Page 41 of See, Hear, Speak No Evil, Mr. Darcy
“You are the one person with whom I wish to have this discussion. Do please agree to be by my side when I face my mother. In return, you will have your own apartment at Rosings. Decorate it to your preference. Live with me, help me manage her with the kindness I feel less inclined to show by the day. I will bequeath you my dowry upon my death. Whatever you choose to do once I am gone, you need never fear destitution. You can then live life on your terms. When Richard comes, we will enjoy our time all the more. Meals filled with wine and excellent conversation every evening he can spare with us. He is a consummate gentleman.”
“That is a great number of suppositions on your part,” Charlotte said with a thread of temper.
Anne understood her friend’s frustration, for this would upset many once it became known.
“Then I shall have Richard sign the annulment papers I have on hand at Rosings. My mother never ceases in her attacks, never compromises, always wants submission. I need someone who can advocate for me or explain why something must be, beyond just stating what she wants. Even my companion takes her part, given that my mother pays her salary.”
“Pardon?” This time, Charlotte was successful when she pulled away from Anne.
“My cousin was his ever-gallant self when he extended his protection and agreed to marry me. He did not know, does not know, I had already every intention of naming him my heir, but he will not mind that my dowry is to be yours. Rosings Park ismine. Everyone says I will live many years more, but I fear it untrue. To know Rosings is secure and my mother is to receive the best care which can be found, meaning yours, is what every heir must do,” Anne said.
Charlotte slipped her arm through Anne’s, and Anne accepted the simple kindness.
“Perhaps you could start at the beginning, Anne?”
“I have been alone these many, many years, but for the visits made by my cousins. Many times a day, my mother speaks of my impending marriage to Darcy but refuses to allow me to learn any duties a mistress should know. I love my cousin Darcy. Now that I am older, I understand he protected us both when he gave me the slightest acknowledgment in her presence. Mother would have taken any attention as encouragement. When I was younger, I was certain he hated me. It was Richard, it was ever just Richard, who allayed my fears.”
“You are fortunate for their company. In the little time I have spent in his presence, Mr. Darcy is an excellent gentleman,” said Charlotte.
“Inowknow my cousin Darcy to be the best of men. That Easter visit, when my mother’s demands were so forcefulI feared he might give in, I went to the conservatory. Richard came to find me. I begged him to marry me before he left with his regiment, though I did not think he would agree. To my greatest relief, he understood my desperation. No heiress wants to be forced into a marriage she did not look upon with any pleasure. I was certain Darcy disliked me.”
“That would have been difficult, but any mother would wish to claim Colonel Fitzwilliam for a son.”
“Mine would not. She is officious in the extreme and may attempt to throw me offmyestate. In marrying Darcy, I would not usurp her position as mistress of Rosings. She is cold, demanding, and single-minded. It isherhappiness she considers. My enjoying the estate my father leftmeis not in line with her wishes,” Anne said, unable to conceal her pique.
“I am sorry for your disharmony and her lack of consideration.”
“Mr. Collins is her new pet. She makes him desperate to know her approbation, revels in his supplication. After a period of time, she allows him to believe he is in her good graces until she wishes to repeat the cycle, so she knows his will is hers to bend,” Anne explained bitterly.
“His visit to Longbourn was brief.”
Anne straightened. “I ask from you a great deal in keeping my confidence. But it was notDarcywho protected me. Nor was it my uncle who saw me three times throughout my life. It was not my aunt who came to check on me. Her letters, sent every other month, are cursory at best, nearly identical to those she sends Ana when they are not in London. Why? Because she knows nothing ofme. Nor was it Sebastian, their son and heir, currently the viscount. Imethim the day my father’s will was read. I was the sole heir, but I was notallowedto attend the reading.
“It wasRichard. At but fifteen, Richard informed my mother that if she ever had me bled again, he would express to his father that she needed to be remitted to Bedlam, as the it was not helping me. It wasRichardwho inquired after me, ensuring I had the freedom of fresh air in a phaeton. And though on his own fields of battle, it wasRichardwho wrote me letters with regard tomyinterests, the single other person who ever cared to learn them beyond Georgiana.”
By the time she was done, Anne’s chest was heaving, and she struggled to draw breath. But she saw understanding in Miss Lucas, and that was a welcome change.
“I am grieved for you.”
“Georgiana, dear Georgiana. She tries so hard to know me at his encouragement, but I keep her at a distance. Richard knows it is to protect her from my mother but hopes I will relieve our mutual loneliness. Lady Catherine went to Pemberley the day after my uncle Darcy died to take her from her home, intending to act as her guardian so that my cousin felt beholden enough to her so would wed me.”
“I am saddened that you know such circumstances and loneliness.”
“Perhaps you now understand why I leave Rosings Park to Richard and no other. While he is an intelligent man, he is not presumptuous. I think he would protest if I were to tell him my intentions. But it is done, and it is done for the best.”
“As he genuinely cares about you, I cannot fault your choice.”
“Now, we start again,” Anne said. “I see you are surprised at the quickness with which I regain my composure. When one lives with Lady Catherine, one learns to mask or correct one's expressions as quickly as possible to avoid being berated. One cannot have a differing opinion, nor react to any contrivancesmy mother wishes to throw tantrums over any given day, you see.”
“You are with me, and we are walking the grounds of Netherfield Park in Hertfordshire. I will not judge you if you talk to me in anger, sadness, or joy.”
“Already you prove my friend. While my cousin kept the marriage contract, I have a copy of the annulment papers our uncle also prepared. I always knew there would come a day when they were needed. I will not ask him to keep to our ruse now that Darcy is betrothed.”
“I understand your logic, but do you not think this best discussed with your husband?”
“I love Richard as much as I am capable of loving anyone, though I cannot claim to know more than three people well enough to like or dislike them. I will not, rathercannot, stand in the way of his happiness. If ever he falls in love, I will have those annulment papers signed and filed. Uncle Saul will marry him to the wife he deserves in the same expedient manner he did us, I am certain.”
“I believe you have quite mapped out our lives. He is to have a new wife, and I am to live as an independent spinster,” Charlotte said, taking no pains to mask her pedantic tone.
