Page 117 of Taming Grumpy Dr. Beast
Lily stayed silent, her face now in a neutral expression that revealed nothing.
Jess continued. “There wasn’t any urgency in revealing our lie for what it was. Until now. Until you.”
Lily looked at me, sympathy intertwine with anguish on her face. I hoped that meant she believed us and was willing to give our relationship another try.
I moved closer to her. “Please don’t shut me out again. I’ve been slowly dying inside without you. I’ve missed you more than you know.”
Lily looked deep into my eyes, like she was studying them. After a few moments, she must have been satisfied with what she found because she gave me a soft smile and cupped my cheek with her hand. “Jaxon, I believe you.”
This was going better than I thought. Hope tugged at my chest. She was now within touching distance, and I had to tightly clench my fists so I didn’t reach out for her.
Tears gathered at her lashes. “But you lied to me and then let me go. How am I supposed to trust you?”
Fuck.I thought I was giving her time to come to terms with what happened. Instead, she thought I abandoned her.
“Lily, I’m sorry. I thought I was giving you the space you needed to get over being angry at me.”
She gulped hard, as tears slid down her pale, heart-shaped face.
Not able to help myself, I brushed them from her face. “Because in everything else, I never lied. You know that. You have to know deep down how much I hated keeping it from you.”
She finally met my gaze.
“I had planned to tell you that night. Then my parents took that opportunity away.”
“Do they still think you’re engaged?”
“No, we made it clear that it wasn’t true and we had no plans to get married.” I pleaded with my eyes for her to believe me.
She sniffed. Her worried gaze shifted to Jess. “If this fake engagement was the only thing holding your parents back from forcing you to marry someone else, what happens to you now?”
My dear, sweet Lily. Immediately thinking of others even before she thought of herself. She was the most genuine person I’d ever met.
Jess gave her a tentative smile. “I’ll be okay. Jax is helping me find my own place and figure things out. My parents cut me off, but I’m learning to live frugally,” she laughed. “Right Alden?”
He grunted.
Lily laid her hand on my arm.
I wanted to pull her to me, but I held back, afraid of scaring her off. The one thing that kept me strong was the fact that she was touching me. If she was touching me, and letting me in a tiny bit, maybe I still had a chance.
“I’ve missed you, too,” she whispered on a broken sigh.
My voice, thick with tears, made it difficult to talk. “Can you ever forgive me.”
She stared at me, not saying a word.
For the first time, I was the one who couldn’t deal with the silence. “You came into my life when I thought I’d never find someone to love. That I wouldn’t find someone to loveme, instead of my wealth or what I could give them. You gave me hope when I didn’t know I needed it.”
Her fingers tightened on my arm, tears gathering in her eyes once more.
“I didn’t know how beautiful the right kind of love could be or how it would wash away my self-doubt and the need to keep people at a distance. When you left, and I thought I’d never see you again, my heart shattered. Without you I’m nothing, and with you I have the world.”
For a woman who hated silence, she was able to maintain it well right now. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was slipping further away from me. I had to try one more time to get her to see that I meant what I said. “If I knew the magic words to help you decide to give me a second chance, I’d say them.”
Confusion warred in her eyes. “You hurt me, Jaxon. I can understand the need to protect your friend and why you lied, but I thought we had a connection, that we trusted each other. If you’d truly trusted me, you would’ve told me the truth. How do I know that there won’t be other things you keep me in the dark about because you don’t want to rock the boat or challenge our relationship?”
When someone speaks such a raw, honest truth it forces you to look at yourself differently. She wasn’t wrong. “There are so many reasons I went along with the fake engagement and only one real reason why I didn’t tell you.” I scrubbed at the back of my neck. “I was afraid. Afraid that by admitting to you what we did, you would use it as an excuse to end what we had.”
