Page 141 of Scavenger's Oath
But he doesn’t realise that he never hesitated to build things with me. It rolled off him so naturally, as if his presence alone is the perfect atmosphere for growth.
“I was scared of you the most, you know,” I say softly. “That first night.”
His hands still, hovering over the soil.
“Youarethe biggest,” I justify with a breathy laugh. “And you guys had just burnt that poor man alive. I thought you were gonna kill me too. You didn’t move like someone who needed to prove anything. You just… watched. Quiet and patient. I thought that meant you were the most dangerous.”
His jaw ticks as he glances at me. “That guy was a flesh trader… not some ‘poorman’,” he grits out before schooling histone. “I am dangerous, Ivy… but never for you.”
Zane draws in a deep breath, then lets it out slow. “When I was with the flesh traders. They turned me into someone I didn’t recognise. And when Phoenix and Myles found me, I vowed to never be that man again. To do everything I could to stop the barbaric practice.”
He digs his fingers into the soil, jaw ticking. “I told you about The Pit. But I didn’t tell you everything. Their forms of entertainment… it was part of training women we stole from the groups we raided.”
My stomach clenches, bile rising. He’s hinted at this before. But it’s hard to hear him say the words. I have to curl my fingers tighter into the dirt just to stay grounded. I know he was just as much a prisoner as I was.
“They were kept in cages while they were being trained,” he continues. “Occasionally, one would be thrown in The Pit with a Berserker. Punishment for her, or reward for him… didn’t matter, the result was the same. When one of the Berserkers was in The Pit, it was a big event. They expected a spectacle from us. More niche. More… violent. I didn’t mind the fights so much but when a woman was thrown in with me... I felt like I was losing another piece of my soul.”
Watching the expressions on his face twist, I let him talk. He wants to share and trusts me enough to be vulnerable with this.
He takes a deep breath, voice roughening. “They made me do horrific things. Things to prove my loyalty, my devotion. Things I still see when I close my eyes. Hurting people in ways I won’t describe... especially those women. That girl I told you about…”
My stomach turns, hands frozen in the soil.
He swallows hard, looking away. “She was thrown in with me once… and I killed her. I never thought I’d be able to touch another woman again after everything I did… I don’t deserve to,” he adds, still avoiding my eyes.
“Zane,” I whisper, my voice tight. “You didn’t choose that. You were forced to do those things.”
He nods, but he’s still refusing to look at me. “But my body still responded to all of it.”
A chill runs down my spine because I know that betrayal too well. How your body can hum against your will, just because it’s wired to. The shame never belonged to us, but it lingers like a brand all the same.
I sit back on my heels, blinking against the burn in my eyes. “Just because your body responded, doesn’t mean it’s something you wanted. You’ve never hurt me. You’re always so gentle—Oh… That’swhyyou’re so gentle.”
He finally looks at me again, nodding—and the weight of it, the pain in his expression—it wrecks me.
I reach over and take his hand in mine, callouses rough on my softer skin before his muscles loosen.
“I know what it’s like when your body betrays you. You weren’t the only one forced to do things,” I say quietly. “The man who kept me… his name is Bennett. He was a selfish man but when my body responded to him, he’d boast about it for weeks.”
Zane’s fingers tense around mine.
“When he bought me, it was to replace one of his other wives… one he’d beaten to death because she wasn’t ‘taking to his seed’.” I swallow hard. “Kate replaced her as the wife who was supposed to continue his bloodline. She was kind and naturally maternal. She’s the one who taught me how to grow food, how to keep my head down and keep Bennett happy.”
Zane’s fingers twitch against mine, a pulse of fury flashing in his dark eyes before he tamps it down. His jaw flexes, like he’s swallowing words he wants to spit into the dirt.
“Kate became like a big sister to us. But… when she died, and it was just me and Jade, I became his next choice. He shared Jade with his men, but never me. He was the only one ‘pure’enough to… impregnate us. Promised carrying his ‘seed’would ‘purify’us too. I think he was shooting blanks, but he was getting more desperate… and crueller.”
Zane’s grip on my hand tightens almost painfully, and for a heartbeat, I think he’ll snap. His chest rises with a sharp inhale, then steadies. He doesn’t speak, but the silence is a thundercloud.
Looking down at our dirt-covered hands, laced together, I sigh heavily. “We didn’t know how long we’d last with his track record... so, we started planning.” I suck in a shaky breath. “I didn’t think I’d survive out here for long... I just didn’t want to die like they did. But I still feel guilty for not meeting her. I just hope she got far enough that they haven’t found her.”
There’s silence for a while. Just the sound of wind through the trees, birds singing, the hum of life still daring to grow.
Zane’s voice is low, a growl smoothed into a promise. “I’ll kill him for you. We’re going to hunt him down. When you’re ready.”
I press my forehead against his shoulder, the sun-warmth of his skin flooding my senses as I close my eyes. “I know.”
We sit like that for a while, wounds bared to each other, dirt on our hands and ghosts at our backs. But there’s sunlight on our skin and something green ready to break through the earth.
