Page 53 of Savagely Yours
Like he did the other night, he helped me up, but I shook my head when he went to sit to brace me back against him. My bladder felt like an overfilled water balloon.
“Bathroom,” I said.
“Here, let me?—”
“I want…to try.”
I steadied my palms on either side of my body, breathing hard from all the movement and to prepare myself to exert energy. The look on his face and the fingers tapping his leg said he wanted to pick me up and carry me to the bathroom, but he restrained himself.
“I don’t like watching you struggle,” he said, responding to my thoughts. “If it were up to me, you would never feel pain, even if the only option I had was to take the pain for you.”
Once again, I was picking up on the echoes and shadows of meaning hidden between his words. Before, I’d assumed hispoker face had failed him, but I was now starting to wonder whether he merely couldn’t guard himself as closely as before.
I got halfway to my feet.
Dez helped me the rest of the way.
“The bathroom’s just right there.” He used his chin to point to a door that looked miles away. “I’ll walk with you. If you get to a point where you need me to carry you, squeeze my hand. If you need me to help you,” he gave me a pointed look, “I’ll do that too. Front to back. I know what I’m doing.”
I rolled my eyes.
Later, I would smack him twice.
We made it a few feet across the room before I had to squeeze his hand. Without hesitation, he scooped me up and carried me into the bathroom. When he set me down, I realized I was wearing puffy gray socks several sizes too large for my feet.
“I’ve…got it from here,” I told him.
He steadied me with a hand at the small of my back. “Are you sure? I wasn’t joking. Dr. Lin and his staff weren’t the ones giving you baths, cleaning your teeth, and making sure your lips didn’t dry out.”
“Which lips?”
He laughed. “The ones on your face, Tapley.”
“And you did all of that?”
“Of course. I took care of you. But I didn’t do anything indecent or inappropriate, just so you know. It was all practical.”
At the moment, he was giving every good spouse I’d ever known a run for their money in the “in sickness and health” department.
“I wasn’t worried about that,” I said. “I know what kind of man you are. And thank you for taking care of me.”
“You’re welcome, but you don’t have to thank me.” He searched my face, his shoulders lifting with a deep breath. “FYI, even on the pain meds, you might feel some discomfort becauseof the catheter. Dr. Lin didn’t want to leave it in a second longer than he had to since your body’s not primed to fight off a second infection so soon. If there’s a lot of discomfort or any bleeding, let me know.”
I wrapped my arms around him.
He returned the hug, smoothing my hair scarf and what I imagined was probably a bird’s nest underneath.
“I would have missed you if I died,” I whispered.
“Oh, you would have seen me soon enough,” he said. “Now, you’re sure you’ve got this? Are you sure you can do this alone, or are you embarrassed to have me help you?”
“If push comes to shove, I’ll call.”
“Okay. I’ll be right outside.”
“What’d you mean about me seeing you soon enough?”
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
