Page 12 of The Bride
“For sixteen months,” I reminded her. “You over her for sixteen months.”
“Doesn’t matter. Which means you don’t get to be mad at her.”
I let it drop. “Hey, have you thought about what we should do after the wedding? In terms of me living here.”
I had been sleeping on the couch in the study since Sam died. It seemed presumptuous to take the guest room. But the couch was lumpy as hell and wasn’t sustainable.
“I have, actually. I know you’re going to balk, but I think you should take Dad’s room instead of the guest room.”
“Not happening.”
“Hear me out. It’s got a private bathroom, so we wouldn’t have to share. A TV. You could have your own space that’s separate from me. It makes sense, Jake. I can’t take it. It would be too weird and I don’t want to move all my stuff anyway. I like my room.”
I hated it when she made sense. “Okay.”
“I’ll start going through his stuff tomorrow.”
“School,” I instinctively said. It was Monday.
“One more day. I have what I need to catch up,” she said, pointing at the laptop. “I think… I need one more day. Then I can do it.”
“Okay. One more day.”
I took my beer and was about to leave her to her homework when I thought about what Janet said. What people might think about us living together.
I wanted to ask her if she had concerns, but I didn’t want to invite the ugliness of it inside. Of course it wouldn’t have occurred to her that people might talk. She was growing up, but she was still innocent. I wasn’t going to change that.
“Dinner in few hours?”
“Yep,” she said. “Lots of casseroles. We have casseroles for life or something.”
I laughed and thought it was the first time. The first time since Sam died. Ellie could always do that.
Yeah, I was doing the right thing.
Four
Ellie
Ilookedat myself in the mirror. I didn’t think I looked like a creepy teenage bride and I knew I wasn’t a creepy teenage bride, but still…
I didn’t look like me.
It was the same dress I wore to my dad’s funeral—weird, I know—because it was still my nicest dress. Blue velvet, capped sleeves, with a belted waist. I wore my hair up because I thought it made me look older.
You know, because I was getting married today.
MARRIED.
I should at least look like I knew what I was doing.
I kept going back to my mantra.It’s no big deal. It’s no big deal. It’s no big deal.
Who was I kidding? It was a big freaking deal. On a scale of one to ten, this was a full-on ten.
I was getting MARRIED.
I guess I always thought I would someday. Fall in love. Find my guy. Have kids. It was all out there as themost likely future.
