Page 14 of Bizarre Bonds
I set off at a brisk pace, pushing my legs hard enough that I start to sweat almost immediately. The uncomfortable heat feels right, searing through my body.
I tip my head back so more of the sun's rays strike my face.
Even as I propel myself faster, a niggling reminder at the back of my mind has me veering in a slow arc. I can't take a real hike away from this place. I'd rather not have the basilisk glaring his disappointment at me if the cream puff faints again.
Especially consideringhisglares can be fatal.
It turns out my caution isn't enough. I'm circling around the farthest outbuildings, my shoes rasping against the hard earth and tossing up bits of grit, when a short but shapely figure with unmistakable teal hair wavers out of the shadow beneath a shrub several paces ahead.
The sight of the being who's caused most of my current problems brings my temper surging up my throat before I cancatch it. "I wasn't going to walk far enough away for anything to bother you. You didn't need to check up on me."
Peri blinks, her big blue eyes echoing the distress at my harsh tone that’s already reverberating into my chest. A smack of guilt hits me, followed by a prickle of irritation that she's made me feel guilty.
She tilts her head to the side as she studies me, staying where she is. Giving me my space. So fuckingconsideratenow that I can't really escape her.
"I wasn't worried about that," she says in a humiliatingly gentle tone. "I could taste—you're upset about something. But also, it hurts you being outside when the sun is so hot. Especially when you're walking quickly. Why are you staying out here when the atmosphere is bothering you like that?"
A sharper flare of embarrassment surges up, more searing than the damned sun she's fretting about. She can feel even those simple reactions, even when I'm not in the same building as her?
Is there anything I can keep from her, just for myself? Is she going to be watching every flash of insecurity and smattering of gloom that comes over me for the rest of my life?
My hands clench at my sides, but I cool my voice until it could be ice itself, flat and cutting. "I don't see how that's any of your business, no matter how much you'vetriedto make it yours. Maybe I don't want to feel good all the time. Maybe I don't want you deciding how I should feel. The last thing I need is a babysitter."
Shamed yellow flickers through Peri's hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you more. I'll go back to the school. But please look after yourself."
"What I really want is for you to get your ridiculous fucking glow off me," I snarl, but she's already leapt back into the shadows before I've finished my sentence.
I wave my hand in her general direction. "That's right. Run off now that there's a mess you can't fix."
She doesn't reappear. The sun keeps beating down on me.
A sickly sensation congeals in my gut.
I deserve this pain even more than I did a few minutes ago, don't I? And the only being who actually cares if I’m suffering is the one who put me in this position in the first place.
6
Periwinkle
Shanty cocks her head, peering at me. "So, you managed to get enough control over your powers to purposefully blast this prick of a sorcerer, but you still can't turn them on and off when you want to?"
That about sums it up.
I grimace and look down at my hands. We've been trying to stir up a flare of emotional energy for nearly an hour to no effect.
"It seems that way,” I say. “When we were up against the sorcerer, I got pretty freaked out. It was easy to just... propel the power that wanted to come out anyway. But Iwasable to hold it in until I was ready to use it. That's some progress!"
The siren lets out a huff, but it sounds more bemused than frustrated. "It is. I'd feel better if you could figure out how to tap into your destructive energy without needing to be in state of high stress that makes self-control even more difficult. The more practice you can get, the better."
"For sure. That’s why I’m here!"
I hesitate despite my cheerful resolve, grappling with the other feelings tangled inside me.
After all the work she's putting into helping me, don’t I owe it to her to be honest?
Shanty is smart enough to pick up on the fact that there's something I'm nervous about saying. Her wry tone gentles. "What is it, Peri?"
I clasp my hands together awkwardly. "It's even harder than usual for me to try to bring out one of those blasts right now because I don't know how bad it’ll get. Last time when I was happy, I pushed that glowy connection on my team without meaning to. I have no idea what other effects my powers might have. If I hurt someone even worse than before…"
