Page 115 of Savagely Yours
Totten’s shadowed outline loomed behind Neal, and the wails of his agony rode the wind. I wasn’t sure whether Dr. Okoro had shared what he’d discovered with anyone else. Still, none of us had ever seen one of the infected return to anything resembling a functioning human. Even if a cure did arrive, it wouldn’t be tomorrow.
Neal had no hope.
“Do we end it?” I asked.
Dez half-glanced over his shoulder. “For Neal, you mean? No. With men like that, at their core, there’s a desperate denial of vulnerability. Their biggest fear is their own mortality. In the end, we all die the same way, and facing that can be more painful than dying itself. They’re forced to realize that the things they put into place to protect their egos and hide their insecurities do nothing to please the Reaper. When death comes? When it’s ready? Weallbecome dust and dirt. Going quickly can be a blessing, but there are those who, in my opinion, deserve long-term suffering. And it’s not because I think they’ll ‘face’ the misery they’ve caused. I just like the idea that, in their final moments, they’ll go out frightened, helpless, and in a shitload of pain.”
The darkness swallowed the outline of the camp.
Neal’s cries grew weaker until they disappeared.
“Hopefully, Totten will learn something,” I said. “I hope it faces its ugliest truths, its harshest secrets. Hopefully, once it does that, it’ll come out better than it was.”
“But, for us, that won’t matter,” Dez added. “I’d rather put the chances of a better outcome, a better fate for you, Larke, in the hands of someone who loves you more than he loves himself.”
I set my head on Dez’s shoulder.
Still, in that moment, I felt sorry for Neal.
Sometimes, evil was selfish, vindictive, and malicious. Other times, evil was simply broken. At the end of the day, however, it didn’t matter. The best course of action would always be for evil to die.
In this arc of my life, Neal had played a minor part. This season was always supposed to be about me and Dez. I’d focused so much on the villain that I’d found myself disappointed when Neal turned out to be an average, flawed human. However, my story was allowed to have heroes who scoured entire complexes to find me. Heroes who nursed me back to health, stayed by my side, and allowed me to rest. Heroes who brought me peace, kept me safe, and loved me.
Deeply.
“We have a little walk before we get to the van, but it’s not too far,” Dez said.
I secured my arms around his neck. “I can walk.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Okay, then. How long do you intend to carry me?”
“Not sure. Ask me again in about thirty years or so.”
I smiled. “I love you.”
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
“I said, I love you.”
“All that gunfire messed up my hearing. One more time?”
“I love you, Dez. Forever and ever. And always.”
“Is that why you thought it was Ronan who came for you?” he asked. “Did you think I wouldn’t? I must be slipping if you’re already losing faith in me.”
I kissed the side of his neck and traced the line of his jaw with my index finger. “I’m sorry, baby. To be fair, you were the one who sent him, and he did an excellent job. He aced his assignment. I walked away with not a scratch on me.”
“Did he touch you?”
“He cupped my chin to check?—”
He started to turn around, and I squealed and held him tighter, as if that would have made a difference. Then, he laughed, gave me a little squeeze, and groaned. If he was feeling anything similar to what I was feeling, that groan also held relief.
And joy.
“I love you, too, Larke,” he said.
