological warfare. Bombs and missiles followed, and when the dust cleared, our foolishness came to light—we’d wasted time fighting over resources. We’d wasted time entrenched in tariff wars and conflicts that amounted to no more than back-and-forth eye-rolling on a global scale. We’d positioned ourselves as our own worst enemies, forgetting that there could ever be a common enemy among us.
Ego was our downfall.
Ego was always going to be our downfall.
Yet, what irritated me most was that my family, the people I loved, had to breathe the same air as those I didn’t give two shits about. They had to share the same space, often forced to have their opinions measured on the same scale as those who licked boots while raising one hand in dictatorial salute.
Since walking up to the pile of debris that used to be the home I shared with Ari, I’d found myself wavering between an ignorant, tenuous sort of hope and staring into dead eyes, seeing a soul that lost its way with every sunset.
Today, all that changed.
Today, I learned that I owed Gage more than my life, and it was a debt that I would never be able to repay.
“How far is this camp, you think, Julien?” Rashida asked.
I didn’t answer.
Before Ari, I’d cared about this woman. We’d run in the same circles, which was why people with Top Secret security clearance pulled our names from a hat, hoping our expertise helped to curb an infection no one understood. When I first entered a room filled with enough MDs and PhDs to staff a university, it didn’t surprise me to find Rashida sitting in a corner, alone, tapping away on a laptop.
At first, it was unclear why they wanted people with a tech background. But we soon learned that the government had been essentially tossing spaghetti at a wall, praying something would stick.
“Julien?” she called.
Still, I said nothing.
All I wanted was Ari and to meet my baby girl. I wanted to see that they were alive, for myself, and hold them against me until the end of time. They were all that had kept me going; that and the fact that they’d faced the end of the world with Gage Wolfe made their chances of survival greater than mine.
Rashida lowered her voice, but we were in the back of a truck full of more people than we’d encountered in a while. Then, the engine rumbled loudly enough to cast an echo. It was pointless to whisper, especially since I didn’t want to hear anything she had to say.
“I’m sorry,” she went on. “But let’s be real…statistically, I was right.”
Gage glanced at us.
Hopefully, my expression gave away nothing. As close as I was to Gage, and as close as I was with our team, no one knew much about my life before we served together. Therefore, no one knew who Rashida was, where she came from, and the circumstances surrounding our relationship. Again, before Ari, I’d assumed I loved her. Before Ari, I’d assumed a lot of stupid shit.
“I thought they were dead, Julien. Didn’t D.C. get nuked?”
I sighed, knowing she wouldn’t stop talking until I answered her. “There were no nukes,” I said. “Turns out that no one saw the benefit in pushing the button. The days of riding into war alongside the soldiers have been long gone for a while in government. Ultimately, there was a new, implicit law of the land: every man for himself. Plus, it doesn’t matter. It never mattered. I’ll walk until I’m down to nothing but bones to find my wife.”
And my daughter.
I still couldn’t believe I was a father.
“And you don’t think that’s reckless?”
“I’mentitledto recklessness, Rashida.” I motioned to the passing landscape. “Look around.Somethingis left. There are trees and a sky. There’s wind and rain. There’s you. You survived.” I smacked myself in the chest. “I survived. That was more than enough reason for me to keep going, even when youkept trying to force your complacency on me because you have nothing to live for.”
“Nothing to live for?” Her mouth wrinkled, and her eyes blazed with fury. “I watched my brother die to this...this curse. I watched my mother, my father—all gone. Strong people, mind you. Determined people. All of them? Dead. I was only trying to help you prepare for the inevitable.”
“You watched them die. That’s called closure.”
To get to Ari, I would have killed any and everyone who tried to stop me.
