Page 50 of Savagely Yours
“Wasn’t planning on leaving.”
“I wish I could stay.”
“I’ll take good care of her,” I promised.
After one more round of checks, the trio headed to the front door, Dr. Lin solemnly shaking his head and sighing. On his way out, he let me know that he would disseminate an advisory about a bug going around, which would give my walking through the building with a mountain of sheets additional credibility.
Once Larke and I were alone, I cleaned up in record time to avoid leaving her unattended for too long. I then tossed on a ribbed tank and shorts and climbed into the large bed. I waited, hoping she opened her eyes, though I knew it was better that she slept.
“Tapley, I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I can’t help but feel like I failed you. I know you’d tell me it’s not my fault, but you wouldn’t be in this situation if I was doing my job. And you’re a strong woman. I know that. But why do you have to keep proving it? At some point, it’s not a test of strength. It’s just fucking cruel.”
I lightly stroked one of her fingers, needing to touch her.
“This could have been a good community, you know? A decent community for people trying to find a semblance of a normal life as the world turns to shit. This could have been the place where we got a chance. Yet, people will always continue to disappoint, won’t they? I don’t understand…why is decency so fucking hard? When I was on the streets, they blamed money. That, if it weren’t for money, kids like me wouldn’t have had to spend a considerable portion of their day avoiding people trying to buy and sell them. Now, society’s fallen, and people are still the same evil fuckers that they’ve always been.”
In my mind, I heard her voice:
“That’s because there are a bunch of ‘have-nots’ in this world that have no idea how truly far away they are, and will ever be, from the ‘haves.’ They were taught that oppression is a type of privilege, so when they can’t afford food or somewhere to live or their medications, they blame everyone but the people who are actually responsible for their circumstances.”
Her breathing stuttered.
I shot straight up in the bed.
Immediately, it returned to normal, so I lay back down a half-inch closer.
“So, would you say I’m selfish, then?” I asked.
“In what way?”
“Because I was upset before, yes, but for doing what they did to you, they’re going to feel my wrath.”
“You’re okay with us going out into a world that’s fundamentally changed? Aren’t you concerned about me needing you the way I do?”
“Tapley, my confidence took a hit when I lost somebody I cared about, but I’ll take care of you. And we’ll find something else, somewhere else where no one has to endure these fucked up levels of depravity. I will do whatever the fuck I have to do to make this world feel safe for you again, even as it’s burning.”
“What about the people at Fort Totten? Not everyone can make it on their own.”
“A safe haven is supposed to be for everyone. If, when the wool is pulled from their eyes, they’re fine with what’s happening to others, then they deserve the hell I’ll be bringing.”
“You’ll take care of me?”
“You know I will. I always will.”
“Nah. We’ll take care of each other.”
I smiled, vision blurry. “I love you, Larke. I’ve loved you for a while now. A hardened man, a hardened heart does not always make.”
“Why’d you pretend that you didn’t? Why’d you keep pushing me away?”
“Because I’ve never been in this position before. I’ve been afraid of losing people, but I’ve never felt like I would unravel if I did. If I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ll try to keep going if I lose you. I mean, what’s the point?”
“Your brothers.”
“They’ll be fine without me. I won’t be fine without you.”
“Okay, Dez. So, what’s your game plan?”
“Right now, we’ll give you time to get better. Then, together, we’re going to topple an empire. For what they’ve done to you? Fort Totten’s downfall will come at the hands of my retribution.”
