Page 16 of Bizarre Bonds
I stop in the hallway, wavering with indecision that emerges in a yellow flicker from my hair.
Before the bond mark thing happened, our compassionate sorcerer told me that I could come to him for guidance when I needed it. But he also told me that he had to keep a distance because of the tinglier feelings he'd developed when I was around.
It seems awfully unfair that we could both have tingly feelings yet not be allowed to turn them into more delicious enjoyment, just because there are a few things he can teach me that I don't know. I hate making him uncomfortable, though.
Before I can make up my mind about what to do, the office door swings open. Jonah appears on the threshold, escorting out a student who’s barely half his height but has a puffy gray beard that makes him look more than twice Jonah’s age.
“I think once you’re finished with that, you’ll have a much more solid plan for your next placement,” Jonah is saying.
When he glances around and sees me, his expression stutters. A confusing waft of emotions hits me: toffee-sweet delight that turns sour with the anxiety that swirls through it.
I back up a step. “I’m sorry. You’re obviously busy. I’ll see you the next time I have your class!”
Jonah’s jaw tightens, but he nods to the other student before fully emerging into the hallway. A vague sense of apprehension reaches me along with a twinge of relief. What is he worried about right now?
His voice comes out even, but I catch the stiffness in it. “It’s all right. What did you want to see me about, Peri?”
When he’s standing this close, the thump of his heartbeat reverberating into me alongside my own, all the reasons he toldme we couldn’t be more than friendly fade into the distance. So many eager glimmers light up in him as he takes in my eyes, my lips, the curves beneath my clothes.
I remember the firm warmth of his arms around me when I fell off the climbing wall in the barn. The jolt that quivered through me when our gazes locked with his face so close to mine.
He would feel even better if I touched his cheek right now, ran my fingers into his hair, brushed my mouth against his. I’d feel good too. Good compounded on good with the emotions flowing between us, like the endless river of a chocolate fountain.
Except tragically that’s not actually true. The foul stew of guilt and shame is already seeping up through every tastier emotion that emanates from him.
It’s not like with Hail, whose hostility crackles through any glimmer of affection or interest before I’ve caught more than the faintest whiff. But Jonah doesn’treallywant me around any more than the winter fae does.
I don’t think there’s enough chocolate even between both of us to overwhelm that problem.
I force my mouth into another smile. He’ll be able to pick up on some of my own conflicted emotions, but from what I’ve gathered, the impact isn’t as strong as what I feel from the men. I’d like to put him at ease.
“I just wanted to let you know—my session with Shanty today went well. I managed to use my power completely on purpose for the first time. And not let anything bad happen because of it. Or… unwanted, or anything.”
Jonah’s expression twitches. I can tell he’s putting on his own smile through concentrated effort, although a little gust of pride—for me, this time—glazes my tongue like maple sugar.
“That’s really great, Peri.”
Now that I’ve started, I find I can’t stop myself from hurtling onward. “Maybe if I get even better, I’ll be able to figure out how to break the bond connections so everything can go back to…”
I trail off as a couple of other staff members amble past us down the hall. They aim curious glances at me and Jonah, and Jonah’s stance tenses alongside a smack of sharper uneasiness.
It’s them he’s worried about. The other people at the school—what they think of him?
Of him when he’s around me. Of whether he’s broken the rules and what that would mean about him.
Any embers of enthusiasm still shimmering inside me go dull. I dip my head and turn around. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that. I’ll see you in class.”
I hurry away, my heart heavy.
I accidentally inflicted my surprise power on Jonah out of a desire to be closer. What kind of fate did I offend that these supposed bonds have pushed him—and maybe all the men I care about—so much further away?
7
Periwinkle
Istare up at the looming rift, my skin prickling with the weird energy it gives off—that quavery push-pull as if it can’t make up its mind whether to hurl me away or drag me in.
How can this one feel so similar to the other two odd ones I’ve encountered even though the landscape around us looks different?
